letter from doctor - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

craftlady · 04-21-2008, 03:23 PM

Hi all, this is the body of the letter moms doc sent me.

I am writing regarding your mothers situation. From my understanding, she has gotten to the point where she is not safe to live at home and requires 24 hr supervision. I feel she is a vulnerable adult and the best sort of setting for her now would be a locked assisted living or a nursing home. I think that she may have some improvement with regular administration of medication but she is not deemed reliable to administer this to herself on any kind of ongoing basis. You as power of attorney should have authority to help into a institution. I think that the county social service department may be able to assist you as well. If necessary, your mother might be hospitalized on a 72 hr hold in order to facilitate her entry into as assisted living or nursing home setting.

I contacted a Elder Attorney with questions about what and how I should go about things. He told me that even with her being deem incompetent she can still revock(sp?) the POA at any time. So I might not be able to get her the help she need. I might need to get gardianship of her. Which is something I cant afford. Over $2000.00 to start the case. He also told me that any assets that she has they will take for her care. (something I already knew). She has enough assets that she doesnt qualifie for any state assistants. Theres not much in assests only enough for 3-4 months of care. He also told me that this is a big burden for a only child to have. (no kiddin, as if I didnt know that)

I just dont know what to do next. Should I go to the county social service and leave it in there hands and let them do what they see fit.

I feel so lost.

Janie5301 · 04-21-2008, 04:53 PM

Hey Craftlady,
The eldercare attorney is right but if your Mom doesn't know she can revoke the POA you should be able to take care of her. After all, she made you her POA to begin with and obviously thought you'd do the best for her. You could check with the county, but as you said, she probably won't qualify for anything as she has assets. Can the eldercare atty help with which direction you should go? Have you looked into any facilities in your area for your Mom? I know I have and they're pretty expensive. My plan is to keep my husband home until hospice can be called in and i also have adult day care in my home every day while I work. If I have to send him to a facility I know which one I like and feel real good about it but still have to figure out how to pay for it all. My husband is collecting SSI so that will help a little but obviously not enough. Hope this helps a little...you are in my prayers...
Love Janie

sunnydaze1 · 04-21-2008, 07:56 PM

If you could possibly get your mom to voluntarily go to an AL facility, it would probably be the best for you and her.

It's hard, I know...but I had to put the cards on the table with mom about 6 months ago and tell her that it was time for her to get the help that she needed that I could no longer do. Luckily, my mom put her trust in me to do the right thing.

She's gone from AL to a NH because the disease is progressing rather rapidly. But I knew that I didn't have the time or the emotions to help her out any more than I had being that I have a family of my own to care for.

Best of luck, and if you can convince her on your own; I think it will make all the difference in the world. Just my thoughts, of course, but it's worth a try.

Beginning · 04-22-2008, 04:39 AM

I think you should go to another attorney, since something seems mixed up here. An incompetent person can't revoke a durable POA. Nondurable POAs become ineffective automatically when a person becomes incompetent. If you had a nondurable POA, then guardianship is going to be necessary. It would be worth getting a 2nd opinion on the procedure and cost from someone else. You can check with your local Bar Association or a law school in the area to see if there is a low cost alternative. You can even call your local Probate, Surrogate, Family Court (whichever court handles guardianships in your area), and ask if they know of a low-cost alternative to become a guardian for a family member who is becoming incompetent. Some Courts have put short-form procedures in place for low-income people who have to do this stuff themselves.

The guardianship proceeding doesn't happen overnight, though, and it sounds like you need immediate help from someone.

Go through your phone book and see what resources may be available and then start calling. The national Alzheimers Association has a 24 hour hot line. Look for anything in your County or region for social services for the elderly, and call to ask for help or referrals. You can tell the County that she's approaching the need for help and the family doesn't have assets to assist, and see what they say. Start calling NHs for info. There are a lot of very caring people out there working in this field. You just need one of those caring people to work with, who will help her get into a safe NH.

craftlady · 04-23-2008, 04:02 AM

It is a Durable POA with an appointment of health care agent. I was just reading it again and it states in here that this is effective from the date of executed untill her death unless It is revoked in writing while competent. She cant even write a check or note on a piece of paper anymore, let alone a letter revoking it.
So I guess she cant revoke it, shes not competent.
Im going to call the ALZ asso. and see if they can direct me more.

Thanks everyone.