this is my greatest concern, could we have kept her home longer?
my no. 1 aim.
But given the circumstances it is now in mums best interest to be permanently placed, even if it causes her some distress.
Better to place her now than to risk my brother hurting her (psychologically) or walking out on her and being faced with a crisis.
and my brothers health is suffering (obviously)
I fear judgement from health professionals about placing too early but as you point out, each person never knows the family situation.
I have not told our NH that my brother is on valium and having addiction problems, but I will in due course.
I am hoping that once she is admitted they will not find it necessary to keep her in the secure wing, and that she can be transferred to the general high care ward...time will tell.(ACAT specified dementia specific)
she has no challenging behaviours, is not aggressive, and does not wander or sundown and is a bit repetitive
i take her in on Monday, and then I will get my life back,gradually!
Angel bear, I just read your 101 activities for an alzheimers patients and I was a bit shocked because my mum seems a bit different from other typical sufferers (or maybe its the stage)
I dont think she could actually do up to 85% of your suggestions
she is not capable of getting a glass of water in her own home
she certainly could not color in, rake, fold towels, do simple puzzles or talk about "the old times"
she is hardly capable of putting together a 5 word sentence. she could not wipe a table or sort socks
in fact the only things she can do unaided are go to the toilet (needs help at times) walk and eat.dressing is dodgy.
I once(about six months ago) tried to get her to get something out of my pantry. I gave her simple one step directions but I could not even get her to find or see the cupboard which was right next to her(yes we have had a recent visit to the optomitrist) sp?
a little while ago I tried to get her to brush her hair, I put the brush in her hand and gave her one step directions and even touched her hand and then her hair giving her not only verbal but physical instructions..."time to brush your hair"
when she follows me to the toilet in my house, if I dissapear around the corner,less than 2 feet away from her she does not follow,as she has lost sight of me but starts anxiously repeating "where am I? where am I?!, WHERE AM I??!!
but she is continent, mobile and has a good appetite.
its like the disease has totally attacked the part of her brain that regulates these functions before it turns its attention to the part of her brain that governs the body.
I class her as stage six going by your sticky, I can not see room for any more cognitive decline that will not involve her physically
Martha, if you read this post, I must say I dont know what you do professionally, I suspect you are retired, but you should be a councellor (sp)you have a natural empathy and offer realistic and sound advice for those in crisis.
I have kept myself informed of your mums progress and you have
"life experiences" that make you a trustworthy and wise person.
feedback regarding my mums probable progression or your assessment re: what stage she is at would be appreciated as I fear my judgement may be clouded at this time
Jo...who is feeling a little less stressed today than y/day
I love to VENT, my friends and family no doubt are very tired of my only topic of conversation being alzheimers and my mum
by the way...on monday arvo after her permanent admittance, I am going to sit in my garden with a nice glass of white wine and a good book..luv reading!
I have through all this not forgotten to look after me too!
(well maybe I did for a little while
I have even booked myself in with my GP for the following mon for a long overdue visit... I should have gone 2 years ago
I have every mon off work, so the following Mon I might go to the hairdressers...oh joy, oh bliss...gee maybe I will even go to the cinema or out for a meal...sounds good huh?
I could even do some gardening or shopping
perhaps i could......see my friends!
oh, here`s a thought, I could actually give some time and attention to my DH and my children
the possibilities are endless, who would have thought???
i am after all, still only 42 years young