This is my rant/vent. I have been working really hard and trying to juggle my mom and sister's care. I had a lady who helped me 3-4 hours a day until 3/1 since then I have just done the best I can. I applied for hm provider services in Dec --just last week I finally got approval. I saw the gero psyc on Tues and he said "you can't do this for too long. You have your life to live." He told me she needs supervision --and I need to start thinking of placement. Okay, I know I do but...I have such a full plate ---I just want some help right now ( placing my mom also means I have to figure out what to do with my Down's Sydrom 42 year old sister.) He then asks if I have home health. NO@!!!!! He states he will make a referral to a home health company that also has psychiatric support. I was glad and told him I may get home provider services soon. He told his secr to make a referral and we would see what could be done. (I am feeling like their is a spec of light in this dark tunnel) . In the meantime, the company for the home provider service came out Friday and got all the paperwork signed, etc. They would start as soon as the MD signed the form. They would give her 28 hours a week (4hrs/7 days a week) At this point, I am EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
WEll, this week is almost over and I had not heard from the home provider company(and I have been crazy busy at work). Today I call them and they tell me that the dr. has not returned the form. They faxed and mailed it on Monday. I call dr. office and the sec tells me the dr didn't want them (that company) so he didn't sign it. he wanted some other company. I go NUTS and ask why no one had contacted me. I have been waiting all week and I did all the work to get this set up ....as they have been no help and now they are holding it up!!!! (This is a nicer version than how it probably really sounded!!!) in the middle of this WE got disconnected ????(hmmmm) I call back and am not very pleasant. The sec just kept repeating that the dr had told me he was ordering home health with this company. I stated he did not tell me it was exclusive and that I could not use the home provider services (which is different than nursing--it is house cleaning, body care, etc not med dispensing...) I was yelling by now and she just kept repeating the same thing about it being an order. She then said they had called the two companies he wanted and neither would accept my mom's insurance so they were WAITING for him to tell him what to do. They are WAITING WHILE I GET NO NO HELP. I told her this was no type of care, no type of service....And when were they thinking of letting me in on the plan. I told her I NEED HELP NOW!!!!!! She just said she would have the dr call me. I responded to that ....I was at work at the time ( I teach at the university ) and I had a class to teach. Go figure he called in the middle of my class (no I did not take my mobile--I have a policy of no cell phones for my students...and that goes for me too!). I called back ...they are at lunch. I called at 1 and they told me they'd page him . That was 2 hours ago. They just don't care. I figure he wants to use those companies because he is linked to them--referrals or he is medical director.( Ethics?--another issue for another time). Regardless, those companies will not accept my mom so now they are blocking me getting any help. Unfortunately, my mom does not have another dr. --we are in midst of getting a family practice dr but she is on his waiting list.
I just can't believe they are so disregarding of our situation. Most of his patients are Alzeheimers, dementia, etc. You would think there would be more consideration or recognition of what we caretakers have to deal with.
I am so tired of trying to keep up with it all...it takes every effort for me to keep moving forward.
I am needing to take my daughter prom dress shopping tomorrow (we have to go out of town because we live in a small town) and I worry about my mom and making sure she is okay. But, I can't shortchange my baby girl ...or welll, aren't we all having to figure this out. I just keep saying...I am tired!!!
Sorry for the long message. Just needing to vent.AS I WAIT FOR A CALL BACK.
So sorry to hear of this plight. I can't believe the callousness of doctors, medical personnel etc. You are just a number .. and all kinds of promises are made. Cruel things are said. Mistakes are made. A fax is not sent.
Hang in there and keep calling the doctor's office. My hint (if at all possible) speak with kindness to the secretarial staff, ask how they are feeling, tell them a little about yourself and your Mom and sister ..get on their good side. Then when you call again they won't say "OH, it's the crank again, get rid of her" but "it's the poor lady with the sick Mom, let's try to help her.' It's the old "more flies with honey" story (but who wants flies!)
I've had the same problems in 3 countries, bringing up my kids in 2 overseas countries and back here; and having to figure out how to deal with doctors. I developed the above method ..whenever in the office, polish the apple of the POWER behind the desk. I did it here when I broke my wrist. I asked HER how she was feeling, is it a good day for you? How's your family? while I waited hour after hour because my $%^&* PrimaryCare Physician had not faxed over my "referral" .. finally she took pity on the "nice lady with the watermelon where her wrist belongs" and allowed me to see the Great Man ..who ultimately fixed my wrist very well, considering the double break ...
Meanwhile, vent, yell and scream here ..and be 'sweet' to the doctors ... it is so sad we have to be this cynical ..
Oh my, you do have a lot on your plate. I know the frustration of dealing woth doctors. I had to fight doctors for myself and my dad. My sister used to work as a Medical Assistant and I can tell you from what she told me, Martha is right. My sister said the people who were patient and kind were the ones she loved. She wasn't the reason things went wrong but she was always the one who got the brunt of the anger from the patients who were wronged. She said she understood why they felt as they did but it angered her when she told them it wasn't her fault and they kept on yelling at her. The people who were nice to her were treated with the most respect by her.
I'm not saying you don't have every right to be as angry as you are. Lord knows you do. Kill 'em with kindness.
A lesson for all.....if you **** off the office staff....the doctor will discontinue care for your loved one. Apparently, I was labeled a difficult caregiver and thus we have been "fired" or "let go" from his care. How's that? For all a lesson or confirmation of earlier replies...be nice. yes, he told me he would sign the home provider form today but within 30 days I will receive a letter notifiying me of his discontinuation of care of my mother.
I am feeling so many emotions right now....i just don't know what to do ....don't know....
my lord delores. what you do right now is breathe. and then breathe again. i can't believe how you've been treated! at least he signed the home provider form so you'll be able (?) to get some help in. and it also sounds like it's a good idea to get another dr anyway. but, the blow to the gut after going for 'help' and being so disrespected (getting kicked when you're down) is unbelievable!!!!! i know, that kind of thing makes you feel like you've been abandoned by the whole world. that 'repetitive answering' thing always gets me too - when you're begging for help and the secretary just keeps repeating their stock phrase which doesn't quite address what you're saying. makes you feel primitive rage, or it does me, anyway. brreeeeaaatttthhhheee.....and then when you're past this.....write the office a letter....or better yet, send it to the editorial column of a local newspaper!
Dr's are supposed to help??? 
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