It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-20-2007, 03:27 PM   #1
UJG UJG is offline
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 62
UJG HB User
Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

Hi Everyone!

So here's the deal. I just moved in with my 82 yo Dad who has what appears to be late 5 stage Alz or Dementia. I'm ihs 26 yo son, by the way. I brought him to his primary care physician, who did a mini memory screening and detected some memory loss. He scheduled an appointment with a neuro-psychologist, prescribed Aricept, and said he thought we were looking at Early stages of Alzheimers. I have a couple topics to post on, but I'll stick to one for now. Is it likely that he said "early" stages to avoid upsetting my dad, or do you think he got the wrong impression based on the test results and the limited number of examples of memory loss I gave him? I didn't want to blurt out every embarrasing thing that my dad has done since I moved in with him 3 months ago, because it seems disrespectful. Am I allowed to talk to the doc alone for 5 mins or does that violate patient/doctor priveleges? I wish he was in the early stages, but he drools, lays his hands in his food without feeling that he's doing it, can't cook, can't pay bills, can't hold a "real" convo, can't feel if food is on his face, cant drive, occasionally wakes up an hour after heading to bed and gets dressed thinking it's 10 am instead of 10 pm (picture him pulling his pants on stumbling into the living room: "Sorry I overslept! Let's get some breakfast in our bellies!")

I'm hoping the Neuro-psych exam will give the docs a better understanding of how far along he is than the mini-memory screening. FYI, the Mini-memory screening including an animal fluency portion (where you name as many animals as possible in 60 secs). He "failed" the overall screening, but "passed" the animal fluency section with flying colors, which is also supposed to be the most accurate part of the screening. I read only 9% of persons with Alz can name over 15 animals, and he named 17. I also heard that of those 9%, a large portion were well educated/read, and my dad owned a used bookstore and read tons.

Anyway, thanks for listening, and for any feedback! You guys are great! If you have any questions or anything, ask away. I'll be checking the board regularly.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-20-2007, 05:32 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

One idea is to write down what you have seen and hand it to the doctor's receptionist when you get to the waiting room. As your dad goes to sit down, say "I really need Dr X to have a look at this before we talk!"

I used to usher my Mom out of the examining rooms into the waiting room after her exam, then I told her to sit tight while I phoned for a cab. Meanwhile I went back to the doc and told him anything Mom wasn't allowed to hear - things we didn't want to upset her with.

You seem to have the right instinct - do not do or say anything that might upset your dad. You could print the '7 stages' list and highlight things you are seeing and take it with you to the neuro psych.

Are you in Australia? One or 2 of our steady posters are from Down Under and use that term (neuro psychiatrist) which I think is not used here in the States.

GOOD luck! Sorry you have to deal with this at your young age - my youngest of 3 children is older than you. I was 61 when I moved in with my Mom as she began to lose her rationality ... it is a long hard road. God bless you!

Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 01-20-2007 at 05:34 PM.

 
Old 01-20-2007, 06:02 PM   #3
UJG UJG is offline
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 62
UJG HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

Thanks for the ideas, Martha. Using notes seems to be a fairly popular way of dealing with this. I originally thought that my father was lying to the doctor about his memory to hide the problem, but I've learned that he's mostly just forgetting that he's forgetting.

I'm not in Australia, but would like to go someday! I grew up in NYC and Baltimore, and moved three months ago in with dad, just outside of Madison, WI. It's tough at any age to be a cargiver, but being young and not tied down to a career made the move a little easier. And, thankfully, my girlfriend moved out here with me.

 
Old 01-20-2007, 07:35 PM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: rochester ny usa
Posts: 15
joannita HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

My dh has declined markedly so as we are going into the three month visits w his various specialists, I discretely tell the receptioninst I need to talk to the dr first. My dh thinks I am off to the ladies' room. I also have called the drs before visits. I too do not want to shame my dh.

 
Old 01-21-2007, 12:29 AM   #5
UJG UJG is offline
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 62
UJG HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

Hi Joannita,

Stupid question, but what does "dh" stand for? I've been seeing people refer to their "dh" for months on this board without knowing who theyre talking about...


 
Old 01-21-2007, 03:56 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

It took me a while to decipher the shorthand -

dh is dear husband
SIL is sister in law
BIL brother in law
NH is nursing home
AL is assisted living

and many more I still don't understand!!!

 
Old 01-21-2007, 04:32 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
angel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB Userangel_bear HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

there is also:

dd = dear daughter
ds = dear son
MIL = Mother In Law
btw = By the Way
imho = In my humble opinion

and of course .. even MORE ..

Cheers

 
Old 01-21-2007, 05:53 AM   #8
cyt cyt is offline
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 254
cyt HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

FIL is Father-in-law, and here all this time I thought DH stood for "Dumb Husband" Oops!

 
Old 01-21-2007, 06:44 AM   #9
UJG UJG is offline
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 62
UJG HB User
Re: Any tips for talking to the Doc about dad?

I was thinking "Demented Husband." "Dear Husband" sounds much nicer though.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Tips from a long-term sufferer Gouramifeeder Depression Tips 0 09-10-2008 02:31 AM
Diaphram Tips? Atti11 Birth Control 0 11-08-2007 09:10 AM
Dealing With Doctor Tips, Anyone??? jam338 Fibromyalgia 3 06-24-2007 09:49 AM
Effexor Withdrawal Tips - Do's and Don'ts Sandalla Depression 725 07-09-2005 10:18 AM
nails without tips shootingstar30 Nail Problems 0 04-26-2005 07:25 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Aricept
Aspirin
Ativan
Morphine
Namenda
  Reminyl
Risperdal Seroquel
Xanax
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Gabriel (758), ninamarc (157), Martha H (124), meg1230 (93), angel_bear (68), jagsmu (55), Beginning (51), TC08 (44), ibake&pray (43), debbie g (37)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:19 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!