I need some input and understanding, I guess. My husband took his dad (91) and his 2nd wife (71), to his sisters and they camer to my sisters for Thanksgiving. Drive was about 4 - 5 hours. I think they did ok.
Before my husband went there to pick them up, he dropped me and our 6 mo. old lab at my parents house. He helped pack up their car and get the dog in for me/us. Which helped me a lot.
I drove my parents and our doggie to their rental condo, which is about 4 - 5 hours away (for us). The trip was ok, except when we stopped at a roadside rest stop. I watched after my dog and my mom watched after my dad, with me watching from afar. My dad was totally confused at the rest stop. I do not think he knew why we were there. But, my mom guided him to the mens restroom. She waited and waited and waited outside. She sent in a couple of men to see how he was coming along.
Anyway, he finally came out and then had to go back in to get his can and tried to go into another mens room, instead of the one he had been in. This is a big big rest stop, with 4 mens rooms and 4 womens restrooms. He was just totally not "there". The rest of the time was uneventful and my uncle drove them to my sisters and sat with my dad and visited by theirselves!
So, this trip/experience was very traumatic for me and my mom (even tho she did not say so). I almost cried right then and there. His last trip up there was in July with my niece and my mom. I think he did ok then, did not hear anything otherwise and my niece would have told me.
The outcome of this is, I told most everyone, except my parents that I would no longer take him up there. I am hoping that he will be in a alz living center by the next time they expect to go back.
So, everyone - comments please. I knew this time would come, but they are not going to like it when they find out, that they regular driver/helper will no longer take them. My mom thinks she can take them, so that may be a problem.
Tell me what yall think and what you would do in my situation. Any ideas of what or how to tell my parents???
Oh my you sure are in a pickle with your mom thinking that she can take your dad the next time. Hopefully, by the time the next time arrives, your mom will think otherwise.
Maybe you could have hubby disable the car the next time your mom wants to go there and you could say you can't take them because you and hubby have doctor appts or whatever clever excuse you come up with. Put it off as long as possible.
I know this isn't much help and maybe someone will be along shortly who has better advice. I just wanted to lend an understanding voice. I've been there and done that with the long trips with my dad. Although he wasn't as bad then, it was stressful having to keep a close eye on him but still give him enough space to not let him know that I had my eye on him constantly.
I wrote a reply to this several days back. It must have gotten lost in my lovely computer!!! :>
I like your idea about my husband taking part of the car off, so it will not work or start before they leave. They are not to good about taking their car to get things done.
I am hoping that my mom will loose her driving license sometime before then. Then, they will probably go to a nh/alz & asst. living place. There is one that the social worker told me about (she wants to move her mom there and the Nurse that comes to my parents home to check on my dad has her mom there already) and I visited it and want to take my sister there. Probably not til Jan.
I just wanted to add, that my mom - a few weeks ago - said she did not want me to keep telling her what will happen in the future. I told her ok, but my husband and my sister may not keep quiet!!!!!