My mom (Dementia and Uncontrolled Diabetes) - Help! - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

WannaBeFreeToRoam · 02-25-2006, 11:50 AM

Hi Everyone,

I hope that some of yall can give me advice, answers, hope or anything!!!??? :<

I know I am repeating myself, but here goes. My dad has Alzheimers and Parkinsons and my mom has dementia and uncontrolled diabetes. They are both in their late 70s and live by theirselves in their home.

For the last week, my mom has been sick. Either the flu or ??? My dad is sort of in a sensible plateau right now. Meaning he can act normal a lot of the time. They are both on 10 mg. aricept - among other meds, but my mom will not take her Aricept. Or her cholersterol meds, maybe a few other meds. She takes her diabetes pills most of the time. Hence the uncontrolled diabetes (and only tests her blood 2 - 3 times per week.

So... My mom has been throwing up and having diahrea. My dad tried to get her to go to the dr. or the hospital, but she would not. He did get her to call me a couple of time and he also got her to start testing her blood 1 x day, at least. But, I think that she no longer does that since she thinks that she is all well. What she does not know is that she has probably injured her liver, among other body parts, like kidneys!

Anyway, her blood sugar got down to 20, when normal is about 80. And most of the time she is around 115 when she takes her meds and does not eat too many carbs! She was listless, tired, no energy, you name it. My dad asked her what to do if she got worse. She told him to call 911. And I told him to call 911 and then me!!! Anyway, yall know my moms history - does not like to go to the dr. or hospital.

Any ideas about what I can do to make her and make her want to go to the dr. more, especially when she is sick?! The diabetes board, just tells me to get her some medical help. Well, I cannot just drag her down there!!! I did call her dr. office and they said they could not help her over the phone! I also told them not to tell her that I called them.

I know that it is a little off track, but I really need some help and so do my mom and dad, whether they know it or not!!!

Thanks in advance.

Love, Wannabe

victorino545 · 02-25-2006, 12:49 PM

Sorry to hear about your problem with mom. I haven't experienced this but was thinking of a couple of things. One, could you maybe talk to the doctor and find our if he could give her something like a anti-anxiety pill to calm her down or could you maybe tell her that the doctor called and they have something new that they might be able to treat her diabetes and want to see her. You are in a hard situation, and so is the medical field if she refuses treatment. It is sad that she is willing to wait until it turns into an emergency situation before she will seek help. But if all else fails and you do what you can, it is really up to her to be willing to get help. Please don't be to hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. Hang in there and my prayers are with you.
Diane

Martha H · 02-25-2006, 01:05 PM

Dear Wannabe .

You are doing your best in an impossible situation. Your Mom must go to the doctor. Dehydration plus diabetes is very dangerous. She cannot be exected to know that she is in danger, since she is not able to think straight. Your Dad may also not be mentally fit enough to make such decisions.

I would advise him to call 911 against her wishes, or get someone to take her to the ER NOW! and when they get there, tell them she has Alzheimer's and diabetes and diarrhea ... she needs a complete workup at the hospital, blood tests etc. It could save her life.

Maybe it is time now to get her somewhere where she will NOT test 3 times a week but will be tested by a professional several times a day ..like a good nursing home. It is hard for you and for your dad, but it is highest time to get her to safety. On their own they are not providing maximal care for her as a diabetic. Please get some help ... sooner rather than later.

How will you feel if Mom does not survive this gastro enteritis .. how will Dad feel? Not wanting to alarm you ..but it sounds really serious to me .

Lots of love and prayers,

Martha

BarbaraH · 02-25-2006, 01:12 PM

Hi Wanna,

YIKES!!! A blood sugar of 20 is very dangerous to life and can make people lose consciousness. It's as dangerous as a very high blood sugar. Vomiting and diarrhea can make diabetes difficult to control for healthy people. Your mother may need to be in the hospital just to get things straight, stop the vomiting, and get her hydrated.

You have to hope that your father is still doing the blood test correctly, too. Can you drive over there and do the test yourself? If not, call and find if your mother is awake and what her blood sugar is now. If it's still well below 80, call an ambulance and tell them about the AD and blood sugar and your mother's recent illness. Call your father and prepare him to open the door for the medics.

Sadly, there is no way to reason with an AD patient. At best, you might trick them into getting in the car and you take them to the doctor. Sounds like your mother may just be too sick and weak for that just now.

Hope all is well - Barbara

Sandyspen · 02-25-2006, 03:54 PM

Wannabe,
What you know about your parent's circumstances scares you, I can tell you, what you DON'T know would terrify you!

I thought my mom was about like yours, as far as dementia. 3 times in one month I called 911 and had them take her to the hospital because I lived 30 minutes away and she was sobbing with unbearable stomach pains. Each time, they found nothing wrong and I was thoroughly frustrated with her.

Soon after, I took her into my home and was apalled! at what I didn't know. She no longer knew how to cook (reason for stomach pain---hunger), she did not take showers, she did not know day, date, time of day. She didn't take any of her pills, though she always told me she took them. She couldn't write a check, read the paper or make sense of any TV show other than Bob Barker.

I visited her once a week and knew none of this. They are good at fooling you! But I can tell you, if you're worried now, there is much more to worry about.

I would call 911 and have them pick her up! Then send her to a hospital nearer to you. You can meet them there.

I know how you feel. I was in the same spot. Mom seemed to cope well, I thought. But, believe me, with dementia, they aren't really coping. They are just making you "believe" they are coping.

You've been doing the best you can with what they're telling you. But they do need you to step-in now and make some changes for them. It's hard, I know. It was hard for me. My mom swears there is nothing wrong with her and no reason she can't go home.

Sometimes, though, you just have to do it anyway.
We're thinking about you! and here to help!