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Hi, Shmoo06. I don't know whether I'll be able to help much, but I'll sure try. I have kids who are now 17 and 19 (and one who is younger), who also have a Dad with Alzheimers. You have some experience with the disease, so you know more than most kids about what the diagnosis means. Keep in mind that your family is probably somewhat in shock, but that you'll have months and maybe years to get everything organized.

I can tell you that my husband's drivers' license was pulled pretty soon after he was diagnosed. His Doctor reported him to the Department of Transportation, and he got a notice that he had to give it up. We had a few months to make other plans (at the time, even with Alzheimers, he was a good driver too! Better than our oldest, who had just turned 17!) My husband was very unhappy about giving up driving, and we paid a few hundred dollars to go to a specialty hospital which would test to see if he could drive. The tests were a real eye-opener. He missed 5 out of 10 street signs, and couldn't multi-task (for example, he could watch the road but couldn't process something like a kid on a bike at the side of the road). Having someone in the car with your Dad is a good thing, but eventually he's going to need to stop driving. Our 17-yr old started driving the family more & more, and it has made a huge difference to be able to rely on him.

Social security disability payments require that your Dad be unable to work for a full six months before he is eligible. He may have disability insurance at work with other benefits. Your Mom and he will be reviewing their financial situation, but you may find that your family needs to change spending habits to plan for the day when your Dad can't work. I gave my older teens information about our situation, although my 17-yr old doesn't want to know much -- he wants his life pre-Alzheimers' back too.

Teenagers can be tough under the best of circumstances. Since my kids can't be grouchy with their Dad, I get some extra grouchiness when I'm feeling pretty crummy myself (although i have to be the cheerful, strong one for everyone). On behalf of Mom-Caregivers, please be nice to your Mom!!

We are now two years' into the disease, and our kids still have their Dad. Our 19-yr old is going off to college this year, and our 17 yr old will be picking up more of the driving, grocery shopping, and other chores. Our kids will check to see if their Dad has had lunch when they get home from school, and help him have as normal a life as possible. He is changing, but you know about that part of it. Our kids have had to grow up a little faster than other kids, and I know they're sorry for themselves. My usual line is that single parent-families have had to do this stuff for years, and we can do it too (I reminded myself of that as I struggled to change a windshield wiper, and felt like a total dunce -- I have a single 54-yr old friend who's been doing this for years). You WILL become more capable and stronger than you ever thought possible. Your life is still just beginning, and you are not alone in this situation.

Our kids are worried about "catching" it too, although they don't talk much about it to me. When the oldest went with us for his Dad's annual MME (memory test/evaluation), the Doctor told him that even if he might be at a greater risk for developing it in the future, he was still more than 30 years' away from having to worry. in 30+ years, with all the research that is being done, it is very probable that this disease will be cured or the medications will be very effective. In the meantime, the Doctor said that it was like any other disease that runs in families, whether cancer, heart disease, diabetis, etc. He said you live a healthy lifestyle, and plan on being sensitive to the symptoms when you reach an age where the disease may occur.

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