Martha H

Dear Min,

My Mom didn't talk at night - she kept me awake by making other kinds of noise. Deciding to rearrage her dresser drawers, taking everything out and putting it all back, involving a lot of movement, dropping things, noises. (we had adjoining bedrooms with no closable door between them) .. or she went to the kitchen and dumped out all the flatware (LOUD) and rearranged it in the drawer in a different way, with no noticeable plan - forks, knives and spoons all jumbled up together. Or, she decided to check in her wallet, and then came to wake me up and tell me she didn't have enough money for the next day. Or, she shone a flashlight in my face at night, woke me up, loudly demanding to know who I was and why I was in her house.

No one can really understand how it feels to be sleepless for many nights in a row until they experience it. My sister always said "NO Sleeping Pills - she is already confused enough". But she lived far away. Still, I didn't want to ask her doctor for yet another drug, and was also afraid to use over the counter remedies. Drugs checked out on 40 year old drug test volunteers often work entirely differently on 95 year old tiny little old ladfies - and there are no drug tests made using this small sample group. As my brother says, Mom has hardly any age contemporaries, they are all dead.

I am not sure if the NH gives her a sleeping pill. But now that she cannot walk or get out of bed without help, if she is awake, she isn't bothering anybody. My brother says that he often finds her asleep in the daytime when he goes to see her. I'll be there soon and will find out more.

It is wonderful of you to try to keep her at home, but eventually you have to be open to other solutions. Maybe a sleeping pill that makes her drowsy the next day is preferable over taking her to live in a nursing home. There may be an answer halfway in between. I wish I could help you more.

love,

Martha