Hanging On - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Martha H · 10-10-2007, 12:47 PM

Update on my Mom - we now think she is only clinging to life because somewhere in her confusion she knows it will be her 99th birthday on October 22. She sleeps most of the time, hardly ever leaves her bed, eats virtually nothing, drinks hardly at all - yet she is still alive.

I never knew that this would be such a slow drawn out dying.

Love

Martha

Gabriel · 10-10-2007, 04:33 PM

Thank you for the update Martha. My thoughts and prayers still go out for you and your Mom.

Love, Deb

cyt · 10-10-2007, 07:12 PM

So sorry Martha - I know it's hard. I will say a prayer for your Mom tonight, and for you too. Cindy

petal*pusher · 10-10-2007, 08:24 PM

I wondered how your Mom was doing Martha...but hesitated to ask...I'm glad you let us know. Somewhere in those tangled minds, there seems to be remnants of happily shared days...and I bet you're right that she knows that birthday is coming up.

So glad that you and your daughter were able to say goodbyes...so many who loose loved ones feel the guilt of "I wish I would haves".

You and your family remain in my prayers.....sending love your way, Pam

DeannaSusannah · 10-10-2007, 08:46 PM

Hi everyone. This is the first time I have been in this forum although I regularly get email from the Alzheimer's Association. I went to New Orleans in early June to get my ex-husband of 30+ years and bring him to NC to live with me because he could no longer stay by himself and there was no one else who was willing/able to care for him. I had him at my home for one month and then I put him in the hospital because his BP and heart rate was almost nonexistent. He was there one week and then the staff said they really wanted him to go to a nursing home because I have no one to help me and I have my own health problems.

He has acclimated well to the nursing home environment but each day I see a declline in his mental status. He doesn't really know who I am. He knows I'm the lady who brings him Oreo's and lets him hug me and hold me. He doesn't remember that we were ever married. For a time he remembered who our son was when I showed him a picture but he no longer knows who that person is. He doesn't recognize himself in photos. I showed him some of our wedding pictures and he asked me who was that guy. I told him it was him a long time ago and he got a frown on his face and said, "You didn't tell me you were going to put me in the paper." Told him it was a long time ago and not to worry so he didn't.

I go to see him at least every other day because I don't want him to forget me...the person he knows as me. It's sad to watch him go down a little more each day but I seem to have disconnected. Perhaps this is my way of protecting myself. I would hope I've not become unfeeling. All I know is that I feel guilty for not being there as much as possible and for detaching. I was talking to one of his nurses today and I asked how his general health was doing. She said he was pretty healthy. I said, "Damn!" She understood.

Don't know what I want from this forum. Perhaps just to vent. Do any of you feel the same way as do I? It's been years and years since we were together but we've always remained friends and we've always loved each other in some way that is at times indescribable.

Okay. I've finished.