I am trying to think of a title for this thread which is not so dopey sounding. But this one tells it all.
I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and begin getting ready for an early bedtime. I got up at 4 today, not bad for me, but it's 8 and I'm tired.
In the bathroom I stepped onto a glob of poop. I only noticed it when I started to stick to the floor (rug) and of course upon investigation saw both of my rubber flip flops were stained on the bottom..in the evening twilight I could not find the original culprit, but eventually did and wound up throwing away a small bath rug which had been on the floor. It was dark blue. I think I have to remove all the bathroom rugs and let the white tiled floor stay bare, at least I can see what I'm stepping in.
I scrubbed my slippers, the floor, and checked if there was any on Mom's slippers ..no ...and looked in the bedroom for any 'evidence' and finally had to tell her what I'm doing.
"I stepped into some poop in the bathroom."
" Oh, I washed out a pair of underpants."
(Gee, thanks, right in the same sink where we both have to brush our teeth.)
"So where are they? Nothing hanging over the tub."
" Oh I took them into the bedroom to dry .."
I went to look for them but they are nowhere to be found. Chances are they are still poopy.
I suggested throwaway underwear. Mom said NO. it was only an ACCIDENT.
I have already told you how she often has 'something' in her pants, and now for the 4th or 5th time, it 'escaped' onto the floor. I hate this. It smells, and is so unsanitary. Mom used to be super clean. This imposter is now going too far!
Mom saw me cleaning up and obviusly upset, and said "it's time for me to check out." I said "oh stop it, that's no way to think."
Now we are both quiet and I am venting on you ..sorry.
Another day of Dementia care. Yes, I am going to buy her some Depends. See how it works. I'll tell her wear them and throw them out as soon as anything appears, but WASH yourself too!
How long will she remember that?
My sister sent back about 20 pairs of underpants. No bizarre behavior indeed!
Sorry this is such a yucky sbject. What can be done??
So much of what you're dealing with, I escaped because Mom was in assisted living by the time things were so bad and the aides there dealt with her accidents. She'd bought the "light days" pads for herself, but they were completely inadequate by the time she visited us for Christmas, 2001. I bought her Depends then and she never was back in regular underwear. She was pleased to be dry, so maybe your Mom will be, too. Hope so!
I have FLATLY refused to assist in MIL's hygiene. I put my foot down early in the peace and said "I ain't doin' nappys" ... I really COULDN'T do that ... my stomach heaves at the best of times .... I would MUCH rather a pus filled wound that poop or pee .....
Martha I feel for you. FOr the past few months my mom has been 'messing up' her underpants, along with the bathmat, floor and so forth. Until last week I THOUGHT it was diahrrea but now know that she just can't seem to control her bowels so she never makes it to the bathroom in time.
I HAD to go to Wal Mart last week to buy some groceries, I live in a small town where groceries are very high so like to go to WM every now and then. While I was there I got her a package of the depends underwear thinking maybe she'd get PO'd and agree to go to the doctor about her problem but instead she thanked me LOL.
I've also hollered loud enough now that we have a docotrs appointment this MOnday so we can talk to the doctor about upping or changing her meds. Just yesterday she started talking about one of grandsons and ended with "I wonder what he's up to now, I haven't seen him for a long time?" That grandson was killed in an auto accident about 4 years ago.
This whole thing is so scary! I'm so afraid that I will eventually be my mom and I have to wonder if ANY of my kids would do for me what I do for my mom.
Unfortunately, I have experience with this subject. Dad occasionally poops his underwear. Not big poops usually but still disgusting. He usually takes them off and throws them on his bedroom floor where I collect them when I can sneak in there. I put the rubber gloves on and rinse them really well in hot water. Then I prewash them in hot water with bleach and then do a load of his underwear and socks whether I need to or not. And then, of course, I scrub the sink and check his bedroom for, well, you know.
It's a really disgusting thing, I know. I do have a throw rug in the bathroom because in the winter, the floor is VERY cold and I don't want dad to slip coming out of the shower. But my rug is rose color so I can spot anything that shouldn't be there. It's a rug that can be washed so I vacuum it and take it to the laundromat often.
Martha, I'm so sorry to hear your mom is ill. I lost my mom four years ago. And I would give anything to have her back. My Mom was a very proud and private lady. I'll never forget the time I had taking her shopping to the grocery store. (Publix) and we were down at the ile for womens personal stuff and said to her, mom did you get any diapers depends or do you want me to get them for you. Well you would have thought I had called her a filthy name or something like that. She reemed me for days about that. Was so mad at me. LOL Try to be patient with her. Trust me I know that can be hard some days. And by the way my Mom never would put one of those things on her. Never got that far, she passed from a stroke in her sleep, I think the lord above new my mom all to well. I will say prayers for you and your mom and I'm here if you want to talk. Hope I helped out some.
I just 'lost' a long message. I hate it when that happens.
Cindy's poem made me feel guilty and sad for being so disgusted last night ... but this is one aspect of Eldercare that I can't deal with. I love her ..(paradox) but at times can't stand being in the same room. Mother Theresa I am not.
I am afraid to speak to my brother about it for fear they will not want Mom with them any more. But that can't be, they know her Mom used to use the garage floor!
I have a particularly sensitive stomach, and need to throw up when I feel nauseated, so this only adds to the horror of this situation. I will try the depends ..and pray she will accept them.
If not, well it's only just under 10 weeks now ... to my escape date!
Thank you Blueeyedk .. it is very nice of you to come back and offer me help after all this time. How old did your Mom get to be? I am sure I will miss Mom when she is gone, and remember all the good times and not only the hassles. My experience has also taught me somehting else: when I get that old, I want to be in a facility, not at home with my daughter or other relatives. I want them to live their own lives and not be brdened with mine. I hope I never get AD, I hope I die before that!
Update: I transferred a runner from my room to the bathroom, the white tiles alone were much too cold. This rug is light blue and beige. I can't really see bying new stuff for only 2 months.
I got the Depends, actually a store brand much cheaper. I showed them to Mom and explained how to use them. No tabs, not diapers, just pull on like regular undies. If they get soiled, throw them away, and use a new one from the shelf right here behind the toilet.
"Oh I know all about them. I had them before."
"Not since I've been here, 5 years today." ..(yes, today in 2000 was the beginning of my new life )
"I had them before I went to Ohio."
"You did? I never saw any."
"No, I had them when I was IN Ohio!"
OHO??? Did Elsie have her in Depends and told me nothing, and sent her home with 30 pairs of new cotton underpants? What's going on here?
Anyway, Mom seems OK with the idea, but was already dressed for the day before I returned and I doubt if she will change into a pair now.
It's a nice day, so I'll take her out to lunch, making it a fairly long walk, maybe to the Irish Pub we like so much.
Hahaha......Elsie didn't think the "secret" would come out? Well if that isn't validation, I don't know what is!
you want to know something strange? Dad complained of being constipated a few months ago. I believed he was because he was complaining of his stomach hurting. The doctor rx'd Docusate stool softener. Since he's been taking that, he has LESS accidents. Weird, huh?
Oh, and he used to use the bathroom in the garage too. He stopped since I told him he could knock on the bathroom door whenever someone was in there. I'm surprised that worked!
Btw, I never found out where he was going to the bathroom at in the garage. YUK! I'm hoping it wasn't on my furniture I have stored in there. He keeps a large old mop (industrial kind) in the garage. I think he was peeing on that. I've had to put that in a bucket of bleach water quite a few times. He claims it was the dog. And he won't let me throw it out! That's why I bought one of those Swiffer things. No mops in the house!
I too am expeincing the same behavior from my mom. I bought her the pullup style protective briefs and she is wearing them since they are like undies.She didn't like the standard tape on ones. I still find "poop" on the toilet seat.and evidence that she tried to clean up. It has gotten less messy since we got an elevated toilet seat for her. It seemed that when she would be squatting down to sit on the toilet all would let loose. Now that it is less of a distance to sit she makes it more often.