 Re: Need Help With Understand Final Stages Of Life
Nancy Carter,
My father just died from alzheimers (actually they stated another reason for his death). About 1 mo. before his death, he ate very little. It had to be something he really liked. Like: ice cream, pudding, iced tea, little pieces of fruit. Only little bits, like: 2 - 1/2 tsp. of one thing and 2 - 1/2 tsp. of another, and then only a little liquid. Like holding your finger over the top of the straw and then putting the other end in his mouth. Then, about the last 4 days, he would eat and drink nothing.
I have been told it does not hurt dying people to not eat for weeks. The nurses did put the wet sponges on a stick in and on his mouth. He would not and then could not swallow pills. So, it was none for a while, then when he was in pain (trying to swallow bits of food) and making faces like it tasted bad, we did not even try to feed him.
Hospice was called for my dad (by me) on a Sat. morning, and they put him on 24 hr. critical care and morphine by 8 pm that night. I wanted him to never be in pain. They gave him morphine whenever they saw the slightest little sign (those hospice nurses are pro at that). I had learned a lot from all the ladies/caregivers on this and another alz. forum, and knew the signs to look for and when I did not, I would ask. What harm can it do, to give an alzheimers patient/loved one, too much morphine?! They are going to die...
In my opinion, you should never Force Feed an alz. patient. I would just say, take one bite, and if you do not like it, then you do not have to have anymore. I would also hate to feed an alz patient by tube, in nose, mouth or hole in stomach. And no tying of hands unless absolutely necessary and then only for a short time.
I must say that I was/am the forceful type, when it comes to the comfort of my dad!!! I would say that I was a real pain in the butt, whenever my dad was not being treated fast enuf or well enuf!
Sorry to have gone on so long, just do and ask to be done, what you think is in the best interest of your loved one. Think about what you would like to have done to you in such a situation.
Take care of you. Be sure and tell your FIL, that he can go home now, or go to God, or some such phrase!
Love, Wannabe
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