angel_bear

Welcome MHAD .. first of all, sorry you have to be here, but at least you are amongst understand and friendly people. We have ALL been in your situation, of course in various forms, and, above all, remember, you are NOT alone OK?

Depending on what TYPE of Dementia your Dad has, his increasing violence could be because of that. Not that he WANTS to hit out and hurt people, but that's his frustration and his only form of communication. He's making DAMN sure, everybody knows he's not happy. Why? That's irrelevant in his world. He just knows he's not happy, but he DOES know how to get his point across.

Here in australia, we call it "chemical restraints" which is where they are medicated to levels where they are controllable. No, it's not done for everybody, because we all have our good and bad days, but it is done for the chronic violence. It has to be, for the Occupational Health and Safety Standards of the Residence for their staff, and for your Dad's safety as well. He could well hit out at something and hurt himself badly.

Maybe he is becoming tolerant to his antidepressant and needs a higher dose or a complete change in medication. My MIL was on Zoloft for 3 days and refused to take it (tummy ache) perhaps your Dad has a tummy ache and doesn't know how to express it, so he feels something is 'wrong' and he's frustrated and hits out. Perhaps he has an ulcer under a denture, can't explain it or even understand it, but eating hurts. His way of communication? Yep, you got it, hitting out. The nursing home MUST look at other avenues, especially if he has been a quiet patient before hand. He could be visiting other peoples rooms and taking THEIR medications!! (It's not unheard of) which means he could have a chemical imbalance.

Now, your all going to think I'm going loopy myself, but a full moon DEFINATELY does something to the dementia patient. My FIL's nursing home goes into immediate lock-down 2 days before a full moon and 3 days after. The Dementia residents go absolutely nutty. (This is, of course, killing FIL, who has almost all his faculties LOL -but he's another story). Having talked to nurses, doctors and staff at various nursing homes over the past few weeks, the moons phase has noticeable issues with their charges.

And .. by all means, if he hits out at you, say very firmly in a strong voice 'DO NOT HIT ME' .. do the voice, the facial expression and the body language. You will eventually get it down to a sharp "Ah" and he will (might) back down. Then again, if he's determined to hit, just make sure your out of range (this comes from me, having been hit, I have learnt to duck and weave and stand a respectful distance if it's going to even remotely happen) This isn't to say that you didn't handle the situation wrongly, you went with what you thought best. I don't know your Dad, but I would try being firm if it happens with you again. It can't hurt, you can only do your best, and that, my dear new friend, is what you are doing. Your best. Nobody can ask anymore of you than that.

Ugly? Yes
Will it improve? Probably not
What can you do? Learn coping skills from us
Choices? Not many, but I do emphasise pro-active communication with the residence and forcefullness on your Dad's wellbeing.

Goodluck, do let us know how you get on

Hugs
Sally