I know most or all of you already have experience with this, but for us it is new. Mom has mixed up names before, and even I do it sometimes, but today for the first time she misnamed a common object.
I can't find my glasses, she said ...No problem. I will help you look.
Searched a bit and there they were , on the kitchen table.
No not that. I am missing my ... hesitation .. my .... ..then "KEYS." Keys? Your keys are right here under the lamp where they always are, but you don't need them. I was home, and we aren't going anywhere, Bill is coming over with dinner he cooked!
Mom looks confused. I meant KEYS. That's OK, You meant keys, but you said glasses. No big deal. No, that's this problem I have, I am all mixed up.
Don't worry you will be OK...There will always be someone with you to help you when you get confused. You will not be alone. Don't worry.
But she is worried.
Mom was taken to church again and I spent 3 hours cleaning and sorting out 'stuff, ' hers and mine. What a pain on such a lovely day! I went down to sit on the stoop and wait for her, so I got 15 minutes of sunshine. I am glad Mom went out, and the church gave her a large bunch of ***** (the word for this common Spring plant seems to have been deleted, how strange!!) willows, and they also had coffee and cake.
Now waiting for Bill, who is bringing Sunday Lunch over.. we say Breakfast, dinner (if it's a hot meal, otherwise lunch) and supper. Nevwr 'dinner ' for the evening meal. Is htis a NY thing or a German thing? Other people say breakfast, lunch and dinner ..
Love,
Martha
Last edited by Martha H; 04-17-2005 at 10:46 AM.
Reason: word deleted, why??
That must have been very scary for your mom-and you too. I know you hoped that it would never get that bad for her. Hopefully, this was just an isolated incident.
You handled it very well. You acknoledged her feelings and reassured her that she need not worry.
In the south, they call lunch dinner too. That used to confuse me when my parents took us to Alabama to visit my grandma. At home in Illinois, we always called supper dinner and lunch lunch.
It's hot here today. It's supposed to be 80. But this house feels hotter than you know what!
Oh, honey, I know about the concern over lost words. Mom was so dismayed and upset as she went through this. You did handle the situation with your mother very well. Again, it's sad, but true that it will get worse until there is no dismay, just less talking. If you think it's important, keep a record of word lost, substituted word, and date.
Will your mother's favorite music distract her from her worries? If so, maybe that's a method of helping her not worry. How nice of Bill to bring a meal, be it dinner or supper, or tea!! Bill's visit will be a good distraction for your mother.
The words deleted here are a mystery to me. Mom's name was Dorothy and the nickname for that was deleted here. Go figure.
Today is just beautiful in Virginia and we have the windows open. The lilacs are blooming and the air is perfumed. Delightful!! Barb, open your windows for a little while. Then at least the air in the house will be fresh air that takes a while to heat up.
We did have a lovely time with Bill. he took time out of his busy life to cook a meal for us, roast beef and mashed potatoes, and I supplied red cabbage and lemon bundt cake. We sat around and talked for hours. Anna had her book club today.
Bill in his usual way said all the right things. Mom said she is not happy about the move. He said you know I feel the same way. I hate to leave my house of 34 years. But Anna wants to be the baby sitter, when In. goes back to work, and she hates to drive on the busy highways, so she would wind up staying out there for 5 days a week. I would never see my wife OR my grandchild .. so I feel I HAVE to move. Then there are so many good things too about the new house. Walking distance to stores, walking distance to the countryside.
One extra room! If you had come to our house in Queens, you would have had the room Anna now uses as her office. The new house has an extra room so she has her offfice AND you have your room!
It's only 6 blocks from Fr and I's swimming pool ..all summer you can swim every day!
I will take walks with you and show you how to get everywhere until you get the hang of it .(of course an aide will be employed to go with her ) ..and IF you are willing you can help me unpack all our stuff, dishes, etc.
I asked her if she would like to go through her clothes with me one day and donate stuff to GoodWill ..and she was very negative. "I already gave things to the church for their bazaar" (that was 5 yrs ago) so Bill said "the closet in your room is huge! You will get all your things into it easily!"
He is so good, he should have been a psychologist. Well in a way he was, 32 yrs teaching in Brooklyn, 6 of them as Dean of Students ...
It was a good day and I am feeling happier. Mom had a few lapses, didn't follow the conversation, mentioned again that 'when I move to your house in Elmhurst - where it isn't - but where her brother lived until 1972 ...but he overplayed all of it with small talk and never corrected anything...
I am glad he is on my team! Elsie did not answer or send a check.
Love,
Martha
Last edited by Martha H; 04-17-2005 at 02:22 PM.
Reason: sp
I lived in Elmhurst, too, from 1962 until 1969. Small world! Where did your uncle live? I lived near the intersection of York and Butterfield Rds. I graduated from York HS and had a part time job at Elmhurst Hospital briefly while in high school.
So glad that you had a good time with Bill. He sounds like a gem! How very kind of him to be so sweet to mother and try to make the upcoming events a positive experience for her.
Do you think it would be easier for her to move if she left the apartment and went to visit Bill in the new house, then her belongings just appear in her room there while she's out swimming or something?? She'd never actually have the sad experience of leaving her home for the last time. It would be sneaky, but might be kinder, and it would take a really coordinated effort. I think she would not be distressed as long.
So sorry Moooo is acting like a toad. Ribbit. With her it seems like money is everything. Wonder if her husband knows she's quit paying her tiny share? Might they be having money troubles? What a shame.
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