Hi! I'm new here. I'm hoping some of you who have had experience with delusions/hallucinations can give me some advice.
My 84 year old mother has had increasing dementia for 3-4 years. No diagnosis of ALZ, doctors just say dementia. Anyway, according to the Levels posted on another thread, I'd say she most closely fits between levels 5 & 6. She lives alone. My brother and I live 3 hours away. We finally hired a geriatric care manager and got home care for 6 hours a day, because she was not able to cook anything for herself and was not eating. She doesn't think there is much wrong with her and hates having the aides around.
There are plenty of problems with caring for her, especially long distance, but the one thing that causes the most problems for her and for us is this delusion/hallucination she has about "bugs". Actually, except a little memory loss and confusion it was one of the 1st symptoms we notices. What I'm trying to say is that as her condition deteriorates this one thing remains constant. She started off telling us she had bugs in the house, so we had people come and spray over and over, even though we never saw bugs when we visited. Then she started picking up trash, lint,etc. and showing us and insisting they were bugs. Now she washes clothes constantly! She pulls things out and washes over and over. She has run off two aides because she says they don't wash her clothes right and aren't getting rid of the bugs. She also has really dry scalp that get sores and scabs over. Now she thinks the scabs are bugs and scratches her head constantly. I could deal with all this, if it didn't upset her so! She cries about it all the time and says she just can't live like this and that no one believes her! This is compounded by the fact that she works constantly trying to wash everything, which exhausts her and adds to her anxiety. I've learned not to try to argue that there are no bugs, but if I agree her, then how can I get her to quit washing and scratching and crying?! I don't understand why this one delusion has stayed so constant! I keep hoping it will change, but I know another might be worse. I tell her doctor, but her doesn't offer any help. She has been on anti-depressants for years. I've read that there are some meds that might help with hallucinations, but her family doctor doesn't suggest anything like this. Should we see a Geriatric specialist? I hate to put her through all the initial tests that I have read they conduct.
I'm sorry this is so long. If anyone has any ideas, I'd really love to hear them.
Dear Arthur, sorry you are also dealing with this problem. It is too bad you are all so far away from your Mom. In my opinion, if she is in stage 5 or 6, she needs round the clock care. Have you checked into nursing homes?
My Mom has delusions too. In her case it is not bugs but seeing people, hearing people, hearing things that did not happen. Seeing people who have passed away. I call it 'false memories." she will tell me I saw so and so today and he said this or that - when this person died years ago. OR, she tells me people living in this building moved away years ago - but in reality they are still here.
It is hard. Except for a few hours a day Mom is never alone. I live with her and for 6 of the 9 hours a day I am away, an aide is with her. She also resents the aide and constantly criticises her to me, but is nice to her face. Mom believes she has already cleaned, washed etc so i have to use all my persuasive powers to get her to have a bath or put her clothes in the wash ..I have to sneak them into the wash, actually ..
Good luck! Maybe your Mom does need better medical care, ask a specialist.
Martha,
Thank you so much for your reply. I probably should not have tried to "pigeon hole" Mother in one of those Levels since she's never been diagnosed or tested, but those symptoms seem so fit her worse days. The thing is, she can carry on fairly normal conversations for short periods and fools a lot of people. A couple more questions... did your mom's halluciations go and come and change, or did they stay pretty consistent? Also, was she ever prescribed any drugs to help with these episodes? I have read on other threads that some people seem to think that their loved ones were helped somewhat by anti-psychotic meds.
My care manager also thinks that Mother needs someone with her constantly and I know deep down in my heart that this may be so, but she is so angry with us for interfering in her life and as she says, "treating her like she is crazy"! I think she would be better off in a nursing home, but the thought of trying to get her there makes me physically ill! She has always begged us not to ever put her in a home. To get her to go I know we would have to take her crying, kicking and screaming. All my life she has always played the "nobody loves me" guilt card when things didn't go her way and that guilt is so deeply ingrained that I can not even imagine how I whould survive the trauma have uprooting her and moving her to a home!
Thanks again. This is a great message board! I just signed up today and have already learned so much, but to be honest to hear what some of you have been through is more than a little depressing as I consider what lies ahead. But it is such a help to see how others have coped and survived.
Reading your post and I know how you feel. My mother is 63 and dz with vascular dementia and I also think she fits the level 5-6 but she lives on her own with 3 hrs of help. I live in the same town and check on her daily; some nights she sleeps at my house because I think her fears when she is alone keep her up which makes the delusions worse. My mother's delusion involves her house --someone is coming and she has to move out. Everyday she calls my house or my husband at work to ask for help because she is being kicked out of the house. She tells this to everyone she knows. The house is in my name and there is never any calls on the caller id. More recently, she says that her mother (who died 15 years ago) wants the house back. She gets worked up and says she has no place to go and they are kicking her out. She has even called housing places to ask about apt because she believes this....Everyday I tell her the house is mine; no one called....etc. and she will argue. I am SO TIRED of this .....some of her friends have stopped calling because of this...they are also tired of same thing. She is on antipsychotic meds and looks overmedicated to me....but I am scared to cut back because of how she is with the delusions. I have asked her doctor ( geropsychiatrist) about it and he just says ...this is how it is...just reassure her!! Like we don't ....I am now experiencing high blood pressure problems ....I understand how you feel. this disease is hard on all involved.
I wonder if the "bugs" (especially if she feels they itch) might be triggered by some other health condition or imbalance. I don't know how common that kind of hallucination is with dementia.
Is your mom seeing a neurologist in addition to her primary care doctor? Has she had an MRI?
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