Hi Dee Dee,
Sorry that Mum's deteriorating.
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Her hand and arm are swelled twice their normal size, and she is in pain, which they are treating. Basically the doctor told her that this is it for my Mom. She has a living will, no feeding tube etc. They are trying to keep her as comfortable as possible.
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This is great. The doctors aren't going to prolong her life and are treating her pain, as they should. She should become more comfortable within herself shortly, although you may visualise her deterioration, if she's comfortable 'inside', then whatever is happening 'outside' won't affect her.
Her inability to swallow is her body's way of saying "enough is enough, it's time to go". They can try thickening her fluid and food, but if she truly is on that last journey, then feeding her will be painful and she runs the risk of aspirating her fluid/food and getting aspiration pneumonia which in itself is painful and most unpleasant.
Hold her hand. Be there. Talk to her. Be whoever she wants you to be. Bring her peace.Let her go.
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