update on dads aggressiveness - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

sandipow · 03-13-2006, 05:23 PM

Hi - Glad to say that Dad is finally calming down, well somewhat anyway. Does anyone know what responsibility the home has to "protect" is guess you would say residents from others behavior? I was talking to someone who has their Grandpa in the same place and she was telling me this same woman my dad had a problem with has gone thru and ransacked her gp's room a couple of times and steals any candy she finds. Sometimes other small items as well. They taught Dad how to lock his door and gave him a key, but he feels like a prisoner having to lock his door all the time weather he is in his room or not. The last place he was in had other people with dementia and mild alz. but he never had a problem like this. I work full time so I take Dad out when I can, but its usually just on the weekends for lunch or dinner. I feel kinda bad sometimes leaving him, but he needs to be kept safe.
Thanks for listening
Sandi

SusanGene · 03-13-2006, 05:33 PM

that is a very good question. In my opinion, it has to do with how badly the NH needs money. I cannot imagine an understaffed NH watching and following any one patient around. I think they either look the other way or they (this would surprise me)tell the family we cannot keep your mother/father here any longer. I suppose it Has happened but I've not heard of it. These things just go on in NH's. My dad was Furious when a man or woman would wander into his room, all confused. He'd practically push them out the door! He bought a HUGE box of Depends for mom and kept them in his room (the separate living area) and the aides would come in and COP them for other patients! Dad would often catch them and say, "put that right back where you found it." So I had both parents in a NH together. VERY stressful years for me. So stressful that, after they died, I found myself
staying home almost all of the time. I'm married but I rarely go out anymore.
I feel like I'm on a 7 year vacation. A very quiet, predictable vacation.

angel_bear · 03-13-2006, 11:30 PM

We go back to the quality of the Nursing Home and how much they invest in staff I believe.

My ex-charges first attempt at a nursing home (only respite - she lasted one day before they wanted her removed as a 'too hard' case) saw her being uncontrollably violent towards staff and residents, going into other peoples rooms and screaming at them (she had no legible words, so nobody could figure out what was wrong) she was incontinent both ends everywhere ... and yeah .. I can see why that Nursing Home didn't want her about.

But in retrospect, they also aren't geared for the psychotic dementia patient either.

Her next NH is Dementia specific. They have an across the board range of dementia's, and they have a staff of 6 during the day time and 1 overnight (theory, they should be asleep so therefore not as many staff are required). The 'over active' ones (violent, psychotic, pacing, agitated, behaviour challenged) ones are given a 'sleeper' to help calm them and let them get a good nights sleep. They are checked every hour on the hour and checked again if there is any noises from their room.

Wandering residents are redirected as soon as possible out of other peoples rooms. However, there are laws against restraints that seem to counter-act any privacy laws. So the staff have to be vigilant which is hard if they are in a room toileting or dressing another resident. It's impossible to keep your eye on anybody 24/7, but you can try your best. They also utilise the more 'lucid' residents into keeping an eye out as well, which is good. They feel useful, and the staff can concentrate on those who need help more.

Now as for protecting others, good staff are aware of any triggers and go out of their way to avoid the event happening, or stay within striking distance. Again, it's not perfect, because if the staff are assisting toileting or something, anything is possible.

But they can try their best. That's all we can ask of anybody. Nothing is perfect unfortunately ..

But I'm working on it .......... LOL

Hugs .. and keep your chin up

Sally

LuvMyLilDoggie · 03-14-2006, 09:17 AM

Unfortunately, there are some bad seeds in this world. And the fact that people who work in NH's are not always paid very well doesn't help.

But there are some very good NH's out there who treat their staff and residents very well.

Unfortunately, as you know, this disease can be highly unpredictable. Some patients become withdrawn and depressed. Some become obsessed with sex. Some become agressive and/or combative. Some lose their ablilty to speak where others will understand them. Some become paranoid and think that everyone is out to get them or everyone is stealing things from them. Some love to be around people. Some (like my dad) would rather be alone most of the time. So just think of what these workers go through every day!

A good nursing home has a worker to patient ratio I think 1-5. It takes a special person to deal with 5 AD patients every day. No one can be in 5 places at once. Things are, unfortunately, going to happen. My grandmother was one to take other patient's things and hide them in her room. The staff at her NH were WONDERFUL! But they couldn't be with her 24/7. They're only human.

Now a worker taking Depends from your dad is something else. She shouldn't have done that. But I wonder if she thought your dad got them from the NH and thus she was entitled to take them.

Yes, NH's are money driven just like hospitals, grocery stores, factories and everything else. They have to be profitable to stay in buisness. If they don't profit, they close. Then where will these people whose families can no longer safely take care of them go? What will happen to them?

Have a good day!

Love, Barb

SusanGene · 03-14-2006, 09:48 AM

No, she could not have thought dad bought them from the NH because
NO ONE else had a box that huge in their room. If the staff had been told, "you get your depends from Mr Joe's living room" it would have been different. Obviously , the NH wouldn't keep their supplies in a patient's room.
they kept them in a supply closet. If the closet was far down the hall or even out of depends, they'd come and snatch dad's.
Another heartbreaking thing: mom lost a Lot of weight but she told me she'd put her 66 yr old engagement ring on her middle finger, whiich was bigger, so she wouldn't lose it. I was so upset most of the time I didn't give it any more thought. So one night it either fell off her finger or it was removed. We never saw it again.
In another NH I bought a lot of fruit punch and pudding cups and was told to put them in their breakroom fridge for dad. All of that was gone in no time.
I feel like I have a Degree in NH's after over 3 yrs with several different homes. IN 2 different states.