Re: MIL Alzheimers conflict
One of the things that makes it so hard is that patient looks the same, and it is very hard to realize that the person isn't the same. I still find myself getting frustrated at why my husband does something after living with the disease for 4 years --- as if he could help himself -- and then have to remind myself that he's demented. (I HATE that word. When I started posting, some people used it to respond to my questions and I cringed. Now I understand that it's the hard truth.)
It's a sad question, but were they really ok before MIL moved in? Did they agree on MIL spending her days with her daughter? Is he home most of the day when the MIL and her dog are there?
Do they care enough about each other to try to make it work for awhile, knowing that ultimately a full-time care situation and placement is going to be necessary? They both might need help, whether through counseling, learning more about the disease, learning about other care options, etc. If he learns more, he might be able to suggest other options to his wife. No, replacing the dog with a stuffed one is NOT a good option (at least not yet).
Your daughter in law is fortunate that you care so much about her. You sound very disappointed in your son. Perhaps he was just venting about a particular situation (geez, we know what that's like!!!) and within a few days he'll settle back down again -- not realizing how upsetting it can be for you to hear about them arguing. This disease causes so many ups and downs in families on top of everything else. It's a horrible roller coaster. I wish your family a peaceful Thanksgiving.
Last edited by Beginning; 11-18-2006 at 04:43 PM.