| Re: Help w/ Dads aggresive behavoir
Martha is right .. the stories a dementia patient hands out aren't factual or correct a lot of the time. Don't believe everything they say ... it's such a shame, because we WANT to believe them!! Of course, if there is a witness (staff worker) who saw the events, then that's a whole other thing!
The people looking after your parents are, hopefully, professionals. There is a settling in period where, if the behaviour is too rampant, calming medications may be ordered. Sometimes these are long term, sometimes they are short term, but hopefully the professionals know how to tweak the med's to suit the patient. Sometimes family visits upset them too, especially in the first few weeks, so perhaps you could limit your visits and ring the staff for a quick run down on what's happening.
A lock down facility here in Australia means they can't leave the building without a carer. They still have full use of the facilities inside with activities and everything, but it's harder for them to escape. Most Lock downs have a beautiful Garden smack bang in the middle of the complex (here at least) and I have seen a few (and even work in one at the moment). No, the residents don't like it all the time, but the majority of time they are quite content. One resident even has his own herb garden! One lady 'found' the door and asked if "that is the way out?" and was told yes, and when she said "Can I go out" was told "Not today, this is the staff door" she happily trotted off and found another activity. Just knowing there was a door was enough for her that day.
Oops, I rambled again .. sorry .....
Conversation wise, your probably better off talking about 'non-flammable' subjects. Weather, outings, reminiscing of old events are all good subjects that Dementia patients love to chat about. When visiting, take a goodie bag of photo albums, treats and activities .. the connect 4 game is a very popular one. The game rules aren't important, but the 'posting' of the 'coins' is good for their fine motor skills too.
My heart goes out to you having two parents in separate nursing homes, I've trod that road, and it's not easy to share yourself around and give each one quality time, but first and foremost, you look after YOU and don't wear yourself out ok?
Hugs
Sally
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