A break in the sentence .......... - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

angel_bear · 03-12-2005, 04:45 PM

Hi there !!

I've been quiet for a few days eh? Arm/neck still aching and sore, I am very limited in my strength and mobililty of my right arm. Not exciting when I'm right handed and tend to reach out for something and get halfway there and go "Ouch!" ... Martha, I'm waiting with baited breath on E's discovery of the truth, but I'm with Barbara on the "hardly likely" LOL LOL

But .... I digress ........ I rang the Carer Respite Group who have arranged for the people to come and shower FIL during the week and begged for a respite night, Saturday night so I could get the kids away from here and have a bit of fun .. they rang me back Friday morning and said "ok" .... I went trotting down to FIL and told him the events, and he sounded a bit "oh" about the whole thing. We didn't go into specifics, but I did say the KIDS deserved to go out with us and have a bit of fun at a friends house. The bloke who showered FIL on Wednesday was our respite worker last night. This went WELL !! MIL prefers BOYS !!! Respite worker (we'll call him Geoff but that's not his real name) went down and chatted with MIL, and supervised a bit of cooking she did (even the flaming grill ..hmmm) ....

We got home this morning and everybody is fairly calm and reasonable ... and I think "Well that went well .. GOOD"

Then the truth comes out ........

MIL grilled what should have been a broiled meat, so it was as tough as boots, she did her little vegie mix thing with mayonnaise, cheese spread and teeny chopped up vegies, (tastes putrid) and a bit of potato. FIL was NOT impressed, but grudgingly ate it anyway. Then he asked her if he could have some ice-cream with chocolate sauce.

She brought him ice-cream with liverwurst on it.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (shuddering at the thought )... so he told her "nope, liverwurst doesn't go on ice-cream, but chocolate sauce does" and she came back with ice-cream and cooking oil .......... the Geoff came in and saved the day and found the chocolate... (phew) .. she took his instruction without complaint or anger !!!!!!!!!! TYPICAL !!!!!!

OMG !!!!!!!!!!! It just got worse !!!! I'll never face ice-cream again !! LOL

This morning, after DH took MIL to church, I checked her meds. She's supposed to be on Adefin and Noten (Blood pressure) Natrilix (fluid tablet) 1 aspirin and the anti depressant. I've discovered today she's only taking the Natrilix , 1 aspirin and 1 anti depressant (we knew she was taking the anti depressant wrong, but she won't believe us or listen to a change of instructions cause SHE'S RIGHT!!) ...... so now she's on NO blood pressure tablets which probably explains WHY her behaviour's going ballistic !!!!!!!!! I'm dreading the next few days, she's going to be raving .... *sigh*

Shower day tomorrow with D (shower aide Monday and Friday last week) and BIL should be around .. we're minimising water damage finally (by parking FIL in a different spot and using a steel bar across the door with LOTS of tape) ..... so it shall be interesting .. to say the least.

Anyway .. HELLO to everybody .. it's nice having a break in the routine, and I discovered with my sore arm, I can't play darts right handed, however, I play darts equally as well with my left arm (that is, I can actually hit the target, but don't ask for specifics LOL I'm not very good at darts right or left handed) .. we sat out in my friends backyard, and watched the pink Galah's (wild birds) eat seed, and found 2 baby galah's who can't fly yet (awwwwww) and had a laugh when one of them looked up at the bird bath which is only 6" off the ground like it was the Empire State Building he had to traverse .... they'll be fine, they'll watch the other galah's and learn .. by the end of the evening, one of the babies could actually fly onto the fence (and teeter on the edge until he got his balance) - it was so nice being able to SIT and not get summoned every 15 - 20 minutes!!!! (Although FIL DID ring once at 6pm .. but got short shrift from DH .. the respite aide worker had my phone here at home !!!!)

Hugs to all .... hope your well, Martha .. stay rugged up and warm. You know, I'm discovering that when the stress of caring is lifted, I get sick, it's like my body says "RELAX" and it goes into overdrive ....

Sally

Martha H · 03-12-2005, 05:11 PM

Interesting comment, Sally , about getting sick just when you finally get some free time. I've been sticking to home mainly, although we had warm enough weather today to finally melt most of the snow. Do you get snow at all in Australia? (not now in your summer, of course!) Tomorrow I want to do SOMETHING all on my own but haven't decided what yet.

I am so tempted to call E's house to ask how things are, but I will keep myself down!
I would only hear 'all is well.'

If that's the story I get, I can always say, "if you do so well with Mom, the only logical answer is to have her live with you permanently!" See what happens then!!

Love,

(we missed you!)

Martha

BarbaraH · 03-12-2005, 05:38 PM

Hi Sally!

Good to hear from you. As Martha said, you were missed, but only in the friendliest of ways! We wish you no chaos du jour. Sorry to hear about your ongoing pains and limitations. Guess your body has found a way to slow you down even though your giving heart would have gone on, angel that you are - on, sorry, saint that you are!!

Cheers that you and your family had time off and the thrill and hilarity of baby birds to watch. Nothing is more restorative!

Ah, yes, the creative cooking, ingredients, and toppings that go with losing it to Alzheimer's. In my Mom's case, the creativity extended to how to package leftovers. It was not pretty. I shudder to visualize liverwurst on anything, but in ice cream is horrifying!! In this case, poor FIL - but wonder how much wider open his eyes got about MIL's real problems?!!

Cheers for Geoff who survived and didn't let the house get burned down or anyone get poisoned. He's a keeper. Can you request he be the one who always comes to shower FIL and arrange a weekly respite night??? Not too shabby!

So, are the conclusions that....
* MIL is not allowed to cook?
* MIL's pills will be laid out for her so she cannot take them incorrectly? Maybe put them in a plastic pill box, one dose only?
* assisted living for FIL and MIL is imperative ASAP for the family's sake or hire Geoff for 24/7?!?

Don't let anyone delay the move!!!!!!! Missed you

Hi Martha!

I love your planned reply to E. and hope, hope, hope that is exactly what you say to her if the situation arises! Do ask your brother to report what E. tells him!!!

Hope both of you are feeling better soon!!!!

Hugs - Barbara

angel_bear · 03-12-2005, 06:55 PM

Hi Girls ....

Yes, it does snow in Australia, but only way down south (1 days full driving) or a bit out west. Not too close .. unfortunatley and much to the horror of my kids LOL LOL ... they've never seen snow (except in the freezer), I was 14 by the time I went to camp (down south .. Mt. Koskiusko - pronounced Koz-e-os-ko) and discovered snow .. it's good when you go hunting for it, it's not fun if your stuck in it. I can't ski for love nor money, broke my ankle way back then traversing a small slope .. I prefer ice-skating, I have more control .. haven't done that in years either, because there's no rink near me (I lie .. 2 hours drive north of us there's a rink .. but at $12 a head, it turns into unaffordable and my skates are rusty)

MIL SHOULDN'T cook .. however, I jump up and down and demand my 2 nights a week off ... he CAN put up with what she does, I'll make sure the grill and oven are cleaned properly this week which will minimise the fire hazard ...Actually .. I'm doing damage control on Wednesday by sending 'extra' food down for her to serve ... that way she feels she's doing it, even though I've controlled it ..

As for the tablets .... <b>I'M </b>not taking them off her .. I'll be hit!!!! She's quite adamant she's in control of her medicines ... end of discussion !!!!!!! I am seeing the family doctor on Friday, and I'll discuss any options with him .. I can't even find her scripts to GET the tablets .... *rolling eyes* Lord knows where they've ended up .. I've retrieved FIL's scripts from the bin before too !! If I tell her she's got a blood pressure problem, she deny's it ... whaddya do???

BIL from China sent his Dad an email the other day advising that father look wider at this situation and look at Aged Care Facilities for him and mother. I've been on tenderhooks all weekend awaiting a summoning to ask about this email, but nothing has been mentioned .... so FIL is probably ignoring it. Apparently local BIL has been trying to have chats with father, but father keeps changing the subject.

Plan B is to wait for FIL's next admission (give it a week or so) and pound into him them the stupidity of staying in hospital longer than being at home ..

*sigh*

I'm trying ... I'M TRYING ........ I guess it will happen, but eventually is the word of the day now.

BTW ... L is doing an AIN course at College (Assistant in Nursing) specialing in Aged Care. I said to her the other day "When do you do personal care?" and she said Next week, so I started chuckling and said "GREAT !! You can take FIL in for Show and Tell!!!" .... I also said (in the nicest way) that when her course finishes in June SHE'LL be able to come and help shower/shave/personal care FIL ..

she almost threw up ......

And she's doing this course why ????????

People are beginning to annoy me ................

But hugs to you gal's .. my friends :-)

Sally

LuvMyLilDoggie · 03-12-2005, 09:38 PM

Hi Sally, Barbara and Martha!
Sally, good to see you're back. I was beginning to thing your shoulder was keeping you away from your pc.
The pill thing. That's a toughy. My dad went through that with me when I first moved in with him. I wound up buying him a new pill organizer. It was a weekly one. I told him to go ahead and fill it. Then when he was sleeping, I would check to see if he did it right. Of course, most of the time, he made mistakes. I would make certain all the pills were in there and in the right place. Sometimes he'd notice the difference and say "the doctor said I didn't have to take that one anymore" and I would tell him "I know but she called and told me she wants you to start taking it again." Of course, she didn't really call but that seemed to make things ok for him-at least for a while. Soon after, I was able to convince him to leave his meds in the kitchen. After about a month or so of gingerly dancing around the subject of meds, he started letting me get his meds ready for him. He depends on me to do it now.

I hope that Geoff will be able to come and bathe FIL all the time. It's really hard on patients and caregivers when aides are constantly being switched.

Ice cream with liverwurst topping? YUK!!! I shall never look at ice cream the same way again! That would be a good thing for me bc I LOVE ice cream and I really need to lose weight. Hey, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Take photos of really disgusting food combos and put them on the refridgerator door. That way, when I get really tempted to eat something I shouldn't, I'd lose my apetite or craving before opening the door!

Barbara, how are you? I'm curious what state you live in now? I think you may have mentioned it before but I don't recall.

Martha, I hope you're feeling better, dear. Do you still have a lot of snow on the ground? Ours has all melted away except for a dusting we got last night.
You're doing great resisting the urge to call E. I must admit I'm curious what E would say if you did suggest your mom live with her. I think we know the answer to that, though. All of a sudden, out of the blue, E would say "I see what you've been saying all along, Martha and you're right. I'm so sorry for doubting you. Honestly, I don't know HOW you've managed this long!" And then she would send mom back to you.

Have a pleasant evening ladies. I'm exausted so off to bed I go.

Love, Barb