BarbaraH

Hi Martha,

Just what you expected - maybe not all the facts either, but only the highlights.

When my mother visited us for the last time in Texas, she had herself under tight control. She had bathroom accidents, used her glaucoma eye drops incorrectly twice, and opened that Christmas gift bag 3 times, like I've mentioned. We shopped and she bought oddly glitzy things: wreath, Christmas cards for the next year, and a sparkling bowl. She did dress at 11pm and say she didn't want to miss anything, but my sons were staying up, so she did, too, for a little while. My family and I thought hummmm, and exchanged some alarmed glances. The trip back to VA with her was not eventful other than she got very angry when she couldn't follow me down the ramp onto the airplane. I had fallen behind a few steps and motioned her ahead - WRONG!

All was normal at her home except it was cluttered and the refrigerator was scary. Nothing prepared me for the fight over the keys at 11pm 3 nights later when she couldn't read the clock or see the night sky with understanding, or her sudden lack of comprehension of the pronoun "you" as we looked at family pictures in the middle of another day. It was as if she was home and could relax - and let all of her confusion tumble out. I was so upset that I wrote it all down - all the crazy things Mom was doing and saying, and I cried a lot. If I knew your address, I'd copy what I wrote and send it to you.

For the previous 7 months, an accountant had come to her home monthly to help her pay bills and that had worked well. I suddenly saw that Mom could not continue to live alone at all because she could not safely cook, store food, drive, or manage at all.

I wonder if you mother's control will slip soon and Elsie will see what she wishes not to see. On the other hand, your mother may lose it after she gets home like my mother did. Be ready and talk to B. about that possibility.

Perhaps you should wait a day or two before sending the email!!

You've done nothing wrong, nothing to make your mother worse, and you know it. Banish those silly and negative thoughts. You know Elsie will talk a good line just to make everything as it should be - or to pretend it is.

Enjoy your days of freedom!! Cheer that your mother is still in Ohio. What Elsie says doesn't matter. Ha!

Hugs - Barbara