I have been reading the 7 stages again and I think that mum is now 4-5,, Being so severely ill has resulted in her dementia progressing. She often doesn't remember our names, messes up her clothes if she dresses herself, needs help with bathroom and shower etc. can feed herself.
She is gathering and hiding things and recently hid wet underpants and pants in with all her clean clothes and i didnt find them for a while. in herself she is relatively content but I am just desperately wanting my old life back and chances of getting a NH placement soon are slim. as someone else mentioned, she can sound so good to other peoples because she just makes up stories when asked a question ..complete fabrications...
anyway I have decided to go out with my hubby to a late night movie after she has gone to bed. my (adult) kids will be here but she should sleep for most of the night.
I feel as though just at the time we were about be able to spend more time together and begin to enjoy trips away and a bit easier life. this happened. so the best i can do at the moment is to catch a late night movie.
anyway I am feeling like a wreck but just wanted to drop by
cheers
Good luck to you! Be creative and brave and try every avenue to give yourself breaks-- planned and unplanned. Sometimes even an extra minute here or there to say "right now at this minute I am a free woman" can ease the constant pressure. Hope your adult kids can help you and your husband find a way to have regular dates!
You should try to get out any chance you get. It is good for you and will help to make you less stressed. My mom is sort of like that.
I go to their home about 1 - 2 times per week. Almost as soon as I get there, my mom will think of somewhere to go for an hour or two. And about once every 2 mo. she will go with a friend to a Red Hat Ladies outing. She just has to let me know a few days early.
I imagine it is like a breath of fresh air, just to get out with your hubby!
Hi Lolly, taking care of yourself as the main caretaker is as important as taking care of your mom. I am not sure what your finances are, but a CNA is often an inexpensive sitter to get a breather and know that should there be any problems they are trained in basic health care. Before I put my Nana in assisted living, I hired a retired nurse to "hang out" with her and be her lunch buddy. My Nana finally got irritated that her assigned friend was there every day and she never had time to herself...lol. I never did let her know the real reason why she was there because at that point she was in denial during lucid moments, and just tried to fake understanding at others. Nursing students, particularly those studying geriatrics are also good candidates for a sitter. It took me a while to work out what worked best for me as I was taking care of my mother in end stage cancer 2 hours away and my Nana in the mid stages of AH. A true balancing act that will wear you out without back up help and planning. You deserve your life too, but I know you want to be there for her. Good luck to you!
MimGregg
