WannaBeFreeToRoam

Hi everyone,

I was working on getting my mother and father to go and sign DPOAs and 2 Living Will forms, that my attorney showed me, but as of right now, I have given up!!! My sister is going to work on them, still. I said I would help if they needed me when/if they go to sign somewhere else!!

My father (the one with alzheimers) would go along with anything that sounded useful if only my mother would agree to it. But...my mother is another story. I could go on and on about her attitude. She has uncontrolled diabetes and early dementia (prob. a 3). She thinks everyone (including us/her family) is out to take over her life and take all her money, land, and everything that is theirs! Sometimes she eggs me on, and I just yell at her, then she apologizes to me. Other times, I can hold it in and keep helping them and visiting, until I get in my car and drive home. Then the tears start flowing. I am sure part of her behaviour is due to her illnessess. I try to remind myself of that. And part is of her being a full time caregiver for my father. That is why I try to relieve her anytime she wants to go somewhere.

But she is the one that will not hear of any type of home care or cleaning people. She is the one that will not talk about adult day care. I think, right now, she thinks that my father will never need to go anywhere else, but at their home. She does agree that they may need to move sometime, but what she does not realize is, that they will move to 2 different places (Probably in the same town.).

I had been to our lawyer and talked with them and gotten copies of the legal forms and even a price list. I made copies for my sister and my parents. My sister and I each wrote them a letter, very nice and telling them that we love them and only care about their well being. I took it slow, more that 6 weeks. I would talk just a few minutes and show the forms every week. I even added up the amount of $ that they would need to pay (which was less that $500.) I even said we were going to get our will changed and get living wills done too.

Well, last Tuesday, she just flat out said that she was not going to do it with our lawyer and part was because of the $. She said that she would get some forms (free) and do it theirselves. I told her (without crying and yelling) that they will end up spending "Thousands of Dollars" more, because she would not do it now. And I also told her, that her way would probably not be legal. My poor little daddy just sits there and listens and only knows part of what is going on. He would not say, to do most things that my mother is against. I think that he knows that she takes the most care of him, and does not want to bite the hand that feeds him. The fact is she will most likely, never get anything accomplished, unless my sister can talk her into it. So...

Ok, now for the Helpful Information: I cooled down a little and am still doing some behind the scenes looking and researching. I called the Houston area Alzheimers Assoc. They were really helpful and I am sure I will call them back some more in the future. They are sending me a copy of what info. they have on alzheimers places in stay. They gave me the tele. # of the Houston Bar Assoc. too. I called them and they sent me a Elder Law Booklet. I had to send a SASE (8x10 manilla envelope with $1.85 postage on it) and a note telling what I wanted (the Elder Law Booklet). Well, I received in 2 days and read most of it.

Boy did that booklet really answer a lot of my questions!!! I think that I will get my sister to get one and read it. I do not know if it would help to get one sent to my parents. Might just make my mom upset (more!). So I will leave that up to my Sis. Anyone that does not have an Elder Law Attorney, should write off for their citys Elder Law Booklet (or the closest biggest City).
It really helps and will help in the future. Go for it ladies! :>

Thanks for listening to my BIG BOOK. Yall Take Care. Wannabe