I hope someone can help me,this is driving me nuts.
My aunt has gone through some changes lately and Im not sure what it is. Most of what I have read about AD/Dementia symptoms dont all fit her.
1. Thinks ALL movies, TV shows, etc. have been on 3 times this week
2. Stays awake all night
3. Says we forget if we tell her something she doesnt agree with, and gets loud about it
4. Ex.: We passed a police officer giving someone a ticket (I assume) and she said, "He has pulled the same guy 5 times this week
5. stares alot.
6 Has BAD table manners now
the list goes on. Can anyone help? Dr. appt isn't until next week.
My mother has old age dementia and she went through exactly the same things as your aunt. It is like deju vu all over again and again and again. She got cards for her birthday and I read each one to her (her eyesight was very poor) and she said "You read this card to me already yesterday" and I argued, no way, it just got here, look the postmark is yesterday. "NO, you read it to me yesterday!"
We watched Judge Judy on TV. "this is the 3rd time this week that they have shown this repeat! When are they going to make new shows!"
My brother called to talk to her. All I heard was "I know that! You already told me that."
I came home from my job as a pre K teacher and told her some funny anecdote about that day's session "You told me that yesterday!"
And so forth. It was one of the earlier signs of dementia, before she began wandering away and getting lost, burning pots etc., before she had any problems getting herseof showered and dressed. But it was definitely a sign of somehting wrong, and a few months later the other symptoms appeared. Make sure you tell the doctor what you have seen and heard --doctors are easily fooled by a dementia victim who is sure nothing is wrong with her!
Dementia is an umbrella term that covers Alzheimers, Vascular Dementia, Picks Disease and the other 70'ish recognised dementia's that are 'out there'.
It doesn't really matter which of the Dementia's she has, but it's vitally important to get her diagnosed as soon as possible. It could be something as simple as a B12 deficiency (which mimics dementia) and can be easily fixed!!
But first and foremost get a full physical done on her, then, your best plan of action is to write down in a journal her behaviours .. personal hygiene, money matters, daily events .. what she can and can't do .. keep this journal going for about 2 - 4 weeks .. then go to the doctor armed with your information. Demand a mini-mental test be done and go from there.
You have a short window of opportunity to get a Durable Power of Attorney done to keep her safe ...
At the moment, her aggressiveness is because she's remembering she's forgetting and she's trying to cover up. When ever somebody points out to her she's done something inappropriate, she'll get defensive (as do we all, but it's magnified with Dementia). Above all YOU stay safe too .. they can get some REALLY BAD inappropriate behaviours that can and will put others in danger.
I am so sorry this is happening to your family, but take it from those who have been in your shoes (and come out the other side) ... we learnt the hard way .........
Thanks for the feedback, it really does help knowing Im not the only one going through this. My mother has gotten the POA so Im glad about that. I guess I am just trying to find out when to expect her to not be able to care for herself such as showers, dressing, getting around.... I know, Everyone is at a different pace. Seem as though it would be easier to know if it will be months or years. Its like waiting for something awful to happen every day. Everyday seems a little worse. Today she cussed at a man while he was waiting on her to shut the car door so he could get into his, wants to eat nothing but sugar stuff, stealing cigarettes and whining like a child. She is 71, Im 39, which makes me feel bad to be telling her what to do. Guess Im just venting, I need to remember that she is the one this is happening to and be a little more patient.
Thanks for the feedback, it really does help knowing Im not the only one going through this. My mother has gotten the POA so Im glad about that. I guess I am just trying to find out when to expect her to not be able to care for herself such as showers, dressing, getting around.... I know, Everyone is at a different pace. Seem as though it would be easier to know if it will be months or years. Its like waiting for something awful to happen every day. Everyday seems a little worse. Today she cussed at a man while he was waiting on her to shut the car door so he could get into his, wants to eat nothing but sugar stuff, stealing cigarettes and whining like a child. She is 71, Im 39, which makes me feel bad to be telling her what to do. Guess Im just venting, I need to remember that she is the one this is happening to and be a little more patient.
As you said, everyone deteriorates at different stages .. there's no hard and fast rules, except the vascular dementia's tend to be a rapid decline whereas 'old age' dementia is just a gradual decline ...
Mum can have some scans done to rule out some dementia's, but all in all, the correct diagnosis can't be done until autopsy, and, like the rest of us, your not ready for that just yet ! LOL
I guess, yes, the hardest thing is the child becoming the adult. It just goes against what we've been taught all these years .. respect your elders etc etc ... to keep them safe, we have to nuture them as a child, but they are still adults !! It's not until much later in the disease that they believe they are children.
And ... remember ... she's not being difficult on purpose, she simply can't help it anymore.
As for placing in a facility, well that's when you decide you can't take it anymore. Some people are strong and can handle it, other's like me, no way .. tried it for 2 years and no way can I look after a family member in the same home. Too hard for this little black duck!! Just be honest with yourself and don't let guilt or uninvolved parties make the decisions for you .. you do what's right for YOU and what's right for MUM ... I know of many people already in facilities who many people wonder why they are there .. but they WILL deteriorate and the transition won't be nearly as bad for them.
Remember, we're all individuals, even our Dementia loved ones !!! I had a precious lady come up to me the other day and say "Where are we gonna play today?" ... I went along with the 'at school' routine. The next day I got in trouble for missing the bus !!! The Day after, I was her daughter ... you just sorta 'go with the flow' I guess!
Hugs
Last edited by angel_bear; 10-09-2006 at 11:13 PM.
