Meds and questions...... - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Sandyspen · 02-26-2006, 06:14 AM

Mom has been in the AFH for 1 week. The first couple days she was settling in pretty well, I thought. Then her emotions started going up and down like a roller coaster.

From day 1, we were trying to get her more/different medication. Zoloft was no longer working for her anxiety. That's a different story, but finally yesterday her doctor called in new meds. I'm not even sure what they are yet. The AFH picked them up and started them last night.

Progressively, she's called me more and more often. Yesterday she called 4 times; telling me her bags were packed, cussing and ranting that I have to take her home, she's fine, has no problems.

I visit every morning for 2 hours, yet she never remembers that I've been there. I took her crochet and coloring books one day and she called as soon as I got home saying, 'how could I bring her things and drop them off without even saying hello to her.' I was there for 2 hours!

While I was there yesterday, it was just stunning. She was angry and ranting about what a horrible place it was, how awful they treated her, the manager yelled at her and the staff stole from her. I swear, in the middle of this tirade she turned around and her face softened and she went into a litany of praise. They were the sweetest people, her room was great, the people were great, she loved the food, they gave snacks constantly.

I was just shocked, how quickly this rage comes and goes. It's almost like she has no control of her thoughts or words at all.

My question is.......will this continue or will the new meds help. She honestly believes that if she goes home, her life will be as it was 10 years ago. Everything will be back to normal. She just needs to go home.

I've warned my brothers, but when they hear this sobbing, reasoning, I wonder if they'll believe her. They haven't seen the rages, like I have.

Do we have to just wait this raging out....or do meds help....will she eventually adjust to this place. Even the AFH says she absolutely refuses to shower. I thought they'd cajole her into it, but she won't.

Another week with no shower. Sheezzzzzzz........

I can't wait to go see her this morning, oh I hope these meds have made some difference.

Martha H · 02-26-2006, 06:28 AM

Dear Sandy,

Meds will help. She will improve, she will let them shower her. Meds take time to kick in. Hang in there. You did the right thing. No second thoughts. Do NOT take her home!
Good luck! We're all rooting for you!

Love,
Martha

Sandyspen · 02-26-2006, 07:13 AM

Oh thank you thank you, Martha.

I think I just had to hear someone say the meds would work. Zoloft is just useless now, at least her dose. The doc did say that we would see a marked improvement over the next 2 weeks. Oh, I hope so. All the other ladies are so sweet. They roll their walkers back to her room and try to talk to her all day long. If she'd just give a little, she'd like them.

I swear, I jump everytime the phone rings.

BarbaraH · 02-26-2006, 12:20 PM

Sandy,

I 2nd everything Martha said. You know full well that bringing your mother to your home would start that awful merry-go-round again and if you took her to her home, the dangers would be incomprehensible. Your mother's brain is just fixated on "home", as my mother's was. I just told my mother that some really messy repairs were being done and she could go home when that work was finished. I told her a water pipe had flooded everything. I used that same excuse for weeks and then Mom forgot to be unhappy.

Say what you need to so your mother is relunctantly willing to stay. Your car has a flat, you have a meeting, you have to take the dog to the vet, whatever! She won't know you didn't come, that she didn't go home for a visit, or not. Sad, but true.

Don't back down. Your mother is where she needs to be. Whew!!!!

(((hugs))) Barbara

LuvMyLilDoggie · 02-26-2006, 12:23 PM

Sandy, I hate to say this but maybe it would be best for your mom if you cut off contact with her-at least for a few days or a week. No visiting or talking on the phone. I've heard from many people that it seems to be better for the AD person to adjust to NH's and such if there's no contact at first. Of course I don't know because I'm not in that situation myself yet. But that may be something you want to ask G about.

I hope your mom adjusts well to the new meds (and quickly too).

My dad does the same thing with not showering. What a PAIN! And STINK! He doesn't think he needs a shower EVER! But when he was with me, I used to tell him "Ok dad. We're going to the grocery store in a little while. Time for your shower". If I ever asked him to get in the shower, that left room for him to decide if he was going to or not.

That scheme worked for my sister until recently. He won't shower for her now so I doubt if he would shower for me. But he will shower for my sister's husband if he tells him he's going to take him somewhere.

Go figure. Sometimes I think this awful disease confuses me as much as him.

Love, Barb