It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-23-2006, 09:51 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 11
kmg126 HB User
Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Hi,
This is the first time I am posting on any boards regarding my mom's Alzheimers. I guess I am just looking for a bit of support, as we saw this coming on for a long time and my maternal grandmother suffered with Alzheimers as well.
My mom is really young, only 64, which is especially scary for me. I'm almost 45 and have two small children (6 & 1) and worry about what if's in the future. I noticed that my mom was having alot of forgetfulness back in 1997, so 9 years ago when she was only 55yo. Through the years it got worse and I told my dad and brothers all the time, but they were in denial and always said they didn't notice anything. Up until about a year ago, my mom was still coping pretty well. Staying home by herself while my dad worked or went out of town on business. She would cook and prepare small meals for herself, though it would take hours to do so. She lost alot of weight (was already small at 115) b/c I think she would forget to eat. There were sticky notes ALL over the house and she was seeking out Alzheimers groups and reading material all the time. She was even driving a bit still. She ultimately made the decision to give up her license and car early last year. She was finally put on Arocept about 5 years ago.
W live in New Orleans and were hit pretty badly by Hurricane Katrina and my parents lost their house (almost rebuilt now a year later) and she went downhill FAST. They moved into a small (they have a 5000sf house) townhouse and it was very upsetting to her. They lost most of their possessions in the storm, so ended up with new furniture and she was really put off that this was not her "stuff" We did salvage pictures and some momentos, so those she recognized, I think. Anyway, my grandmother had Alzheimers and died at 72 years old with it and I spent alot of time with her so I thought I was prepared for my mom, but her disease is VERY different. My grandmother could carry on a pretty decent conversation with you, even though she constantly asked who you were and thought that she was a young girl, or that her siblings were still alive. My mom cannot even communicate. The doctor said that the part of her brain that is affected is killing off her communication skills. She rambles nonsense and stutters and makes no sense at all. It has really kept all of her friends (she was very social and participated in endless groups) at arms length. Even though they sympathize and spend time with her and my dad on the weekends, they don't try to talk with my mom at all. People she has known for 30 years don't have anything to do with her, not that she really realizes it, but it's sad. She will get lost in her own world right in the middle of a group of people and sit there saying nothing or rambling, humming etc. for hours. She has accidents everytime they go anywhere and my father, who I never thought would handle any of this, turned out to be a saint, but he gets to his wit's ends. He keeps taking her out though to socialize, hear music or eat dinner. He's not embarrassed at all when people stare at her while rambling outloud. But she is getting too much to handle lately and I think those days are nearly over where he can take her out. My brothers finally realize how bad things are now, but they refuse to talk about it or really deal with it, which puts it all off on me, when my dad just needs a long break. I expected that I would step in and take care of her at some time, but with two small kids it's tough, especially for days on end when my dad needs to go out of town. I need to be home and my mom has a hard time coping completely out of her enviroment (though now she cannot find her bathroom in her small townhouse anymore either). I took her to her neurologist early this year and he took her off of all medication. Said that the side effects (stomach problems) were causing more problems for her that the good effects of the drug. He said that he doesn't believe that Arocept or any of the other meds do a damn thing for Alzheimers anyway (heartbreaking to hear that from him). She is in an adult Alzheimers day care M-F and the nurse there really wanted to see her on Arocept and Nmanda (sp) together and thinks they work wonders, but both of her docs refused, saying her Alzheimers were too severe, so my dad followed their advice. I pleaded with my dad to at least look at Alzheimers living centers and get her name on a waiting list, otherwise, he may need it in the future and nothing will be available. He did finally put her name on a list and it's a gorgeous place, but I think she is still too aware of what type of place it is and he could never get her in there willingly. He won't put her there unless she agrees to go, I'm sure. She doesn't know who anyone is, me or my brothers or our kids, and knows my dad, but I doubt that she knows he is her husband. She calls him her buddy, when you can understand her.
Again, I guess I am writing all this b/c I need a bit of support...afterall it's my mom and I am losing her. There are so many times when I just need to call my mom and I stop to remember that I can't. I think this is making the fact that I am losing my mom a bit easier to handle in that, she is no longer recognizable as her former self. This small, frail woman who makes no sense, can't be my mom. I watch videos from just a few years ago and the differences are insane. My biggest fear is that this will happen to me as well. It struck my mom so early, 55! When I am 55 my oldest will only be 16 and in high school. My youngest, only 12yo. The worrying is something I try to push aside praying that something will be done about Alzheimers before my brothers and I might be affected. And long before our kids could possibly be affected. My mom also has a sister that does not seem to be affected, who is older than her.
I guess writing all of this helps me a bit just to vent a little. If you got this far, I really appreciate you reading it. And I appreciate that these boards are here too!
Thanks,
Karen

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-23-2006, 10:35 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Dear Karen, I am so so sorry you have to be here - but at the same time it is a good place to vent, tell about your troubles, find good advice etc.

My Mom also has dementia. She is a very very old lady, but has pretty much the same symptoms as your young Mom.

I am all in favor of having her cared for in a good Alzheimer unit of a good nursing home. My Mom is now in such a home - almost a year now. She is so much happier than when she was at home with me, confused, worried, not able to make the simplest decision and knowing there was something terribly wrong. And I lived in a state of constant fear because I had to go to work every day and never knew what I would find when I got back - such as Mom missing, pots burnt, messes on the floor or her sitting in a chair not knowing who I was ....

I can only say that you should not even consider having her live with you and your small children. Some others on this Board will tell you how living with an AD Grandma threw their children off track. It is too hard for anyone to deal with, much less a child.

I applaud your father for his understanding and care, but he too is not a professional caregiver and may inadvertently be doing the wrong things. If taking her out in company causes her to sit and mumble to herself, it seems like a one on one visit with someone would do her a lot more good. My Mom was unable to follow a group conversation so just withdrew. But with one person she can have a sort of conversation.

I suggest you look into nursing homes in your area. What a shame you had to go through that horrible hurricane. AD patients hate change - so I can see how being evacuated and winding up in a different house threw her off also ...

Best of luck, and my prayers are with you

Martha

 
Old 08-23-2006, 05:52 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
angel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Hi Karen .. what a strong lady you are !!!

Your story 'sorta' mirrors mine .. except it was my MIL who came down with this horrid disease that robbed her of memories, speech, dignity and safety. Your Mum sounds a lot like her with without the violence (I pray that doesn't happen to you) ... The lack of speech is aphasia, my ex-charge had Primary Progressive Aphasia which meant she went from normal speech, to a stutter, to replacing proper words with weird words to baby babble to pretty much nothing anymore. She has no brain shrinkage other than typically expected for her age group, so nobody is too sure exactly WHICH dementia she's got, but it mirrors Pick's Disease without the brain shrinkage.

But I digress .... which is typical for me (and you thought you wrote a lot ha ha ha ha) LOL

First off .. communication .. it's really hard when you don't know if what your saying is being understood or being scrambled on entry ... and if she's anything like my ex-charge, she'll say "babble" but she thinks she's saying correct words, but she knows it's off ... its a really confusing time for everybody all around.

You could try picture communication .. make a little flip over book for her .. try focusing on activities of daily living .. picture of a hair brush, toothbrush, toilet, shower ... see if that helps any .. don't confuse it with words unless you want to put the name on the back of the picture .. keep it as simple as possible.

Dad on the other hand is trying to keep the balance of 'normal' which is probably beyond Mum now .. socialising isn't something they're good at because it shows their faults and creates behaviours. They need a steady, regular routine (but not a rigid routine .. it needs to be a flexable routine) with as little disruption as possible. Once the daily stresses are removed, sometimes a little speech can return for a short while, but I mean little.

Now for you .... there is HUGE research on Alzheimers, and there is a lovely little white pill Aussie researchers have discovered that will FIX Alzheimers (but only Alzheimers, not many of the other dementia's) and it's about to be trialled on Humans .. they estimate approx. 10 years before it's released to the public .. but THEY'RE CLOSE and that's EXCITING !!!!!!!!!! Because if they can cure ONE Dementia, they'll be able to cure the others eventually ...

AND ...... it's 10 years away .. who knows what will happen in that time!?!?!

I am sorry you have such a load on your plate, and I am sorry your Mum is still here, but not here, because it makes grieving just that little bit more awful ... but as best we can, you'll always have a willing ear, a cyber hug and some good friends right here.

Cheers & Hugs
Sally

 
Old 08-24-2006, 06:49 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oak Hill, VA
Posts: 3,508
ibake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Dear Karen, I know how hard this is. I am an only child and my mom has been struck with this dastardly disease. My father is/was in denial and had been Mom's caregiven for the past 4 years as she slipped farther and farther away. A fall during the night finally got Mom in a locked unit for AZ. patients. It's where she needs to be at 86. My dad is exhaused and can't do it alone anymore. They are in Minn. and I am in Washington DC so not a lot of help.

We just found out that our first grandchild is on the way. My mom, who lived for her two grandsons won't ever know this little great child and that breaks my heart and makes me angry! I have lost my mom and it hurts.

That being said, your mom needs to be in a facility where they can give her 24 hour care and take care of her needs. Your brothers need to accept the fact that your Mother is slipping down that slipperly slope and there is no recovery. They need to do what is best for you MOM, not what causes them the least pain....

hang in there..it's hard and it hurts and we cry and pray daily...

 
Old 08-24-2006, 08:26 AM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 11
kmg126 HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Thank you Martha, Sally and ibake&pray for your responses to my post. Your replies help so much. I appreciate it.
I read through many of the posts here and saw the information about the once a day pill that Australia is testing. I sent the article to my dad last night and this morning he called and asked where he could get a year's supply. He was laughing, but was serious. I told him that they are getting ready to do human trials and the article I read said maybe 4 years before going on the market (Sally you mentioned 10 years). But either way I know that if other parts of the world put a drug on the market, it still seems to take the US many more years to get it FDA approved and out there. I think that is what happened to Nemanda. I told my dad about it while it was being used in Germany for many years and he ended up ordering it on the internet and putting my mom on it himself. I was floored and told him that he needed to have her doc prescribe it. He kept her on it about a month or two (very expensive ordering this way) and saw no results so took her off. I tried to tell him that he could have been giving her anything, ordering it online like that. I told her doc, but he wasn't all that surprised. In the meantime, she went on doctor prescribed Nemanda at one time, but she had some problems with it (side effects that mess with her stomach) and then he put her back on Arocept (with Lipitor for the AD - her cholesterol is very low to begin with) and finally after that messed with her stomach too (she always had IBS) she is on nothing and rapidly declining.
My mom is in an AD day care center M-F and that is very routined and apparently she does pretty well there. She was very reluctant to go there in the beginning, but my dad has no problems dropping her off there each day now. I think he is just trying to hold on to some of their previous social life by taking her out to eat and being around friends. He is a musician and they go listen to music alot. Sometimes we go with them and my mom does like to get up and dance, which is so cute. Maybe it's just a stage of AD, but she seems to be going through (for a while now) a laughing stage. She'll laugh at everything, no matter funny or not. But when she gets mad, watch out. She's not violent (never was) but she tries to tell you what's making her mad and can't commnunicate it. Butyou can really tell that she is p*ssed off. I remember my grandmother getting really mad and I think she did have some physical episodesl.
What about diapers? My mom has alot of accidents and my dad has had to take her home in the middle of being out. She will go to the restroom and finally someone will realize that she is having a problem in the bathroom and go find my dad. He will have to take her home b/c she has messed on herself and in trying to clean herself up made it much worse. I've bought some depends diapers for him but he's not sure about making her wear them. I tell him to tell her that these are her new underwear. Anyone have experience with getting an AD person to wear diapers?
Well again, thanks for the replies! I really appreciate it. It really feels good to be able to write all this on here. It's hard to find someone to talk to that understands.
Karen

 
Old 08-24-2006, 08:41 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Dear Karen,

About diapers - my Mom had this problem a couple of years before she wound up in the NH in adult pampers all the time.

I tried to solve it by buying Depends for her - she flatly refused to wear them. She had accidents everywhere, once at a huge family Thanksgivng dinner and she was the only one who didn't notice.

Then when they tried Aricept she had so much diarrhea that she had to be changed from head to foot 5 times every day.

I never was able to deal with it, or find a solution. When she went to my sister's for 3 weeks she had a good idea .. after doing the wash she placed a large pad inside each one of Mom's underpants. I tried that at home but Mom invariably went to another drawer and put on other, unlined panties.

Until the day she went to live with my brother it was an unsolved problem for me and a source of much tension and embarrassment. I couldn't get her to wash and change clothes, she denied that she stank, she put badly soiled inner and outer clothing in her dresser drawers among the clean clothes. I had to investigate and look for yucky clothes behind her back, and sneak them off to be soaked and washed (we only had access to a public laundromat so you can imagine I had to throw out a lot of underwear, you can't take anything THAT filthy to a wash salon.

Meanwhile Mom kept telling me she had run out of underwear, and I kept buying more and more in packs of 2 or 3 or 5. When I finally moved both of us out, there were 60 pairs of clean underpanties, mosly unused, in her dresser .. hidden below old things never used. Plus quite a few pairs of badly soiled, or stained ones.

This is a major problem in AD, and in Nursing Homes they just routinely change her diapers and put her into them without a hassle. No one ever asked "do you need Depends." They just put her in them . My sister still believes she will be 'continent' again in some far off day when she goes home and is NOT put in Depends. Denial is not just a river in Egypt ...

Love,

Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 08-24-2006 at 12:30 PM.

 
Old 08-24-2006, 12:09 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
angel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Quote:
Denial is not just a river in Egypt ...
*** Snort *** chuckle chuckle .. I love that statement ...........

________________________________

But, on a serious note, I too tried to get my ex-charge into continence aids only to have them thrown back at me, or neatly placed back in a drawer (or once, in the fridge !!) .. when she went in for her first respite (2 weeks) they immediately put her into adult diapers and she fussed ONCE. (once, how DO these people do it?) When she came home for ONE NIGHT, do you think I could get them on her again? NO WAY .. yet when she returned for her final respite before placement, back into adult diapers, not a squeak.

Go figure.

Once she was placed, I cleaned downstairs thoroughly and found so many pairs of soiled 'step in's' as she liked to wear them (to hold her in .. like hello .. there wasn't an ounce of fat on her) and for some reason she really liked nylon (Urinary Tract Infection, here we come),I found wet and soiled bed sheets stashed in cupboards (I KNEW there was a smell) .. and there was no point in approaching her at any stage (either at home or otherwise) because she couldn't talk and answer .. although body language became a good tool of communication, it was very one sided .. she hated what was happening to her and was lashing out at the primary carer in anyway she could (that was me) because no matter what she did, I ended up coming along and 'fixing' things but in fact I was showing her she wasn't doing such a good job anymore (not in a mean way).

It's a bit like two woman in the one kitchen .. it never quite works out y'know?

Anyway .. that's my 2 cents (probably 10C in this economy)

Oh and 10 years was just a ball park figure ....... you know how medicine can be.

Cheers

 
Old 08-24-2006, 12:43 PM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 11
kmg126 HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Thanks for the info on the diapers. So, I will tell my dad to put what underwear she has left in her drawers away and fill the drawers with depends and tell her that these are her new underwear. No choice. When she was on the Aricept her accidents were really bad, now I know it was probably a side effect of the med. Accidents are still really bad, gets everywhere. My dad was really upset when they went out recently and she had an accident and it was all down her back and in her hair and clothes. How does that happen? I mean I know it's a mess, but how does someone get it in their hair? She's had small accidents here at my house, and tries to clean it up before anyone can notice. I know something is up when she's in the bathroom for 20 miniutes and I can hear her mumbling very loudly. We just tell her it's okay and after they leave, I get in there and scrub. So far, it hasn't been bad. I remember my Grandmother having an accident on my mom's couch many years ago and my mother getting very upset and frustrated about it. So, remembering that keeps me from feeling so guilty when it happens now. This is hard on everyone.
So let me ask you all. Is there something to the fact that my mom (and a friend's mother does the same thing) balling up paper; toilet paper, paper towel, newspaper and putting it in her drawers? Her clothes drawers are full of paper! And recently I noticed there was paper in the dishwasher. My dad just says, yep your mom puts it everywhere. And he's also worried that every time she goes to the bathroom, she takes the toilet paper and very harshly wipes herself. So harshly that there are always little tiny bits of toilet paper in front of the toilet on the floor. When she spends the night at my house, I have little bits of paper all over!
One more thing, how or should I even approach explaining any of this to my daughter? She is 6 and knows that something is up with Grammy. I tell her to speak loudly to her and that Grammy doesn't remember too well. She doesn't seem to be affected too much by my mom (and we spend alot of time together) but gets very worried while my mom is in a resturant bathroom or tries to get up from the table and wander. I sat down with my daughter and asked her what she thought of Grammy's behavior and she just said that Grammy is hard of hearing so we have to talk louder than usual. Common sense tells me that my mom may be gone in a couple years and it will get worse, and I definatly don't want to pretend to my daughter that nothing is happening.
THanks,
Karen

 
Old 08-24-2006, 03:17 PM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Hi Karen,

So much of my care of Mom revolved around toileting issues.

No, she didn't ball up paper and put it in her dresser. I never found bits of toilet paper in front of the toilet.

BUT (aaarrrghghgh)

I found lumps of POO in front of the toilet.

The ladies who have been here that long will remeber a post of mine in the spring of 05. I was barefoot, it must have been a hot day, I went into the bathroom and without looking down - walked right into something squooshy ..oh no. Poop!

I washed my feet, the floor, the bathroom rug, etc etc and came out still feeling stinky all over. I was and looked upset. Mom says what is wrong. Oh oh, silly me, I told her.

WELL! I never did that! I am not the only person in this apartment, I did NOT and never do and never would get anything on the flooor. Etc etc - a tirade lasting waaaay too long.

BUT, she had in fact left 'lumps' before, only I hadn't stepped into them.

It was during the time I already had Depends in her bedroom and a small pile in th bathroom for her to use, but she refused. I don't need such a thing, not me!

My worst memories of Alzheimer care outside of the time Mom wandered off and we couldn't locate her for several hours, was the pee and poo thing. Funny, it never bothered me with my kids, and now not with the grandkids either. You clean it up and go on ... but when your MOTHER does it, it is somehow unbearable, at least to me.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 08-24-2006, 10:11 PM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
angel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

hmm .. paper ... my MIL lost the understanding that used toilet paper goes into the toilet .. and yeah .. we would find it ANYWHERE (including on the kitchen plates ......ewwwwwwww icky icky icky icky **shuddering**)

Infection control is one of the BIGGEST battles with our charges .. they lose the art of hygiene .. be aware of hiding 'showering' (eg: saying they have when they haven't) .. it appears to be an across the board behaviour that one .. I think water streaming from the wall get's them quite scared !!

I think I figured out you have to try and put yourself in their position (if that makes sense) remembering you are forgetting things .. like

a) I know that's a thing over there I put somewhere on or in my head.
Answer: Hair Brush or Toothbrush.

b) I know that material over there goes somewhere on my body
Answer: A jumper used as pants, or pants used as a shirt, or shoes on the wrong feet, or underpants as a hat (don't laugh, I've seen it !! LOL)

c) that stuff comes out of the wall and stuff shouldn't come out of the wall, and it frightens me.
Answer: Water from the shower rose.

It's tricky for sure, but if you can try and step into their imploding world, it can help.

Now as for your little one, my youngest who is now 11 can't remember her Nanna as 'normal' which is such a shame cause Nanna was such a wonderful person! She was about 6 when things started going 'weird' which we managed to cover up, but once she hit 8 things couldn't be hidden anymore .. she's OK about it, and wants to go into Nursing for the Aged as a career .. so maybe some of me did rub off on her .. who knows (although I will encourage her to just seek out nursing if that's her choice .. she can specialise later)

Kids are resiliant (male teenagers however, pose another set of problems) but be honest with her. That's about all you can do.

Big hugs again

 
Old 08-31-2006, 03:49 PM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 235
needtoescape HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

My mom was paranoid schizophrenic and had "breakdowns" when her behavior was very very odd - in some ways similiar to AD. As a child, it was very frightening to me. I guess this was especially so since she was supposed to take care of me. My dad didn't talk to my sister and I about how we felt about what was happening. I used to be afraid to come home from school if no one else was home. I didn't want to be alone with her while she was having troubles. I would find anyplace else to go until my older sister or dad was home.

I think the important thing would be to talk to your children and explain as best you can - and give them a chance to talk about how they feel about it - and also try not to leave them in situations when they are alone with the person with AD (unless they're old enough to understand and be comfortable handling it). I wasn't ready to be "care-giver" for mom during one of her breakdowns until a summer in-between college years. Maybe if Dad had talked to us and we'd had an outlet for talking about our fears, I would have done better and been able to handle it at a younger age.

 
Old 12-15-2007, 09:18 AM   #12
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Metairie, La
Posts: 1
LaBob57 HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Karen, some words from another New Orleanian. Katrina messed up a lot of older (and younger) peoples minds. My heart doc told me that heart attacks have risen drastically in the area since K. I am 64 myself and will not go through it again. My mom is 91, physically fit, but starting to lose it mentally.
God bless you.
I am the only sibling who takes care of her and was feeling sorry for myself but this board and the postings make me ashamed to feel that way.
Bob

 
Old 12-15-2007, 10:03 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,146
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: Mother has severe Alzheimers (only 64yo) (LONG)

Never be guilty for those moments when you are overwhelmed. They are a part of the journey we are all on. I have had those moments myself. We all have. We are only human. Use them as an indication that it is time to do something for yourself, even if it is just a few minutes. It is what lets us know when we are reaching the edge and need to pull back.

I have slipped to that edge more times than one. It has spured me to do thing I need to do to make changes. It has given me cause to do something for myself. It brought me here to get the encouragement, information, and reinforcement that I needed.

So rather than feeling guilty embrace the moment and do what is necessary to keep yourself going.

Love, Deb

PS... I threw the word guilt out of my vocabulary. We all do the best we can with what we have at the moment... then we go on to do more and better another day :-)

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My 92 year old mother is driving us crazy jannar Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 14 11-25-2009 03:52 AM
I can't stand my mother anymore! jannar Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 17 07-06-2009 11:30 AM
Mother with Alzheimer diagnosis--help needed jannar Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 22 01-17-2009 09:25 PM
Not fun visiting my mother jannar Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 3 09-14-2008 06:36 PM
suggestions for mom struggling w/ mother w/ alzheimer's Tracie1204 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 15 06-23-2008 09:48 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Aricept
Aspirin
Ativan
Morphine
Namenda
  Reminyl
Risperdal Seroquel
Xanax
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Gabriel (758), ninamarc (157), Martha H (124), meg1230 (93), angel_bear (68), jagsmu (55), Beginning (51), TC08 (44), ibake&pray (43), debbie g (37)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (852), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:48 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!