Torn up - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

craftlady · 05-06-2008, 07:52 PM

Hi all.
I know what I have to do, for moms safety and well being. Its just so hard. I am going to vulnarable adults of social services with the letter from the doctor. When mom asks me if I know who did it Im going to tell her that it must have been someone who lives in her area, they must have noticed how skinny she was and didnt know how to get ahold of any of her family. So they went to someone who they thought could help.
I hope she believes me.
Im going to bed to cry myself to sleep now. This is ripping me up so bad.

skimps46 · 05-06-2008, 09:14 PM

Oh, craftlady,

I am so sorry.

You are doing the right thing. Your head knows that. It's your heart that "don't have a clue", and your head and heart don't speak to each other. This must be so very difficult for you.

I wish I could help. Just add my name to all those who will be posting to support you. You are doing the very very best you can, and you are doing what is best for mom. If you DIDN'T do this, you KNOW something bad will happen, and you are doing the exactly right thing! As hard as this is, you gotta know that it's in mom's best interest.

I heard someone on tv today say that doing the right thing is most often the most difficult thing to do. If you take the easy way out, it's most often the wrong decision.

You are on the right side of this horrible dilemma.

My love, prayers and support are all yours...

...deb

ibake&pray · 05-07-2008, 07:01 AM

Craftlady,
Hurts like crap, doesn't it? Isn't it a shame that we have to do the dirty work so that our parents are taken care of? It feels like someone is ripping your heart out, just so you can be sure that your Mamma is safe and secure. Just in the name of safety.

Hon, don't let it eat you. YOu have done what we all have had to do. You are doing the right thing. If it wasn't the right thing it wouldn't hurt so much. Now you know that your mom will get the right care and have her needs met. I'm just sorry that it has to hurt so much. You know that it is the right thing to do though.

And don't tell your mom that you did it! That she will remember!

SO just keep that secret quiet. and wonder with her who it was that contacted the officials.

You are in my prayers. May your moms guardian angels keep her safe and may your give you comfort and peace. It will get better, trust me I know. The ache get smaller-mostly so that you have room to worry about something else...you have an amazing gift to grow in size of worry room. You have to when you have relatives with this disease. Normal people have just a small worry spot. AZ relavies have a HUGE worry area. We need to to cover all the bases that we have with these ill folks. The issues that we face are so much more diverse that normal children of aging parents face. They are almost unsurmountable and if we didn't have that extra capacity we would be overwhelmed.