Faking it - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Martha H · 02-26-2006, 11:12 AM

Hi Caregivers!

Isn't it interesting how AD patients can pretend to be OK.

I had a conversation this morning with a new friend who also took care of her AD parent for many years. She told me her father used to keep any conversation on a neutral level: ex: "isn't it beautiful how the blue in the wallpaper picks up the blue in the rug."

Now anyone hearing this will think,' wow, sharp as a tack!'

But he neither knew his own name nor that this was his daughter he was speaking to.

He wound up in an NH too, as usual, and died there at a very old age.

Another person - who works for a doctor - told me that in this state, Medicaid is retroactive to the day you first became eligible. So if it is the same in NY, if Mom gets onto it late, the NH bills from April will still be paid by them, only late. She told me do not pay anything with your own money. You will never get that back.

I enjoy having the support of many people in my new church who have 'been there, done that' with Alzheimer's disease. I am meeting more and more of them (us). This disease seems to be very widespread. How sad!

I'm sure you can all come up with examples of how your loved one fooled the public! My Mom, when asked what she had for lunch, would make up a delicious menu. For the last few months of her stay at home with me, she always said chicken, boiled potatoes, salad, cake, and juice. EVERY day. The Center printed a daily menu on their monthly calendar. Once I said, 'but it says here 'corned beef."' No no, that was YESTERDAY! she triumphed .. 'they never stick to their own plan." It all sounded so logical, except I knew it was all made up, her attempt to APPEAR normal as her memory got worse and worse.

I'd love to read some of your experiences along this line.

Love,

Martha

Sandyspen · 02-26-2006, 11:34 AM

Great Topic Martha!

When we took Mom's car away, we told her that she didn't have a drivers license anymore. She said, "OH, it doesn't matter. I spoke to a friend who works for DMV and he says that I've had one for so long, I don't need one to drive anymore."

Recently, she was complaining about her missing car again and told me that 'after we took her car away, she drove all the other people's cars who lived in her adult-community. They all thought she was a delightful driver and couldn't understand why her evil children took her car.' (Now, these are the same people who called me daily about her inability to care for herself.)

LuvMyLilDoggie · 02-26-2006, 12:03 PM

My dad once took his car and left my sister's house in a rage saying that he was going home. After 12 hours and calling back and forth and calling state police from Alabama to Illinois, dad showed up at my sister's doorstep, right where he started 12 hours earlier.

When asked where he'd been, he said "I just went for a ride". When told that he had been gone for twelve hours and that he'd scared us all half to death, he said "I was going to come home but I decided to go back when I got to Nashville." When told that Nashville is only a 3-3 1/2 hour drive from my sister's house and that it would only have taken 6, possibly 7 hours to go there and back, he said "But I stopped there to eat". When told that still didn't account for the 5-6 hours that were a mystery, he said "I went sightseeing and to the Grand Ole Opry". The Grand Ole Opry was closed at that time so there was no way he could have been there but it sounded really convincing. I mean he had a johnny on the spot answer for every question we asked.

To this day we don't know where he was or what he was doing. We're just grateful that nothing serious happened to him or anyone else during the unaccounable 12 hour mystery.

Love, Barb

BarbaraH · 02-26-2006, 12:12 PM

We noticed that my mother would comment on anything she could see and identify or read. That was happening even before she forgot so much that we were aware of her AD.

It is scary!

Cheers! Barbara

janeslk · 02-26-2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbaraH

We noticed that my mother would comment on anything she could see and identify or read. That was happening even before she forgot so much that we were aware of her AD.

It is scary!

Cheers! Barbara

Barbara, I am wondering when my FIL will no longer be able to read or write. He can still read and he can write. However, he was asked to write his name the other day and he wrote a first name that was different than his own. He got the last name right, however.

Jane