It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-13-2007, 07:34 PM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 33
jsvn HB User
end stage

I haven't seen many posts about end stage alz. My husband is in the end stage. He can't walk and had pretty much stopped eating. At the facility where he stays at they suggested to take him to the hospital for hydration. He was in the hospital for four days. It did seem to help him some. He's eating a little better and his face looks better. I talked to his hospice doctor and he said that my husband has maybe two months. We just keep hoping he'll eat better, but ...... I asked the doctor if my husband stops eating again, can we take him to the hospital for hydration again. He said we could, but he said, "Why put him thru that again?" This is soooo INCREDIBLY hard. I go every day at lunch time to feed him, hoping he'll eat better. I know I should ask the doctor, but, it's like, you don't really want to ask. If he stops eating again, do his organs start shutting down? He's also had strokes. Can anybody tell me what happens. He's had other medical problems-prostate cancer surgery, a tumor in his head. It was so hard to put him on hospice but he's been thru a lot. He's only 70 years old. Thanks for any information.

 
Old 01-13-2007, 10:49 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,439
WannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB User
Re: end stage

Hi jsvn,

I am sorry that it seem that your husband is getting near the end. But, if he is on hospice care already, they should be giving him pain meds, he he even moans or cries or groans. My mother in law dies of cancer and was on hospice and at some point they quit eating. The nurses and the doctors told us that not eating does not hurt. They are not hungry. So, do not force your husband to eat, if he does not want to.

Hospice is only pallative care. Meaning just to make the patient comfortable and not give ivs, such hydration, it just prolongs everyone misery. Yours, his and anyone else that care about him.

I am sorry, but I hope that you know when he is ready to let go. I know it is hard for you. But, he will be much better off in another place.

Love, Wannabe

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-14-2007, 04:06 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: end stage

My mother is also end stage, with months or weeks to go. It is hard, but they do everything they can to make it a smooth transition (jargon for an easy death.)

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 01-14-2007, 11:51 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 3,450
LuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB User
Re: end stage

My dad is not at that stage yet but I want to send my thoughts and prayers to you and your dear husband. He is so young for this. To have gone through all he's gone through and still be here, he must be one strong person.

Jsvn, take care of yourself and know that whatever decisions you make for your husband, you make them out of love. And that's the best you can do for him.

Love and hugs, Barb
__________________
Live, Love, Laugh.

 
Old 01-14-2007, 02:35 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
angel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB User
Re: end stage

Over in my little neck of the woods, when the doctor diagnoses "last stage" the patient is taken off ALL medications and, if required, only given palliative morphine. They are offered fluids, given mouth swabs, offered food, but if they resist we are not to force.

Doctors diagnose "last stage" when the patient is unresponsive, looks exhausted, when carers notice a big 'downfall' in behaviour, looks etc ..

And that's where the palliative care kicks in. We make them as comfy as possible, we play gentle music in the background, dim lights, as I said, palliative morphine (dr. defines the dose but we had a tiny gentleman on 2.5mg as needed - that's a tiny dose - another gentleman last year was on 5mg every 2 hours, each case is different), thickened fluids are offered but usually rejected, we have special flavoured swabs to clean their mouth out, and they usually just suck on those ... but that's it. No more forcing them .. they are allowed to slip gently away . . . there is usually somebody not far away either, and you find that the staff tend to hover around the room and steal moments here and there with the patient, so as to make sure their NOT alone at the time of passing (that being said, it doesn't always happen either). Family are invited to come and spend as much time as possible, not talking, but sitting there holding a hand, wiping a brow, just being there.

It's NOT a nice time, far from it, but it can be made tolerable for everybody.

Cheers

 
Old 01-14-2007, 09:50 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,439
WannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB User
Re: end stage

Hi to Everyone,

I do feel for you with your husband apparently at end stage, Jsvn. And your mom, Martha. I think Angel Bear said it best! We love them and do not want them to go, but hopefully the NH, will make it the easiest way possible.

Take care to all of you and I am think of yall.

Love, Wannabe

 
Old 01-17-2007, 09:28 PM   #7
mim mim is offline
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
mim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 741
mim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB User
Re: end stage

The end stage is the hardest in many ways because we know it is coming soon and we must say our final goodbyes. Doctors rarely get it exact of course, but I found that the hospice workers were so much more able to predict the time which I guess is from experience. I was the caretaker for my Nana since she stayed in assisted living. With the care of wonderfully kind staff, volunteer church ladies (she was a devout Christian to the end), and hospice we were able to make her last week very comfortable. At first I would give her ice chips if she seemed ok with it a few small bits at a time to cool her mouth and give her some hydration, but other than a minimal amount of pain medicine she appeared quite at peace to lay on her side and let you stroke her head, or moisten her lips with special swabs. The church ladies often would drop in while I was at work and would read encouraging scriptures and psalms, and one particularly sweet cna would sing hymns for her as she changed her bedding and diaper. I was able to feel a great measure of comfort knowing that her wishes to not have any unnecessary measures to prolong her time were honored and she was allowed to slip away quietly while a lady was praying over/with her. I was sad to have missed her passing by minutes, but knew she was beyond this world and healthy and happy again. She never exhibited pain from not wanting to eat and had gone entirely on Ensure 2weeks before passing. My mother died 4 years earlier of cancer, and she too lost her appetite and was content with ice chips and eventually just the moistened swabs. I know this is such a hard time for you, but know that the pain of this life is going to become the joy of the next. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mim Gregg

 
Old 01-18-2007, 03:41 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: end stage

Dear Mim,

Thank you so much for sharing your Mom's and your Nana's experiences. Now I have a better idea of what to expect when my Mom gets a little further along this road. I plan to be with her as much as possible at that point ...

Love,

Martha

 
Old 01-18-2007, 01:56 PM   #9
mim mim is offline
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
mim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 741
mim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB Usermim HB User
Re: end stage

You are so welcome Martha. It has taken me a while to deal with losing my mother, grandmother and great grandmother in a 4 year span. I became the "matriarch" of the family at 34. I know that it helps to have any information to guide you in something that most people have little or no experience in. I hope I give positive and hopeful information to others when I post and any time it helps someone it makes all that we go through understandable and eases some of the pain. Take care and enjoy the good times, forget the bad times and take care of yourself too!
MimGregg

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Prostate Cancer Stage and Treatment Route jawhik Cancer: Prostate 10 12-01-2010 10:16 AM
How much stage 4 sleep? CCJJ Sleep Disorders 3 11-15-2008 05:49 PM
Does your pain get worse as you progress from stage 1 to 2 to 3? numbing hands Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) (CRPS) 15 08-06-2007 07:57 PM
When does baby start Stage 2 foods and juice? OrangeCouture Infant Care (up to 18 months old) 10 11-06-2006 01:49 PM
stage 1V nsclc...brain mets....unreal story and need advice and help too angelmama39 Cancer: Lung 15 09-14-2006 04:13 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Aricept
Aspirin
Ativan
Morphine
Namenda
  Reminyl
Risperdal Seroquel
Xanax
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Gabriel (757), ninamarc (157), Martha H (124), meg1230 (93), angel_bear (68), jagsmu (55), Beginning (51), TC08 (44), ibake&pray (43), debbie g (37)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (997), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (832), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (745), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:35 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!