When they seem suicidal - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Dingoes · 11-05-2007, 09:36 PM

My grandmother (stage 5/6), 92, has recently started saying she no longer wants to live, which is really distressing for me to hear because my mother (her daughter) committed suicide in her 30s and it's just opening some cans of worms for me I'd rather stay dormant.

She doesn't say it all the time and doesn't turn down food or water. But a part of me takes what she says seriously and it worries me about the future, when she's released from NH rehab (which she hates) back to my home.

Is it common for AD patients to be suicidal? She's not all that mobile so I think it would be difficult for her to actually act on any impulses, but what if I'm wrong about that? Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

Gabriel · 11-06-2007, 12:02 AM

I went through this with my Mom. Hers were more manic episodes in which she cried, refused to eat, and even became hysterica. Her doctor changed her depression medication twice and she has since moved to assisted living which she is enjoying. She has no memories of the threats she made that are still burned into my memory.

Depression is not directly caused by ALZ though ALZ patients can suffer from depression. The diagnosis and difficulties inherent in ALZ can cause some to want to give up. My grandmother nor my dad had any signs of depression. My Mom, on the other hand has had bouts of depression since she realized she had cognitive impairment. She hid her inabilities for years and the doctor misdiagnosed her with depression. ALZ was her worst fear and it terrifies her to lose her independence. Her last bout with depression was over losing her driving priviledges. I am not sure if it was her last medication change or her move to Assisted Living (she feels she got her independence back) or maybe both but Mom is much better today. Your grandmother may be verbalizing her dislike for the rehab the best way she knows how. You need to contact your grandmother's doctor and make sure he is aware of her thoughts and see how he advises you.

I am truly sorry about your Mom and that your grandmother is going through this difficult time. Know you are not alone and my thoughts and prayers go with you.

Love, Deb

angel_bear · 11-06-2007, 02:18 AM

There are some really good antidepressants out there specifically for AD/Dementia patients ... I have seen people laying on their bed totally miserable wishing life would end soon, yet 2 weeks later bouncing around happy.

Does she have a pet? One lady I know discovered a cat and that pulled her out of her funk along with antidepressants.

Nothing wrong with taking stuff to make 'em feel happier. They really don't have much left eh?

Cheers

Dingoes · 11-06-2007, 07:44 AM

She now takes anti-depression meds (which I think should be in the water supply <g>, I'm on them myself and they help a lot) along with her AD meds, so maybe those will start working in the next week or two -- she's been on them for only a week now and I know it takes time for them to build up in a person's system.

I do think her expressing suicidal thoughts is directly related to the disease, since she never said anything like this before, even when my mother (her daughter) killed herself and my uncle (her son) died a long, slow, miserable death from brain cancer. (Now you can see why I'm trying to do everything I can to make her as happy as possible for the remainder of her life...) But I'm wondering if it's dementia (which is possible) or if it's the reaction TO the dementia (which is understandable).

Gads. Either way, this STINKS!!!

And yes, angel bear, she has a pet -- I got a kitten when she moved here specifically for her, and since then we also took in a stray pregnant cat who had five kittens who are now four weeks old, so they'll also be around till they're weaned. That does seem to be the light of her life, watching and playing with the animals.

Gabriel · 11-06-2007, 09:27 AM

I think I understand your question better now. Yes, the symptoms of dementia and depression are very similar and persons are misdiagnosed because of that. Dementia patients can be depressed and depressed people can have dementia as well. As the doctor told us, the difference is that depression is treatable. We did see an improvement in Mom's disposition within a few weeks but she still has her cognitive impairments. She has been on ALZ medications for about a year and it is unclear if they are helping but she tolerates them well.

Did your grandmother just receive a diagnosis of dementia? Why is she in a NH rehab and how long has she been there? You stated that she hates being in the NH rehab. The answer may be in these questions. ALZ diagnosis can carry with it a tremendous loss of control, independence, personhood, and self esteem. In moments of awareness it is very difficult to accept what is happeneing in the ALZ brain. My mom has an understanding of what is happening to her that comes and goes. Those moments of awareness triggered very negative emotions and she reacted to those emotions in the best way she can. She truly would rather be dead than live with a disease that took her Mom, sister, and husband away from her. She is now living in her worst nightmare. We could not fix the nightmare she is living in but medication has helped her manage her negative emotions.

What has also helped my Mom is giving her back her sense of independence and personal worthyness by moving into assisted living. She never wanted to be a burden on others like others were on her. She also needed the socialization that she was not getting because she was trying to keep Dad at home. She had become very isolated. She has also lost the burden of having to do many daily activies such as cooking which had become difficult for her. Lastly it gave her back her sense of pride. She hated having a sitter and somebody drive her around where all her friends could see. She saw her self as dysfunctional in a functional world. Now she sees herself as functional in a disfunctional world. You have to find what works for you and your love one.

Hope this helps and again you are not alone.

Love, Deb