I think I've found a home! - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Sandyspen · 04-04-2005, 08:02 PM

Hi all, My name is Sandy.

My stepdad passed away 5 years ago and we've been trying to re-orient my Mom into the "real" world. "He did everything for her," she says.

And he did, so much so that we thought her problems were all because she needed to re-learn things that he had done for her. It just seemed that no matter what we tried to get her to do, she would do it for awhile then regress. Very frustrating.

We noticed little things over the last 5 years, couldn't pay her bills, forgot how to drive, can't make her own doctor's appts, etc.

So we've been on a 5 year quest to re-teach her.

The memory problems finally got so bad that I took her to the doctor and complained. She'd seen this doctor many times but never for memory.

He gave her the MMSE and she scored 9. I thought I'd fall off my chair. I couldn't believe her responses to such common things.

Now, I'm even more surprised as I've hunted message boards for the last 3 days to catch up on all I've missed with her condition. I feel guilty for not having recognized it for what it was sooner.

I feel like I've had a curtain over my head and someone lifted it. So if I ask dumb questions, be kind. I'm a dry sponge. If you feel like telling me anything...........please do.

My brother and I spoke this morning and realize we have to make drastic decisions and all within the next few weeks.

She lives alone during the day and an adult grandson comes after work, but we know that that is no longer acceptable.

I wish I had seen it sooner...............

Sandy

SiestaDrew · 04-04-2005, 08:11 PM

Sandy--there are "no' dumb questions. We are all learning. We may not have the answers to all your questions, but I have found that this board offers tremendous support. I am a "newbie" too.

How old is your mom? And did the Doctors say exactly what she has? Just curious.

We are here for you--so ask away.

Good thoughts for today, Linda

Sandyspen · 04-04-2005, 08:23 PM

I'm 58 and my Mom is 79.

She was married to my step dad for 10 years and they traveled a lot. We didn't see her on a daily basis. So I really think, now, that she had a lot of those symptoms when he was still alive but he just compensated for her and we didn't notice it.

The doctor told me dementia. I was so shocked, I didn't even know what to ask. I did ask if it was Alzheimers and he said it could be. She's in later stages though, and they don't usually test because you can't go backwards.

They started her on Zoloft and Aricept for 30 days, then go back to the doc. So I'm keeping a list of things I need to ask on the return visit.

I'm just totally scared! My mom and I were never close and this is gonna be really hard if I take her in with me. Yet, my other siblings are both brothers and I know they won't take her in.

Sandy

SiestaDrew · 04-04-2005, 08:34 PM

Sandy the first thing the doctors did with my husband is aricept, namenda and then lexapro, the reason I asked what your mom has, is cuz I took my hubby to Mayo Clinic and he did not have AD so they actually said the aricept and namenda could do more harm then good, plus it was a lot of money per month so we took him off that however I keep him on lexapro, anti depressent--that is good.

It is diffiuclt to actually know for sure what they have, I am guessing at her age it is probably AD but you never know.

Yea you have a lot of decisions to make, it sounds like she probably has had some kind of dementia for a while, and probably should not be living alone, that again is a guess on my part, but my hubby is only 56 and truly can not live alone, so you need to talk to your siblings and figure that part out.

Sandyspen · 04-04-2005, 08:50 PM

Linda,
Yep, the doctor gave me a 30 day supply of Aricept, to see if it would help, then he'd give a prescription. He didn't appear to be very hopeful though. I got the impression he did not expect much from it.

You know, it just seems crazy now, but in Feb we were at the emrgency room 3 times. A stomach pain. Had the whole round of test, cat scans and all. She always got better as soon as she got the IV. Finally, the third time, the doc said it's almost like she isn't eating..............

Last night I get a call from the Police Dept that she was roaming around her place at night and set off the alarm system.

I'm just wringing my hands.........One emergency after another. I can't believe that I just didn't see "it" before now. But I was taking her at her word, "she says she eats, she says she sleeps, and on and on," until I was around her more than once every two weeks. Now, after reading the boards, so much seems obvious.

Does AD stand for Dementia?

Sandy