Hello everyone! Today I started research on Nursing Homes in my area. I called and made an appt to one that is about 15 minutes away. Their lobby was in the middle of renovating so lots of dust and noise. However, most of the residents seemed to be in the upper floors. The lady, who was an assistant, met with me cause the Director was at a meeting. The assistant was very nice and made me feel comfortable in talking to her. I had my questions on an index card. The first room she took me to was the recreation room where they also serve lunch. There was a young man there playing the piano. I didn't know what to expect. One patient was simply slumped over with the side of her face onto the table... i guess sleeping. She showed me a two-bedroom room. Nice size, big bathroom. They have an outdoor patio. We went back to a conference table to talk some more cause I told her I had more questions. I carefully wrote her responses quickly onto my index card. My feelings were... "gee, I don't know. It feels more like a hospital setting." My last two questions were: 1. Could you give me a name of a family that has someone living in this nh for me to ask questions? Assistant said "We don't allow that." My 2nd question was: Can I speak to one of the residents here? The assistant said, Sure. We went down one floor and she looked around and we ran into one of the residents and then asked her if she would mind answering my questions. The resident was standing up with a walker in front of her. Her reply was... "Sure as long as I don't have to stand too long. What is your question?" I asked: How long have u been here? Resident says: I've been here since November. I asked: Are you happy here? Resident says: No, I am not happy here. Last night I got sick and almost didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. I pressed the button for the nurse to come and no one ever came. Management here is not good here either. (Imagine my surprise when the resident said all these negative things to me and the assistant!) At first, i thought it would be a waste of time to speak to a resident with the assistant right there... boy was I wrong! The assistant, of course, took the opportunity to ask her if she told anyone of this. Resident said yes and that her son is coming over today to speak to someone about this. I then asked the resident if she plans to stay at the NH. Resident says I don't want to stay but her kids want her to stay cause they do not want her to live alone anymore. Kinda sad huh?
Anyway, I wanted to share with you my very first experiece of this and was curious of your opinion about this visit?
I told a friend of mine what happened and he says that he believes that all residents are not happy cause they want to go home. I can understand that but can't a NH make a person's stay feel like home and perhaps like a happy, lively social club? Is this thinking of mine absurd?
Minnie- I hate to say this but if you ever find such a place, I think it's called Heaven and everyone would want to get in! Seriously, It is such a shame that NH's can't be more like you wish, and we all wish. But the reality is, they just don't pay people enough and there is usually a big turnover at the NH's, they are overworked and underpaid. I don't think it's because they don't care about the residents, for the most part, I just think it's because they get burned out or have way too much to do. When Dad was in one, we had to beg them to give him a shower one day! They charge so much too. It's just so awful. I hope you find a good one, but I bet the lady was telling you the truth - they probably didn't have time or energy, whatever, to come and see about her. But that's the way it is at the hospitals here too. Is it just here where I live, or does everyone feel this way?? The only NH I've heard about that is positive is in a very small town about 20 minutes from here and is locally owned with the workers being there several years and really knowing their job. I guess that would make a difference. Good luck and keep us posted on your hunt> C
My Mom recently said to my brother, "this is the best place I have ever lived." She has been in this NH since October, after breaking a hip in September.
At first all she could think about was getting well enough to go home. But week after week the Physcial Therapy did not have the desired results, and eventually they gave up, and moved her to the Nursing Home part of the complex. (The other part is Rehab) ... there Mom has a room of her own. It took a few days for her to feel happy there and stop missing her roommate from the old building (who I think was discharged to home).
My brother fixed up her room very well with pictures from home and colorful pillows etc. She likes the food and all the entertainment (there is a social director and something or other is going on every day, she hardly ever has time to watch TV or just sit around.)
There are good nursing homes this side of Heaven - it is partly a matter of luck (my brother's new neighbor is one of the administrators and highly recommended this as soon as she heard of Mom's fall and hip fracture) and of course a matter of money. This one is horrendously expensive. BUT, as soon as it is approved , Mom will probably get on Medicaid now that all her own money is gone. And she can still remain there, where she feels so good.
Of course there are days when she wants to go home. But for the past 6 years she hasn't really lived independently - first I went to live with her for 5 years and gradually had to do everything for her, then 3 mos with my brother, then the fall and NH care.
One of the things you have to look for is a clean atmosphere. Not just that the Lysol covers up the smell of urine, but evidence that as soon as someone needs a diaper change, an aide appears with a clean one and takes her away to be changed. NO smells... and the food has to be good, and the personnel friendly. I think in spite of all the trouble and hassles getting it paid for, we did hit the jackpot with this place. It is on Long Island, New York, near Bill's house, only about 5 minutes by car.
There is also a doctor on duty 24 hours, and 1 nurse to every 5 patients (or is it 10 ..now I can't remember...)
Nothing is perfect, but you can try and look for darn close. *grin* perfect is our charges don't need a NH ..
First thing: check smells. If it smells like urine, or faeces, turn around and walk out.
Second thing: Check the sneaky places for dust/spills .. eg: behind the toilet, under beds.
Third: check residents wardrobes (check a few because sometimes residents mess them up constantly) ..
Fourth: check residents clothes, do they have food dripped down them? Are they clean? Do they use Clothing protectors (bibs)? Are they changed when necessary or left in wet smelly clothes?
And, I'm sorry to say, but you can't always believe what a resident tells you. You won't know if they have dementia, you won't know if they're on psychotic med's, you won't know if they are, in fact, perfectly mentally fine, the resident you talked to may not have been a reliable source.
If you keep your eyes and ears open, listen to the STAFF talking. Are they moaning about work conditions (a chronic situation in the NH I work in)? Do they laugh AT the residents or WITH the residents? Listen for insulting remarks made to residents, or watch them .. are they chatting to the resident, or talking over the residents head to another worker, ignoring their charge?
You will find most times, you can decorate their rooms to suit their taste. That room is there home. The rest of the area's are common areas, and have to be kept as clean and tidy and clutter free as possible. Clutter creates accidents and confusion, so that must be taken into consideration in their rooms as well.
Personally, I wouldn't go for a shared room .. because there is no separation ... we have a few residents who shut their door at all times. Why? Because then they are in THEIR space, not OUR space. It's an ownership thing, and I don't blame them. They've lost so much already, they're clinging to what they can now.
Where are you? The US have Family Homes which are a lovely step into assisted living (wish we had them here in Australia!) before further deterioration when NH IS needed.
I wish you luck in your search, don't reach for the impossible, but do seek out clean, safe and tidy.
Martha H. - Thank you for replying. I live in Queens NY near the long island border. Could u email me the name of this great NH you mentioned in the post? Thank you so much. [email]REMOVED[/email].
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