So I finally got the courage up to go see my mum! 3 weeks after permanent placement
DH came with me but I was so scared anyway.
scared that she would cry, scared that she would ask to go home etc etc
its just so hard emotionally (I took tissues just in case but I didnt need them! yay!"
well........the nurse spotted us coming in(I forgot the code for the lock) and told my mum...you have visitors
she practically ran to me (not literally of course)arms outstretched calling out "its my sister its my sister!!!) (she has no siblings)
Obviously knowing I am a significant female relative
she said " I havent seen you for so long!"
she actually conversed with me!!
she told me some of the other residents were a bit odd, and we talked about the weather and judy garland and gardens and stuff and when I said I had to go and that I would come back next week she just said OK! she told me they were looking after her well! OMG!
angel said she might get a bit better or worse upon being placed but I was STUNNED!
DH pointed out that not all visits might go so well but now I know I can do it and I will visit her every week
(fortunately only a 20 min drive away)
we also suspect her meds have been changed cause she could actually carry on a conversation...I will meet with the NH next week and find out.
we also talked about the golf as there is some womans comp going on at the moment and she said "Paul used to play golf"
It was actually my father that was a golf addict, he died from a brain tumour 4 1/2 years ago- Paul is my brother
so now I have actually visited her and survived emotionally intact
I have also had a bit of a social life happening...
I have told my new and old friends about how much this forum has helped.
I try not to talk about mum too much but if someone asks me I cant help but drone on about mum...but on friday night I didnt talk about her once!
thankyou, all of you, for sharing your wisdom and experiences,
I now feel calm and in control but I know that huge decisions will come to me and you will all help me through.