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Old 01-25-2007, 02:56 AM   #1
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zonk HB User
questions for the NH?

I would love all suggestions please
I placed mum permanently 11 days ago(in a secure lockdown unit) and have not been to visit or rang the NH since then (they have rung me a couple of times with reassuring news) as they do, hopefully
Obviously I need to start initiating comunication as it is coming up 2 weeks...that is how long they would like to assess new residents.
I would like to ask them all about the little things, is she getting upset,(she suffers anxiety but is on meds) does she ask after my brother and I, is she able to join the general wing, at what level do you assess her dementia
how is her ADL assessment?
have her meds been renewed?
can she dress herself? she previously could at my brothers but not at mine.
do the other residents scare her?
I think the other residents are more advanced...my DH disagrees, he reckons she is just like them.....
These feel like trivial anxious caregiver questions that they must get tired of answering.
I would like my questions to be relevant and not emotionally generated
Please let me know if I have forgotten anything I should ask prior to my first visit
Kind regards,
Jo

 
Old 01-25-2007, 04:30 AM   #2
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Re: questions for the NH?

I live far away from the NH where my Mom is, and only get to visit a few times a year. When I'm there I sit with her for hours each day. I have learned far more just by silently observing the way the nurses and aides treat her and the other residents.

I have been pleasantly surprised with what I saw. The nurses are very loving and caring. They act as if Mom were their own grandmother. They do little extra things such as spraying eau de cologne on her to make her feel pretty. I didn't realise this until one aide told me to please bring more cologne, Mom's was nearly gone and she enjoys it so much.

I also made a point of observing how residents were being treated whose daughter was NOT sitting with them. All were treated with dignity and repect. One man continually cried, at lunch, out in the yard, in the lounge. Every nurse or aide who went by tried her best to cheer him up.

You can talk to the person in charge and ask all the medical questions, but while you are with her, the feeling of the place is more important than what she may tell you, since she has Dementia and will make up stories.

I think you made the right decision to have her in a safe place. Don't worry if she seems upset when she sees you - it is not because she is angry at you, but because she dimly remembers being with you in a different place and wishes she could be back there. Mpm feels so at home in the NH that after a recent stay in a hospital she said 'I am so glad to be back home' when they brought her back to the NH.

Good luck!

Love,

Martha

 
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Old 01-25-2007, 04:52 AM   #3
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Re: questions for the NH?

Oh Zonk, Zonk, Zonk ...

Go visit. You don't have to see Mum ... there might even be a one way mirrored area where you could view Mum but she won't know your there ... if you visit in person they can give you better answers .. the trouble with phone calls is the Privacy & Confidentility Act. You can't prove your YOU on the phone, so if you get ANY information it will all be 'positive and upbeat' whilst not actually telling you anything.

Well, that's what they're SUPPOSED to do LOL, Me? I am quite confident I know I am speaking to the proper family member, and I'm honest and don't beat around the bush. I do know the politics of each family, and respect that some dont' want to HEAR the truth. It's just something you pick up.

Assessments can take up to 6 weeks before anything is put into PLACE for her Care plan, because it takes a person up to that long to settle down into the new routine (some take longer, some never get it, some settle immediately). Sleep Assessments, Continence Assessments, Behaviour Assessments (and there is LOADS of them to choose from).

You can, if you have POA request a phone call from the Case Manager on ANYTHING that happens/is to happen/is planned for Mum. It's the least they can do. They should, shortly, be having a Case Conference to discuss Mum (without Mum actually being present for this). You can air your views, your requests, YOUR needs. Part of their Duty of Care is to also support the family members. This means you!

Not knowing your Mum, there's a lot of questions that can't be answered here, but they are all good valid questions to ask the NH. I suggest you give them a ring on Monday (Case Managers almost always only work Monday to Friday) ~ (for our overseas friends, Friday is a Public Holiday as it is Australia Day for us tomorrow)

Quote:
These feel like trivial anxious caregiver questions that they must get tired of answering
Further from the truth .. it means we know you really do CARE.

Hugs .. hope I have helped a wee bit

 
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