I went to the doctor and it was quite amazing. He was very understanding, and besides handing me free samples of the antibiotic I need (I told him I have no prescriprtion drug insuarance) he listened for a long time about my Mom's problems and the way it is affecting my life.
His opinion is, she ought to be in an assisted care facility. He also 100%agreed with you, Sally, by saying taking full time care of your mother and a full time job is too much for anyone. It is a wonder you did not get sick long before this.
I have to go back to the pharmacy to pick up the other drug, something to ease the pain ... but he gave me 8 (sample) antibiotic pills for nothing!
He told me all 6 of his adult children have their orders: "if Mom or I ever get Dementia, we WANT to be in an assisted living facility and NOT stay at home or go to live with one of you, NO MATTER WHAT WE MAY SAY THEN."
I told my brother this on the way back in the car. He says we will not rule it out altogheter, but maybe later ... not yet.
Now I have to conitnue on the cranberry juice and start the 2nd drug. Oh, by the way, the antiboitic is the SAME ONE I had begun taking early this morning .So I was not wrong , after all -
- yet this visit did me a world of good, just to hear a professional tell me what I already know!
What a great doctor! And for him to listen to you about your mom and all was just wonderful. It feels really good to have your thoughts and feelings validated by a person who knows about dementia, doesn't it?
Oh Martha, if I only knew your addy, I would send you a nice care package with all the fixin's needed to drive that infection out of you. But all I can send is warm wishes and cyber hugs.
I've missed you guys the past couple of days. My pc crashed. My Windows XP went bonkers. A major file was deleted somehow. I tell ya, with all the protection my pc has, you would think it belonged to the Pentagon or something. Something still got in and caused me to have to spend $240 to repair it.
I think dad's getting ready to go into hissy fit again soon. He gets really quiet before he goes into one. He knows I had the plumber here to give me an estimate on how much it would cost to replace a main water valve and kitchen faucett. Any time work has to be done on the house, he freaks because he doesn't realize that whatever is being done HAS to be done. You should have seen him a couple of years ago when my brother-in-law replaced a window. Dad didn't think anything was wrong with the window because the inside glass was still intact. Even when we showed him that everything on the outside had actually FALLEN OUT on to the ground, he INSISTED that he didn't need a new window. Hmmmm. Ah well, such is life at the moment.
Chicken Soup for the Soul-I love those books! So calming.
Update on Mom's visit: my sister did not write, but my Brother in Law did!
AND, he admits - in his own less dramatic way than I might put things - that Mom can never be allowed to live alone, she would always forget her pills or take too many (they give them to her, then she asks if she had them.) She tells garbled and false stories, misplacing my brother's house and job, etc. After a particularly busy day (when she is there it is vacation for all, nobody goes to work anyway, so they take her to concerts, swimming, visiting and much more) she said at night "I am not tired, we didn't really do anything today."
SO .. HE SEES IT! HE admits it. Without saying Mom is in bad shape, he more or less admits that there is indeed a deterioration taking place, and the longer she is there, the more will become visible. I think my sister comandeered him to the Internet to write, because she might have to admit something if she writes ...
Anyway, that and the Dr's undertsanding made my day, now I just have to get well fast so I can work until Thursday noon (the woman who substitutes for us is sick in the hospital with a heart bypass..) and then OFF to sunny Florida. Even if I have to stay in the shade, 80 in the shade sounds like paradise after the snows and storms of this long long winter.
Meanwhile, Bill told me he is now having insomnia worrying abut how to manage everything once Mom is at their house, and there's a new baby coming in June, and Anna has promised to baby sit when her daughter in law goes back to work, etc.
I can't say just relax, all will work out! He did say that he puts a deadline on Momcare and that is January 2008. She would be 100 the October before ..I don't think she will last, but if she does, THEN it's time for the assisted living quasi nursing hme ... so he and Anna are actually only promising just under 3 years of Momcare. I am hoping she peacefully goes to Heaven before getting much more confused, forgetting how to walk or swallow, etc.
I think she is too old to need to go through those stages.
Martha, I had a feeling that someone there would say "I see something is not right with mom". I had hoped that it would have been E but, hey, this is a good step. Who knows? Maybe E was behind it, maybe not. The point is that if others are seeing it there, so is E.
I thought that if you hadn't stayed in touch, they would admit somehow that things were not as good as E was trying to convince you.
I am SOOOO happy for you!!! First the validation from the doctor and now, a sort of "you were right" from Denialville....lol!
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