My grandfather - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

alone22 · 11-15-2007, 12:46 PM

I am assisting in the care of my grandfather. He was recently given the official diagnosis of Alzheimers. I may be wrong but I think he is progressing quickly into his dimentia. Lately, within the past two months, he is suddenly not sleeping throgh the nights and he is getting confused and defensive.
The thing with his sleeping: he wakes up almost every hour throughout the night convinced that it is day time and that he needs to wake up. When we try to explain to him that it is still night he gets defensive and says things like, " why wont you let me be awake". We cant let him stay up all night like he seems to want to. He just sits in his chair and falls asleep. In his chair his legs hang down and it causes concern of a potential blood clot since he sits that way all day as well. He doesnt understand that he needs to lay in be and get a full nights sleep. THe nights that he wakes up often, which is almost every night lately, he hallucinates more during his waking hours. He sees people that aren't there and things that arent real.
He quit taking showers a year or more ago. He refuses to get anywhere near the shower, even with assistance. Im not sure what is scaring him or what is causing his aversion.
He is even starting to lose control of his bodily functions. He doesnt remember he has to go to the bathroom until it is too late.
I dont know what to do to help him or to get him to "see" things less. How can i help him to slow down his decline? What can I do?

Gabriel · 11-15-2007, 02:09 PM

I am sorry to say that you can not slow down the decline and you can not make him see your point of view. He is where he is. You just need new strategies for dealing what the current situation.

As for sleeping. You can talk to his doctor about giving him a light weight sleeping pill. That may be enough to get him a good night's sleep in the bed. I never had that problem with my Dad..... he slept like a log for 10 hours or more a night. But I can relate to the aggressions and aggitation. Dad is doing so much better on medication for anxiety and paranoia. We ony give it to him late afternoon and it has been amazing the difference (as soon as they found the right med in the right dosage).

Dad also resist showering. We have to catch him before he puts on his clothes in the morning. Then convince him there is something for him to do during the day that he needs a shower for. Lastly we pick out what he needs to put on. Once his clothes are picked out for him and in the bathroom he does not argue as much. Also you might want to check with Hospic. I understand they provide a few hours of help a day for late state ALZ patience. A friend of mine used this service and they were reponsible for giving her Mom her bath and getting her dressed. They were also valuable with tips on how to deal with other problems during the day.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. There are great people on this board with great ideas and even better ears and shoulders. Know I keep you in my thoughts and prayers......

Love, Deb

rumpled · 11-16-2007, 10:31 AM

Do get professional help. My MIL was this way with the sleep and kept asking to go to the bathroom even if she had just been and did not need to go. She was up all night and slept all day. Losing the ability to hold one's continence is a sign that things are progressing and you need to get them in diapers, make sure they are clean (one person will find this hard if he is combattive) and she used to wail like a soaked cat in the shower. But you need to be clean to prevent infections and to check to bedsores and things.
We had to consult with a psychiatrist to get the right mix of drugs to get her calm but my MIL also suffered from depression and wailed a lot and would repeat names and would scream a lot. Having other people around, getting socialization yet keeping a schedule is very important. Sad to say, a nursing home environment is probably better at that in some ways as there is much more help there as long as it is well monitored by family. There are also day care services too. But you do need to call in professional help.

alone22 · 11-16-2007, 01:21 PM

my grandfather has to go through the VA hospital to get a lot of his meds because of prices and stuff. We are having a problem with the psychiatrist there. He refuses to accept the outside doctors diagnosis of alzheimers and wont give my grandfather the medication he needs. We are having to pay full cost for his medications since the VA wont give him what he needs. I dont know why the Vetrans hospital is being so resistant to this but they are. Until they make their own diagnosis we cant apply for outside help. He has no insurance other than what the vetrans hospital offers.

Martha H · 11-16-2007, 01:24 PM

Fear of water or washing seems to be common in AD patients. My Mom was really good at pretending to take a bath. But eventually it becomes noticeable and then the struggle began. Once she was at the NH she just allowed the nurses aides to wash her without a peep. I think it was because I was her daughter, she couldn't let go and admit to me that she couldn't do it.

I also heard that AD victims have fears of fallng into a hole. Any dark blue or black or other dark colored mat in front of the bathtub/shower might scare them. Some people even manage to keep a 'wanderer' in the house by placing black doormats in front of the door. This is seen as a 'hole' and avoided.

It may also be the confusion of 'what do I do?' For us it is so easy - but break it down and you will see that our bathing routine consists of many steps. First I go into the bathroom and remove all my clothes. The Dementia mind already has a conflict - what do I do with these clothes, what do I take off first, how do I open these buttons, etc. Then, step into the shower. It feels cold and uncomfortable. Then I turn on the water and work at getting a comfortable temperature before I switch it from 'faucet' to 'showerhead'. Then I have to use soap or shampoo, (which one, and where is it, and how do I get the cap off?) and then rinse. How can a dementia victim remember all that, and in the right order? And then turn the water OFF and step out and have to figure out what to do next. Dry myself, how, with what? Put on clothes? Which ones? It is all so overwhelming that she will just stay dirty instead.

Trying to see if from their point of view makes it so much easier to be sympathetic instead of argumentive (as I once was) ...

Love,

Martha