Something to ponder - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

LuvMyLilDoggie · 09-02-2006, 01:56 PM

I read in my local newspaper today that there was a 71 y/o woman arrested for elder abuse of her 100 y/o father.

The woman said she offered to take her father in with her in Florida. She said her father sold his old home and bought one in Florida in his daughter's name. She was his caretaker but her daughter helped her out. All documents regarding the house have a signature that looks exactly like her father's. The woman's sister got suspicious of previous financial dealings when their father stated that he wanted to come home. His granddaughter drove him back to Illinois and the other daughter put him into an assisted living facility. This is when the father began saying that the Florida daughter robbed him blind. The father pressed charges against the Florida daughter. The Florida daughter insisted that she was innocent and that her father suffered from memory loss. The daughter was offered a deal where if she admitted what she'd done, she would not go to prison. She refused saying that if she plead guilty to something she was innocent of, her reputation would be stained for the rest of her life. The woman's sister said that the woman wrote a check for $70-something thousand dollars before going to jail to pay for her half of the home and that the woman stopped payment on the check as soon as she went back to Florida but this could not be proven. The father testified in court against his daughter but his testimony had many answers like "I don't know, maybe, I'm not sure". The woman was convicted based mostly on the father's testimony of what had transpired in Florida.

Now the father is in an assisted living facility about 15 miles from me and his daughter sits in prison...

When I think of it, it sends shivers down my spine. I don't know if the woman is guilty or not. But how many of us could be accused of the same thing? Most of us take care of financial dealings when our parents can no longer handle it. How many of our loved ones could be convinced that we were up to no good? We get accused of everything under the sun as it is. Is it possible?

Just wondering....

Love, Barb

Martha H · 09-02-2006, 05:00 PM

OMG ..that is soooo scary!

I believe the daughter. Her 'dear' sister got their father all churned up about imagined abuse.

Many people, including that judge, do not understand that it is part and parcel of AD to imagine all kinds of abuse.

I can't be thankful enough that my Mom is in a safe place where she can't accuse any of her family of abusing or cheating her.

My brother's MIL was like that (she died of Alzheimers in 2004) .. she accused her daugher of stealing her house and all her money, taking away her social security checks,(they were later found under the carpets); she tried to throw my brother out of HIS house yelling "get out of my house."

My mother has suffered for years from thin blood, caused by heart meds, which cause easy bruising. She can wake up in the morning with a 3 inch black and blue mark she got somehow in bed, bumping her arm against a night stand or a wall. People at her old senior center had the nerve to ask her if her daughter or her Aide was hitting her.

Just think of what could have happened to me if she had said yes my daughter hits me all the time. I would be writing from jail instead of my own apartment in beautiful Indiana.

One more point for the 'nursing home' advocates. You throw away years of your life to do the parent a favor and take care of him, someone picks up a crazy delusion they are having, carries it as far as a court case, and you are punished for your good heart.

I hope her lawyer appeals this injustice. I just don't believe an Alzheimer patient's testimony can be creditable .. and sisters are known to have life long rivalries and unsolved probems with each other. I hope the mean sister is happy now. I hope her Dad accuses HER of something terrible soon ....

Thanks for sharing this - it may help one or more AD caregivers from a similar fate! Get everything in writing in front of 2 witnesses .... don't give up your home and move to the sick person's or to a new place with him or her ... do anything only if your siblings are in full agreement ...

Love,

Martha

cyt · 09-02-2006, 05:23 PM

Yes, these terrible things can and do happen. When my niece (my Mom & Dad's granddaughter) would go and visit my Dad, he would lie on us like you wouldn't believe. Well, she believed him. This turned her against us, and to this Dad, after Dad died, she hasn't spoken to us or even called her grandmother once. I just don't understand people. I know Dad lied - he had dementia and strokes, once Mom just touched his arm gently and he said "quit hitting me". It's just awful.

janeslk · 09-03-2006, 07:33 AM

I met a couple the other day who said the husband's mother had AD, but her attorney went to court to take away the husband's POA after the mother, who was in a nursing home, complained about being there. The POA was taken away, the attorney now handles all of her finances and, yes, she is still in nursing home with AD.

Jane

Martha H · 09-03-2006, 10:53 AM

yes, she may still be in a NH but now her LAWYER gets all her money before Medicaid sets in ...

there oughta be a law ....