If in doubt .. DENY DENY DENY !!! - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

angel_bear · 09-25-2005, 04:58 PM

Yes, you heard it here first ....

I just rang the NH .. to get a report of MIL over the weekend. Yes, she was combative and agro, refused to shower, but all in all she was 'exactly what we're used to Sally" ...

And then .... they told me BIL and his daughter went to VISIT MIL yesterday (Sunday).

They were specifically TOLD not to visit until MONDAY .. but apparently the rules don't apply to them for some strange reason .. and then ............

BIL started abusing the staff that his mother DOESN'T have Dementia. It got to the point that he has been refused access to the NH home now.

IDIOT !! IDIOT !! IDIOT !!

MIL was "ok" with their visit, and their departure .. which is just a damn good fluke really ...

So it explains why BIL isn't speaking to me (was curt and rude last night to me) but GOOD GRIEF .. the denial he's in is DANGEROUS !!!!

Friday: he demanded to know WHY ACAT hadn't put his mother in a lock down facility to start with.
Sunday: he's saying she hasn't got dementia.

So if she hasn't got dementia, why did he want her in a lock down facility?

I know denial is par for course, BUT FOR HEAVENS SAKE .. !!!!!!!!

UGH UGH UGH

Had to vent .. have to SCREAM !!!!!!!!!

Hugs
Sally

BarbaraH · 09-25-2005, 06:23 PM

Sally,

That's beyond good reason - you did nail it right on the head -

BIL is a dangerous, manipulative idiot!

Unbelievable, but I guess we should expect it by now. How can he live like that? I hope you'll let ACAT and the NH know what he ranted about on Friday just to show his true colors.

Scream as needed!

How many days is it until your holiday? Oh! tomorrow!!!!!! Hang on!

Hugs - Barbara

LuvMyLilDoggie · 09-25-2005, 06:39 PM

I have very sneaky people in my family so I've kind of learned how that kind of stuff works. It's not denial. I'll bet the house BIL spoke with someone (or they spoke to him) about what would happen if MIL were deemed unsafe enough to herself or others to warrant a lockdown facility. Someone probably told him something to the effect that MIL could not legally come back home if that were to happen. Then the $$$$ signs went flying through BIL's head.

Someone in denial would never argue that she needed to be in lockdown. But someone thinking only of the cost may argue that she didn't.

BIL is as rotten as rotten can be. And I can't help but think that something is wrong with HIM mentally.....

Please enjoy your holiday and don't answer your cell phone if it's BIL or FIL. This is YOUR holiday. HAVE FUN!

Love, Barb

angel_bear · 09-25-2005, 06:50 PM

Ahhhh !!!! Yesss ... that makes more sense .....

Of course .. ACAT want MIL to go to hospital and await placement after this respite (for her safety) ... yes .. it makes sense !!!!

The NH have the phone number of the Tomato Farm and I begged them to keep me informed .. other than that, I don't want to know what's going on .... I just want to know what I'm going to come home to ...

If I come home at all ...

in 24 hours, we will be closer to our holiday and away from this place.

Hugs
Sally

LuvMyLilDoggie · 09-25-2005, 07:35 PM

Oh yes of course. By all means know what you're coming home to. Just tune out the male in-laws!

Love, Barb