Advice Needed...LTC Nurse will do interview soon... - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

sunnydaze1 · 11-19-2007, 04:09 PM

In order for my mom to recieve benefits from her LTC Insurance Policy, she will need to be interviewed by a nurse. I spoke with the nurse to set up the appointment which is on the 28th of this month.

She would like me to be there, which I will be, but I'm so afraid that my mom will go into "cover it well" mode and the nurse won't see what I see.

Being that she isn't on any kind of med for her dementia, nor even had a diagnosis of it, I'm worried that the benefits may be turned down.

I plan on making a list of all the reasons why AL is the best place for my mom due to the way she wasn't able to care for herself; overmedicating; etc.

Has anyone had experience with the interview? Thanks in advance.

Gabriel · 11-19-2007, 04:49 PM

We just went through that with Mom and she was in major "cover it up" mode!! There was a paper she had to fill out and then one my sisters completed as well as other information they gathered. We did have a diagnosis from MARS that extensively explained her cognitive inabilities.

According to Mom's portion of the application she had not depression (though she has been on depression medication for several years now), she was not forgetful, and had no trouble doing anything including finances. Her day normally included walking 5 miles (maybe 5 years ago), sewing (which she has not done in years), volunteering (which she gave up years ago), and swimming (I never remember seeing my mom in the water).

They did ask her to subtract numbers that involved borrowing and perform other task that would be difficult for someone with dementia but simple for somebody without dementia. She failed them all.

She was approved and we are 75 days into our 90 day waiting period. Evidently they put a lot more weight on the doctor's evaluation, family input, and other information they receive. I think they are very aware that a dementia patience thinks they are fine.... and the rest of the world has gone crazy around them. Give them all the documentation that you can and good luck with the interview and I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Love, Deb

sunnydaze1 · 11-19-2007, 07:52 PM

Thank you Deb, so much! After having mom placed in the facility; I squirm to think it might fall all apart when mom goes into her "professional business mode". At the same time, I don't want to humiliate my mom by bringing up all these things that she cannot understand or comprehend right in front of her.

What do you think if I kind of forwarn mom that some issues will come up and I have to be honest with my opinions, just so she will be prepared that I will say some things that aren't very flattering to her? I won't down right humiliate her, of course, but I sure don't want the nurse to think I'm trying to milk this and not take care of her on my own.

Mom is still very aware of her surroundings; people, places, etc....so she isn't that far out of the loop yet. Amazing how well she can cope when she needs to, but when asked to do a task as simple as turning on a light switch, she can't!

Gabriel · 11-19-2007, 09:10 PM

If I remember correctly the nurse talked to my sister separate from Mom. There were forms for both to fill out so Mom was busy while my sister was doing her part. The testing was done with my sister there. It was simple math, orientation, and memory test, but just like the light switch, very much the types of things a loved one with dementia could not deal with. I am not sure it is necessary to exaplain anything like you suggested to your Mom.

My mom handles some things well and other things not so well. She has better days and not so good days. She knew where she was but not what day it was though she knew the year. The math was far beyond her grasp and she only got a few correct on the memory test. We were unsure about the outcome but shortly thereafter received a letter saying her LTC was approved.

Mom was a bookkeeper all of her life. Her lost look when they ask her to subtract was the probably the most important moment of that interview. It was a huge statment about how far she had slipped. So they will take her professional status into account when they make their assessment. Intellegence does not go away... just the ability to use it. My mom is the master manipulator and can go into "cover" mode but they saw right through it all. That is what they are trained to do!!! So don't worry.... they know what they are doing and do it in a very professional manner that does not embarass the patience.

Be sure to let me know how it goes and know I will keep you both in my prayers....

Love, Deb

angel_bear · 11-20-2007, 01:31 AM

Don't forget, these people ARE trained to spot the 'bluff behaviour', but whatever you do DON'T STEP IN !!!

My BIL tried that when MIL was being assessed. The Nurse asked MIL to make her a cup of tea. MIL just looked at her. Nurse repeated the question. BIL stepped in and said "I'll put the kettle on" Nurse said "No, let Mum do it", he didn't like that much but kept prompting MIL ..."here, in the kitchen, turn it on"

Meanwhile, MIL got a piece of fruit from the fruit bowl and ate it, showing how WELL she could eat.

Did anybody get a cuppa? nope.

BTW .. I was told to STAY AWAY (like I was going to influence anything!) so I sat on the stairs, listened in and played 'spy' watching reflections.

MIL failed miserably (or passed, depends which way you look at it) but when the Nurse was doing the assessment, BIL stuck his beak in and said "oh she can do that, this and that, she's just having a bad day today" and so the nurse was FORCED to make her Low-Care (not needing NH quickly).

That being said, it did qualify her for respite care, and from THERE, with NO INTERFERENCE from anybody, it all quickly went to pieces and MIL got placed, as she should have been.

Be patient. All will be revealed LOL