Jess22

Hi Girls,
Mom has been in the nursing home for almost one full week now, she has a very nice private room with private full bath, fully decorated with alot of her own personal things from home.
Ironically mother is better than I have ever seen her in soooo very long. The first day she arrived there ( I had them take her by ambulance) from the behavior center and we were not present she thought she was in a differant hospital.

She did not recognize her things at first so she gave away two of her favorite dolls I had placed in her room. The second day she tried to escape through an exit but her wandering bracelet went off and they were able to catch her. Every night when I visit her she has been in a good mood and is not crying or agitated at all. (Changing dr.s for her and the behavior center expeirance has helped her by getting her on the right meds.)

She would however ask me to take her home and tell me she was treated very good there but she wanted to go to her own house. I kept telling her that when she got her meds lined out and her infection cleared up then we would see what the dr. said. In the next minute she would say well
Im fine and Im not sick etc. but she seemed to accept it.

I have went every day and visited and stayed alot with her but I am now only going to go every other day or so. It is about a thirty minute drive (not bad ) and I really think I am having a worse time than her. Yesterday I thought I would just move her to a ALF for alz.
patients because mother is so mobile I worry about her not having as much interaction with people more like herself. The nursing home is very clean, smells good, and the nurses, aides, and staff seem really attentive
to all the residents but I have mostly been concerned because most of the
residents there are more wheelchair bound and immobile.

Anyway, yesterday I went to visit and I was feeling very down and unbehold to my despair mother was having the time of her life, she had been dancing for some of the nurses (The Charleston and the Jitterbug!) and been to
all the activities (they have at least 3-4 activities daily) she goes to all of them. She seems as happy as a lark and her behavior really does resemble a teenage girl's. She was dancing, laughing, showing us her room.
Although, at times, she will ask to be taken back home to her dogs.


When she saw me she told the girls well here comes my baby and she was happy to see me and kept the entire visit calling her room her house. All
she kept saying the entire visit was how busy she has been and how good they all are to her and that "they" watch over her house while she's gone. She cleans her "house" every day.

I got her a broom and dust pan etc. and she even asked me could I bring her some paper towels next visit. It was strange to see her so happy because like Sandy's mom it's been a totally different story for so long.

The nurses, and the aides all seem to be crazy about mother and they check on her every 15 minutes even though her room is next to the nurses station. The social worker came while I was there and we went down to her office and she explained to me that mother was very active during the day and night they even have things at least three to four times a week for them at night. She said mother is the life of the party there and that they all love her already. She said that with this horrible disease sometimes this type of
structerized environment and routine helps the person. So for now I will leave her there.

When mother starts talking it is so obvious that in so many ways she is so lost to me forever, she talked and talked about her dead family like they were around the corner and just fine, even told us that her stepfather made her bed etc. ( he's been dead for thirty years) so agian Im reminded of
mom's condition even though she appears to be great. She thinks the administration is related to her, this or that person's daughter - and she thinks her stepfather made her hospital bed.

I really really hate as all of you do too this terrible thief that has come into our lives and stolen our family members away from us. I have to learn somehow to lay aside some of this guilt, realize I have done what is best for mother and try to regain some sort of life back for myself, ( I really dont know how) but maybe it will happen. I think dh and I are going to start doing some work around our home which we had put off since being so consumed with mother, maybe with that I can keep a little busy with more than just thinking about her all the time.
The sister has been only one time to see her , that's a story left better
alone she has to live with herself and I have to live with myself so I'll let that go, Im not ready to forgive and forget right now but Im working on it...

Sandy, hang in there med changes can really make a difference.
Sandy, hang in hopefully when you change dr.s you will get better results
I wish I had done it months ago maybe I would not have had such burn out and maybe mother would not be in the nursing home today.. I considered bringing her home agian after I first saw her change on the new meds but Im
afraid to try, it had become so bad and I just cant deal with that agian. So for now mom's new home is where she is and I will continue to visit her and do all that I can and somehow try to find a bit of relief in something.

God's blessing to all and I'll keep ya posted as well as keeping my fingers crossed for you Sandy, Barb is right it does get easier as they forget more and more, sad but true.


With Love and Support,
Jess