Passing down Alzheimers to your child? - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

WannaBeFreeToRoam · 03-16-2006, 11:49 PM

Hi Everyone,

I have a questions - sort of - , and a statement or something that was told to me. My sister told me this on the phone the other day.

She talks to people who have alzheimers or dementia parents. Also, receives info. in the mail from this place called Alz Care (a Alzheimers care place that we both checked out, in the town where she lives, 4 hrs. from us). Also, wherever she can get her hands on any alzheimers information.

She said that thru one of the above avenues, that a child (us) has a much greater chance of following in her fathers footsteps, having alzheimers, if: they are almost like them in temperament and personality. Like: if you are the type of person that wants every thing just so and very neat and clean. Also, if you and your ad family member, are both very precise and try to be more perfect (in some ways) than people like me (not tidy, in housekeeping, writing, and things that I do).

She is sending me the information in the mail and I can add on to this, when I receive it. I just cannot remember exactly what she said, just the idea and meaning that she was trying to get across.

As an example: My dad was/is a Chemical Engineer. Very exacting and wrote very small, even before he got alzheimers (now his writing is much smaller). Well, my sister should have been an engineer too. She almost got that kind of degree in college. But, instead she is an excellent teacher!

If you sort of get what I am trying to say - that a certain type of personality is more likely to develop/get AD, than people like me. I cannot remember if it is a type a or b or whatever?! :> Anyway, have any of you ever heard of something like this? Let me know if you have read about such a thing, and if you believe it to be so?!!!! Thanks in advance. And if you have waded thru this "Thread", congrats!!!!! :>

Love, Wannabe

Sandyspen · 03-17-2006, 05:56 AM

Wannabe,

Well, I don't know about everyone else, nor have I read about this but you are exactly right about my family. And, I know exactly what you mean! I call it "anal." My hubby is that way, everything perfect....do it right or don't do it at all, and on and on. After 41 years of marriage, I seldom do anything to help with his chores because he would simply do it again. Never good enough. When my sons were younger, they hated the task of mowing the yard because their dad would always go back and mow it again.

There's no AD in dh's family at all, so I don't worry about that. BUT..........I married a man just like my MOM. I guess I was most comfortable with that kind of behavior because he is just like my mother and her mother.

My Mom was so critical that my bother, who is one of the best ceramic tile setters in the city, would not work on her house unless she was out of town. All 3 of us, her children, would agree that we were never "enough."

My Mom had one brother who was exactly the same, he passed away 3 years ago with AD. Her Mom too with the same personality, passed away in a nursing home with AD, many years ago.

My dad, on the other hand, was very laid back. Refused to do much around the house because Mom was so critical of anything he would do. He passed away at 72 with no signs of memory loss.

I'm anxious, as well, to hear others who may have had this trait. I believe it's Type A personality.

BarbaraH · 03-17-2006, 07:19 AM

Interesting..... My mother was also a perfectionist in many ways. To draw a straight line, she'd measure 3 points, put a mark at each, lay the ruler down aligned with the marks, and draw the line. She was a secretary, and prided herself of being the source if correct information about any punctuation, spelling, of sentence structure question for everybody around. She could sew and made curtains, reupholstered furniture, and made my clothes. Everything she did was correct.

All of this is not engineering-technical, but it's anal!!!

Her AD started in her early 80s after she'd been a widow for about 16 years. Dad was also precise, but he died of cancer at age 72 without any mental decline.

I am far less of a perfectionist. I measure accurately for sewing my quilts, but don't measure like Mom did for drawing most straight lines! I could get messier if it will keep my oars in the water!!

I'll be interested to hear more. Cheers! Barbara

Sandyspen · 03-17-2006, 07:41 AM

Oh Barbara! That is so darn funny......you made my day!

I never ask dh to hang a picture or curtains or anything like that. He won't do anything without a level and it takes hours to be sure it's exactly correct.

It's funny, too. 2 of my children are just like hubby, the other 2 just like me. The 2 perfectionists are always on my case about being so messy. Hmmmmmmmm.......Think I'll just grin and bear it now. eh eh

LuvMyLilDoggie · 03-17-2006, 09:13 AM

LOL!!! I'm laughing because if this is accurate, I'LL NEVER GET IT! I'm no perfectionist by ANY means! Take one step inside of the house I live in and you'll see right away!

Looking back at all of the people in my family who have/had AD, there were perfectionists. My aunt (mom's sister) couldn't stand a dish in the sink for more than a few minutes. She'd only use her dishwasher on occasions like Thanksgiving. Even then, she'd have to re-wash the dishes by hand because "the dishwasher never did a good enough job". She was never really a perfectionist with everyone else, just herself.

My grandma (mom's mother) was the same as my aunt, her daughter.

My dad, however, was pretty laid back and relaxed. There was a place for everything and everything in it's place. But he didn't redo what had already been done. If you didn't do it quite like he wanted it done, that was ok. He was glad you did it.

My uncle (dad's brother) is a "tell it like he sees it" type of person. And if you didn't do something right, he would let you know in a heartbeat and then he'd show you how it must be done (his way). Very opinionated. A perfectionist? He would say he's not and in some ways, he's right. But in many ways, he isn't.

My grandpa (dad and uncle's dad) was somewhere in between my dad and uncle although I think he leaned more toward being like my uncle. I think he would have been more like my uncle if my Bohemian grandma hadn't kept him in check.

They were both born to imigrants from what was then Bohemia. Both had very strong opinions that sometimes clashed. And when they did, you'd better get out of grandma's kitchen because she was soon to be chasing grandpa out of the kitchen with a cast iron skillet in hand yelling "Get out of my kitchen, John!" And if she yelled in Bohemian and you asked what she said, she'd say "That's not for young ears to hear". She'd never hit grandpa with the skillet but she never let him think that she wouldn't! That was Bohemian grandma's form of Women's Lib.

BTW, I'm her namesake. I wonder if I'll get like her when I'm old.

Seriously though. This is very interesting. I can't wait to find out what the info your sister is sending you says.

Love, Barb