I feel like the only place I can complain is here .. please forgive me if I get annoying ok?
Today was uneventful .. took MIL to see FIL today. Advised FIL that I may have a job in queensland. He wasn't very vocal about that. Fast forward .. BIL took FIL to the doctor this afternoon. MIL leapt in the car, she was going too!! Good thing she did too! They managed to get her seen by the nurse, who discovered a HUGE UTI! (Urinary Tract Infection) .. ah HA !!! She didn't have one last week when I rushed her to the hospital .. but it must've been coming ... GOOD .. now she's on antibiotics .. all we've gotta do is convince her she has to take them.... that'll be another story .. I can just tell.
Anyway, FIL invited me to the club for a drink, which I took up. After all, I'm supplying him some hot meals for dinner (instead of the offered sandwiches - yuck) .. and we had it sorted that DH would take him back to the nursing home. I would duck home and reheat the food so it would be hot when it got to him, and BIL would follow me and pick it up and take it to FIL while DH got FIL settled.
I tell ya .. it's a circus around here, but it worked. Sent BIL off with FIL's goodies ...
Then I reheated MIL's dinner, and sent Cameron down with it, only to have him wander back upstairs saying he couldn't find Nanna.
$HIT!! Where has she gone NOW??? It's DARK .. it's past 6.30 .. it's cold'ish .. I rang BIL, but his phone was engaged, I rang DH and told him. I leapt in the car and drove to her 'spots' from the last few days .. no MIL. DH and BIL started driving around her other 'spots', I came home and rang the Police.
Ah ha!! They had her! Somebody (?) had brought her into the Police Station. She had been found nearby the police station however. That's a BLOODY LONG WALK !! She had had a fall, and the Police called the Ambulance.
The ambulance guys were the same ones I called last week!!! They checked her out, found a grazed knee, and brought her home. I called BIL, he came over. DH was home by then. We rang FIL and he settled into eating his dinner I had supplied. MIL got out of the ambulance, smiling. The Ambo's told me she was OK.. BP was GOOD (miracles do happen .. must've been all that exercise) she was very wobbly. She had been incontinent AGAIN (but only a little bit -- hurry up samples) they were happy with her however.
Got her inside, just as BIL turned up. He went to her and said "Mum, this isn't working, you can't go out wandering like this, people will get fed up and lock you up"
! What did I say? He's frightened she'll be put away.
Anyway, she got quite angry with him, not enough to hit, but very cross, and as I heated up her dinner, he kept telling her she can't wander out at night like this. I gave her dinner, got her a glass of wine ... oh she's a mess .. a bloody mess. BIL ended up going home
But on the bright side whilst we were at the club, I mentioned we were going away for school holidays. OH !! So Is BIL !! OH !! I offered to get in Meals on Wheels .. NO shout FIL and BIL .. She needs somebody around!!! Get her into respite if you can !!
Ah ha !!
So I'll be hunting THAT down next week, because I'll have to hunt it down becuase NOBODY else will .. but if I can swing it, I will !!!!
Anyway, Like I said, taking extra medication is going to be another story ...... Cameron's just gone downstairs to try and get MIL to take her medication for her UTI .. (she thinks it's for the sun cancers burnt off her hand the other day) and REFUSED. Cameron even suffered Nanna Wrath (not pretty people, not pretty) and came upstairs quite shaken.
Oh .. I am SO looking forward to the weekend .......
Mercy!!!!!!!! What you manage to deal with and be civil about is enough to crush an elephant. Tell all, complain, and/or rant at will!! We're here!
About MIL's UTI, I wonder if it burns and stings as she pees? If so, you might (maybe, perhaps) have success in her taking the antibiotic if you tell her that it will make the burning go away. An untreated or undertreated UTI can get ugly. The UTI may be the culprit in the unwelcome pee messes, too, as MIL cannot manage the urgency. I do think it's another huge step back for MIL to round on Cameron as she's usually been so good and cooperative with his kind methods of dealing with her.
Good that BIL got an eyeful at last, but what archaic place is he imagining with the phrase "lock you up"??? Many of the homes for the dotty are lovely, so being "locked up" is oh-so-pleasant, especially after the sweeties forget to try to get out. Again, I think it's the money he minds being spent. How funny that FIL and BIL have at last got it into their heads that MIL cannot be left alone with Meals on Wheels just bringing food. You have accomplished much in getting their blinders off to that extent, Sally!!
When are school holidays? Is that when you move north over the summer?
What kind of place in FIL in that they don't offer a hot dinner? That isn't good. Hope your efforts to find respite care for MIL will also turn up better accomodations (larger room, fewer stupid rules, and hot meals) for FIL. He'd better hope you can find such a place because I cannot see L taking FIL a hot dinner after you're happily in Queensland!!! Speaking of Queensland, glad the family is on notice!
Good luck this weekend! Hope all is calm and all is bright .... oops, wrong season for that song, but not the wishes !
Oh Sally, it goes from bad to worse. BIL's comments to his mother just point out how far from reality he is: she cannot respond to "don't do that!" She doesn't think about it, she just GOES. He is still trying to reason with her! He has not even read the FIRST article on Alzheimer's Disease or any of the dementias..
I can't believe his training to be an RN did not include this ..but it obviously didn't.
It seems like things are falling apart in this family .. and even worse, I sense that YOU will be blamed for not staying home. Don't let it get you down. You go ahead, on vacation and then the Big Move .. you HAVE to do it for your sake and your kids' sakes ... let the other sons of your in laws step in and do their job for once...
It's amazing what happens to people when MIL keeps ending up at the Police Station! It's been this week that's brought it home (for the moment) with FIL and BIL. And .. having that drink at the club and having 'little jokes' at MIL's expense with 'da boys' was probably the best therapy I did.
Obviously talking to them seriously about my concerns didn't work. So I went along with them and Lo and Behold ... they finally admit there's a problem.
Of course, we've been to this stage once before when I thought they had finally 'got it', so I am hoping to keep the momentum going. I just need ACAT to play along with me!
Ok .. School Rules here in Australia. Our kids get Xmas to the end of January off as Summer Holidays (6-7 weeks). They then get another 2 weeks around April. They then get another 2 weeks in July (3 if your at certain private schools), and another 2 weeks in September/October.
It's the September/October holidays we're going to duck down to Alan's cousins (The Tomato farm) for the week. BIL and "L" are going north to Rockhampton (way high up in Queensland). NOBODY is begrudging us the week away .. GOOD!! All we have to do is figure out how to get some beer to FIL every night, and hope we get a Respite Room for MIL.
Now . . . as for Nursing homes. 98% of them give you a normal average everyday breakfast. You get a hot meal at lunchtime (baked dinner, stews, casseroles, etc) and you get something light for dinner. This is the discrepancy. The NH FIL is in tends to give out sandwiches 3 nights a week (yuck) or a salad (just salad ...) or rubbery poached eggs, or spaghetti or beans on toast. Most of the nursing homes offer something light, but not quite as slack .... this way they are covering diet (we should all eat big at lunchtime, and like a sparrow at dinner time) and they are being cost effective (they only need a chef/cook for 2 hours instead of 4).
It all boils down to money.
Anyway .. today is Saturday. A brand new day .. we shall see what the day unfolds .... I hope one of us can get some antibiotics into MIL or she's REALLY going to be on a first name basis with the Police Force.
You do have your plate full, girl! Lets hope that BIL and FIL finally agree that MIL needs round the clock care. But I just can't help but wonder why you're the one having to make the arrangements. It shouldn't all fall on your shoulders.
Btw, how is your shoulder? Are you still doing all this stuff with the pain you were in? Or has the pain gotten better? I surely hope it has.
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