Insight - Your people's insights - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

seekingnormal05 · 01-27-2006, 04:06 PM

My Mom has these moments that catch me off guard.

The other day we were visiting and she was, as always, complaining about her driver's license being pulled. I shift the subject and started talking about a time when, very early in her marriage, a storm rolled through and the neighborhood was torn to smithereens by a tornado. Well, a neighbor's chair ended up on their front yard. They just left it sit there as they had no idea who it belonged to. The next evening the owner-- a man they knew and who was otherwise sane -- came, saw the chair and started pitching a fit because Mom and Dad had stolen his chair. He didn't get that it had blown away in the tornado.

Well, Mom was there alone when the guy was throwing his fit. She said "I'd have gotten in the car and driven away except I didn't drive yet."

Then she was quiet for a few seconds and said, "I guess that means I'm back where I started".

I thought that was amazing. That a woman who work the washing machine anymore could have that realization.

So, like the post for humor requests, let me hear your stories about the insight your people have had. I think it helps us remember who they were before this disease got them.

Seeking

BarbaraH · 01-27-2006, 05:10 PM

Interesting thread .....

When my mother had been in an assisted living apartment for a little over 4 months and had forgotten me and how many children she had, her dear 89 year old(er) sister had a car accident then a heart attack or heart attack then car accident while driving herself home from church Bible study. Sweet Connie lingered in ICU on a ventilator for a week, then died. My DH and I were in town to look for a house so we could be close and help Mom and Connie. Instead of being here for 1 week, we stayed 3 weeks because of Connie's condition and then death.

I had told Mom that Connie was hurt and in the hospital. Mom was okay with that and detached. When I came again to tell her that Connie had died, I sat down on the couch with Mom, held her hands and told her that I had sad news, Connie had died. Mom's eyes filled with tears and she squeezed my hands. She said, "Now I'm the only one left." In an effort to stop her from feeling alone, I hurried to say that Mom had me, Rob, the boys, and every other relative I could think of. Mom looked at me like I was nuts and said, "No, Daddy, Mama, Frank, Connie, and me. Now there's just me."
All I could do was to hug her and we cried together.

I wasn't ready for that clarity. Perhaps I wasn't ready for that memory either.

Wishing us all peace - Barbara

...... Interesting, there's no crying emoticon here.

angel_bear · 01-27-2006, 05:15 PM

ahh .. yes .. their amazing spots of insight and clarity ... it sorta throws you .. just when you expect bizarre behaviour and weird moments, they sorta pop back in for a moment .......

My ex-charge 1.5 years ago was trying to write a birthday card to her brother. Now remember, this woman could barely speak legible words, so it was an amazing feat just to understand what she wanted .... but I did 'get it' with lots of gesturing, pointing and slow talking. So, without words, it basically went like this

her: Help
Me: do what?
Her: this card, my brother
Me: do you want some help writing?
Her: Yes
Me: Ok .. (wrote down Happy Birthday T***** love D****)
Her: no no no no no
Me: you cant' write it? You can't copy it?
Her: (points to book, hits self in head) OK !! (points to card and pen) NO NO NO

Understanding: I can read fine, but I can't write anything down! HELP ME !

So I wrote in the card for her, and she was ever so happy and gave me a big hug. It was a HUGE step for her to a) ask for help and b) admit there was a problem.

She never asked again (Christmas cards were scary - lord knows where they ended up because her writing was illegible by then too) nor did she ever admit she had a problem, but that small moment made me realise that they do, indeed, have moments where they know it's all gone wrong somehow.

But I do relish the moments we had together that were pleasant and nice. And I am remembering more good times than bad now, athough if I was asked to step back into the situation I was, I wouldn't ....

Next story !!

Cheers
Sally

Martha H · 01-27-2006, 05:27 PM

My Mom still has amazing moments of clarity. I spoke to her on the phone the day after my daughter injured her shoulder, and told Mom she was taking strong pain killers. (Mostly I talk and talk because Mom's silences make me nervous and I am not sure if she is even clear on who I am ...) Mom said , "Make sure she drinks a lot of water! " Amazing! She was right, and I hadn't even thought of it.

Also, when I told her about all the dental work I have coming up, she said "my mother always said one real tooth is worth a mouthful of dentures." Again, amazing. Her mother died in 1956, (OMG that was 50 years ago in February!!! Gasp! I was 16!) not even 70 years old and had full dentures ... Mom remembered that .. but often is very unsure who her children and grandchildren are, and very fuzzy on the great grandkids ...

It will be a sad day when she forgets her mother.

Maybe she never will.

Love,

Martha

barbaric_yawp · 01-27-2006, 05:55 PM

Last time I talked to my mom on the phone, I told her some stories about what I had been up to, some were really funny and we were laughing like crazy. Before I got off she said "thanks for letting me ride around in your pocket for awhile.." I knew what she meant :-)