Ok my first "rant" "vent" whatever - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

SiestaDrew · 04-01-2005, 08:43 AM

I am sooo glad yesterday is over. First thing I am in the kitchen making lunch and all of a sudden my hubby comes in bleeding from the head--he had walked in the back yard like 3 seconds--I said what the h happened to you he said" I had to crawl thru the bushes to find the dog".

Well let me tell you when I am cooking anything in the kitchen you can imagine where the dog is---at my feet--he is a garbage disposal.

So of course he is bleeding like crazy--a cut on the head--so we take care of that one--but hubby is like pacing still looking for the darn dog that is at my feet.

So then I say do you want to watch animal planet or maybe a movie--"no"

So we go for a walk, with the dog, and that seemed to settle him down. So now I say, I really need to do some paperwork, pay some bills so you need to relax, that worked for about an hour.

So then it got kind of humid out--so this one is probably my fault, but I closed all the sliding glass doors and turned the A/c on. Then the darn pool guy arrived--I forgot it was his day. Well my hubby thinks he has to supervise the pool guy(thank **** he likes us) so he goes charging out when the guy arrives and------------yup-----------bam------he smashes into the closed sliding glass doors---really really bad.

I am in the computer room--actually talking to you all when I here this big bam!!

Well to be honest he really did hurt himself, I could see the bruise and such forming on his nose like instantly.

I could have died--now he has a cut on his head and his nose is like swelling up like crazy---if social services would have been here they probably would have taken my hubby away from me-------------hmmm-------no will not go there--but a thot!!

Anyway, he is hurting and I know he is, tried again to put a movie in for him---he came into my den and said the movie sucked--helllo his fav last month--kept pacing and such, sooo I did not want to but gave him a sleeping pill--I knew I was making a big big mistake that early but did it anyway.

So yep I was right, too too early for sleeping pill, I wake up at like 2 am hearing this weird machine, my hubby is in the bathroom, shaving and brushing his teeth and asks me when is breakfast ready????

So I did the one thing I swore I would never ever do--gave him another sleeping pill. I do not use them often--truly--but shoot I did feel really guilty for doing it. But worked he slept til 8 am today woke up is fine and you would never ever know yesterday happened.

So anyway hope you understand, just needed to vent---thank you guys for that.

Good thoughts, Linda

BarbaraH · 04-01-2005, 10:31 AM

Hi Linda -

As Roseanne Rosannadanna's father used to say, "It's always something" (think SNL and Gilda Radner) and that's never more true than with early and mid-stage Alzheimer's. It's amazing your DH didn't go through the glass. Maybe some of those plastic decorations that you can put on windows would help him see the slider. Maybe he could be pursuaded to wear a baseball cap and that would protect a bit from branches and sliding glass doors. Maybe? Good luck!

My sweet little mother was in mid-stage when I moved her to an assisted living facility because there were more people to watch over her there and keep her safe. As Sally, Martha, and Barb can attest, it's really, really hard to do it at home by yourself. You just cannot be awake all of the time. Sooner or later, your DH will become more than you can handle. Sad, but true.

My personal opinion here, but as far a medications go for Alzheimer's patients, my belief is that whatever gets everyone a good night's sleep is good. Beyond that, if an antidepressant helps, go for it! There's no cure and it's all about doing the best you can one day at a time. Maybe you should talk to his doctor about some medicine to give as needed for aggitation and restlessness. I know you don't want your DH as zoned as a zombie, but judicious use of meds. will avoid that state.

Rant as needed!!

Wishing you well - Barbara

LuvMyLilDoggie · 04-01-2005, 11:32 AM

Well, I guess I know where the first part of your moniker came from. Your desire for a Siesta.

Do you have anyone nearby who can come by your house when you have a lot of things to do? Someone to keep your husband company while you get the chores done, bills paid, etc? This would help a lot. You're obviously not able to put your full attention on other important things when your husband is having a bad day. I can certainly understand that. I can get NOTHING done when dad is having one of those days. Luckily, it hasn't been too often lately.

I hope you're having a better day today.

Love, Barb

Martha H · 04-01-2005, 02:28 PM

Dear Linda, Rant! Vent! You deserve it. No wonder you are upset. This is really too much. Your Dad is losing his sense of how to stay safe. Doing foolish and even dangerous things. My 3 year old son went through a glass door way back then .. not thinking! Not able to tell it was closed. Stitches. ( He's now 36!) Your husband is in that state now.

I agree that he may need round the clock care. This job is too much for one person. How about a home health aide at home for some hours every day (or night) so you can go out and do other things or even sleep at that time?

You need help. Too much responsibility for you alone, and it gets harder. Good luck. Come and YELL any time, it helps!

Love

Martha

Beginning · 04-01-2005, 02:40 PM

Your story had me smiling and sniffling -- it also sounds like you're juggling lots of things at one time, and might be getting to the point where extra help might be needed. My husband's starting to do some of the same things.

The recommendation about putting stickers/decorations on the glass doors was a great suggestion!

One AD social worker told me that Alzheimers patients have poor sense of depth perception. She gave as examples a patient who pours milk into a glass, who might not actually be able to "see" where to pour correctly (an explanation for why Alzheimers' patients begin to get clumsy and start having more accidents). She said that Alzheimer's patients might see patterns on rugs or changes in color in pavement as having different depths, which is believed to be a reason for the shuffle that some patients develop. She suggested that baseboards should be a different color than the rug, since Alzheimer's patients might walk into walls if they can't differentiate where the baseboard starts to go up the wall. This might not have any value AT ALL in your situation, and I'm offering it here just as interesting information that made some sense to me. I actually filed it away for whenever I have to find a NH someday (She claimed that you could tell whether a NH was up-to-date on Alzheimers' patients' special needs by looking at the baseboards and whether the rugs had patterns!!), but it also helps me to understand one more reason for hubby's growing clumsiness.

Thanks again for sharing your story -- I haven't gotten to the sleeping pill stage yet, but I can understand why they can be lifesavers!