Much More Than Angry!!!! - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

LuvMyLilDoggie · 08-17-2005, 06:03 PM

I called R today and here's what I got.

Dad's worse these past few days. He's got the impression that because my dh bought a new pickup truck (he did) and paid cash for it (he did not), my husband has sold dad's house right out from under him (of course he didn't). Why the #^&* does she have to tell me these things? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!!! I LIVE IT WHEN HE'S HERE!!!!

R says dad's getting worse. I can't help but think that's because of his tooth being pulled a few days ago. That plus the fact that B is down there and dad can't stand him. Dad always feels like he has to be on guard 24/7 because of B's past stealing from dad and anyone else he could.

B (my brother who is visiting my sister) has taken it upon himself to rearrange all of dad's doctor's appointments that I set up. And the MRI that I had scheduled for two weeks prior to the neurologist because the neurologist needs to see the results of the MRI? Dear brother B scheduled it for two hours AFTER the neurologist appt. What an A$$!!! This jerk never even cares to call dad on his birthday or Christmas. He lived no more than 40 miles from dad for 7 years and never ONCE attempted to see him! Oh except for when he got kicked out of where he was mooching! RRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If B thinks he can do better than I can with dad, then he damn well better step up and DO IT!!!! I'll gladly weldome the help he doesn't intend to give....

Like I said before-I know the world has to have some idiots. But do I always have to be surrounded by them???? SHEEEESH!!!!

I'll be better (I hope!) once I get some sleep.

Love, Barb

Martha H · 08-17-2005, 07:19 PM

Yes, Barb, get some sleep. When your sister calls make it really short ..sorry, I
am halfway out the door, I'll call you back - and then don't. She has some nerve telling all this to you ..by now she very well knows that her dad has AD and is not able to remember anything ...

let her and brother B take care of him. Don't get upset if they bungle his appointments. Just let them do it. Their way. Sooner or later it will all work out ..it's not as if he has an acute and curable problem (in my opinion there is nothing at all to be accomplished by MRI and other exams ... unless the person has something ELSE..something fixable. AD isn't.and it will get worse, not better.

Try to relax and enjoy your time before they dump him back on your doorstep!

Love,

Martha

CARAT414 · 08-17-2005, 08:01 PM

I agree with Bosmom, and if you are worried about the ramifications of the doctor not having the correct test results, maybe a phone call to that office with an explantion of what is happening will help. My brothers did kind of the same thing but I called the doctors office expalin the situation to the appt lady and she in turn called my brother under the pretense of reminding him to bring the test results to the appointment. That really helped me alot. My dads doctor was already well aware of some of the issues my brothers were causing and knew I was doing my best.

Barb, I am sure from the sound of your posts that Dad is going to back with you after they figure out that a AD patient is a difficult challenge that most are not capable of handling.

Casey

BarbaraH · 08-17-2005, 10:42 PM

Hi Barb,

Who has the DPOA for your father? If it's you (and I hope so), then your brother cannot legally change beans if it has to do with your Dad. As Carat said, enlist the aid of the doctor's office so time and money isn't wasted. Make sure all the doctors and such have the clear understanding that others in the family are not the caregivers and (if you have DPOA) have no legal standing.

I do agree with Martha that the MRI will be of no help if it's Alzheimers as it seems to be.

Do consider that if your father is really worse, he may not remember he dislikes your brother and why. My mother was never nicer to my DH than after she forgot she didn't like him!

So sorry that your family is causing more problems than they're helping. Hope you can sleep well.

Hugs - Barbara

LuvMyLilDoggie · 08-18-2005, 12:29 PM

The MRI is very important because dad has a meningioma on his brain. The doctor says it's important that we watch it closely. So far it's staying the same size which is good. He wants an MRI every six months. Dealing with the VA isn't easy as far as appointments go. That's why I'm so ticked at B. He knows the VA inside and out. He keeps asking my sister about dad's will which she has never seen. He even comes out and asks how much his share is.

I have POA over dad's medical affairs as well as financial. The problem is I don't know what dad did with the papers that prove it and I don't know what lawyer he used. All I know is the lawyer is in Chicago. I didn't go with him but I signed the papers and they were mailed back to her.

The papers are either in his safe deposit box or his file cabinet which is locked and I don't have a key.

Whatever they do down there, I'll have to rectify when he gets home. That coupled with the fact that he always comes home worse than when he left is going to drive me INSANE!

Calm down, Barb. Calm down........ (idiots they are!!!)

Love, Barb