It turned out to be a nice weekend with my parents. Dad's urinalysis was "dirty" and they want to believe it was from dehydration rather than a UTI but he is on Microbid anyway. They also discovered a drop in BP to 90/50 so they have reduced his BP medication. Both would explain his wobblyness and tiredness. I pushed liquids all weekend..... even buying a huge box of his beloved popsicles. I made sure the carbonated drinks were out of the apartment and gave him juices for meals rather than tea and coffee. Sunday we actually took him out of the facility for supper and he seemed to enjoy the trip. I know in my heart that he is just wearing out, slowing down, and the end will come sooner rather than later but it was good to see this little rebound.
As for Mom... there were NO tears this weekend. She did mention going home a few times but it was only in passing and easily diverted. We worked on a jigsaw puzzle. We we were close to finished (only a few pieces that were easily identified) I had to get up from helping her. She continued to work on it and "finished it herself". She was so pleased. I also coaxed Dad onto the patioi after meals, sat him with an old army buddy of his that lives down the hall, and convinced Mom that we needed to walk the track. Getting out and exercising definitely lifted her spirits. The trip out to supper Sunday did more good for her than for Dad. I left both of them happy Sunday evening.
I also made up my mind that if sister 4 wants to fight then she will have to fight with herself. I am done with the verbal jousting. I can never be right in her eyes but as long as I am right in my eye then that's ok. So I called Sunday, talked to her hubby, and invited them to come visit with us at AL since my daughter and her boyfriend were there also. She did show up and it went well. She opted not to go to supper with us (even when I offered to let her ride with me and then me take her back home) and that is ok. Sister 3 and her hubby did go to supper. So I have put that behind me and will respond to what is productive and ignore what is not. Today I start working on all the things that have been put on hold because of this situation.... like selling the house, van, getting some paper work in order, ect.
And it was good to spend an afternoon with my daughter and her boyfriend and good to spend three days visiting with my parents and seeing them smile.
OH Deb, how wonderful to have a stressles weekend with your folks. Doesn't is make the day brighter and the visit sunnier? You can smooth the wrinkles out of your handtowel now. It will feel better not having all those twists in it.
Sometimes all we need to do is to decide to let go of our anger or our issues. I have grown weary with issues and sometimes it takes more energy and anger than I am willing to expend on it. It is easier to just let it go. And sometimes some issues have run their course and are no longer valid "hate items." and they too, are non items. Sometimes the intensity dies and they just don't matter anymore. IT's just too bad that the other people don't realise that!
I am so happy for you for your weekend. It sounds like such a pleasant time. Treasure it and keep it close to your heart. They are special and need to be cherished.....wrapa clean towel around this one!
I'm so glad you had a good weekend with your family. Almost like a breath of fresh air isn't it? Like Ibake&pray said, sometime it's just easier to let things go and surrender to the people and things that goes on around us. Mostly we can't control them anyway so I guess we just find ways to work within the madness! When I realized early in my DH's diagnosis that there was nothing I could do to change his illness, it took me about a year to let it all go and just try and enjoy every day I could. When he was dying, I surrendered him up to God and asked him to take care of him now because it was his turn. This past Father's day was a bit hard, but my son is a father too so we celebrated with him and I enjoyed both my sons and my two granddaughters! Focus on the things you can change and just let the others go.
Thank you both. I know Dad is getting worse physically and I truly don't know how long that stubborn man will hang on but I hope he's still saying "I can get up by myself" until the end. I'm like you Janie. My head is security wraped around the situation and it is all wrapped in a towel to keep it secure. I am just thankful for every day I get to spend with him and will let the rest come as it may.
As far as anger goes... it takes too much energy that I don't have to spend. I actually though of you Ibake. When sister 4 sent me an e-mail from back in February to "prove her point" and I realized that she was actually reading old e-mails for validation I could hear you tell me. "Wrap that one in an old towel and throw it out!" Which is exactly what I did. Then I invited her to come to AL and go out to eat with us since my daughter was there.
I am pleased you enjoyed your family Janie. It's tough to go forward, especially on those special days, but those that are still here need us and we need them and that will get it through. We just need to remind each other frequently to focus on what we have.... maybe Ibake can print that on the next batch of towels because we are using up the current supply
Your weekend sounds wonderful. I'm headed to Moms for the day tomorrow. We have some business to take care of and maybe lunch. Sure hope my day goes as well as yours did. Those days are to be treasured. She wants to go shopping and buy "something". I ask her "what"and she said she doesn't know until she sees it..........LOL
Its so true what you all say about the anger taking just too much energy. I just don't have it anymore. Energy to spare I mean. Some things are just too long ago and too painful to revisit. Whats the point??
I love the "wrap a towel around that one and throw it away". Perfect.....
Focus on the positive........focus. I so hope we have a good day.
Deb, I'm so glad you took the "bull by the horns" so to speak! You did everything,; and then some, to do what's best for you, THE MAJOR CARETAKER! I'm so proud of you and hope the sale of the house and van goes smooth.
Thank Chris and Sunny. I had to laugh Chris.... I took Mom shopping on Saturday and had that same conversation. I wish for you a wonderful day with you Mom. I'll one up you and hope it's even better! ..... and don't forget your towel
Sunny, I am still working on grabbing the horns. It's a bit like nailing jello to a tree. But I am determined and it will eventually happen.
Amazingly I am again dealing with Mom's phone being unplugged. I called the facility three time today. The second time I talked to the director of the facility and explained to her it was my second call tonight, that I had spent 6 hour last week trying to get Mom's phone plugged back in and it was James that finally did it. She turned and ask somebody if James was working tonight. He's off. Guess what.... she didn't manage to get it plugged in either. I guess I will have to wait until James comes back to work So I will start again tomorrow morning since Mom and Dad are surely in bed. Tonight I am throwing in the towel.....
I called about Mom's phone not working again this morning and was told that somebody went to the room and the phone was not working. WELL DUH!!! That's why I called in the first place. I wanted to know WHY and what needed to be done to fix it. I finally got my answer when James came to work tonight. God Bless James!!!!! After the episode last week my sister moved the phone base..... and plugged it into an outlet that is controlled by a light switch. Mom had turned off the light. So dear sweet James moved the phone to an outlet that doesn't have a switch.
I had to laugh at Mom when I talked to her. She was trying so hard not to be at fault. She swore she didn't know the phone had been moved and probably didn't. She swore she didn't touch the light switch and probably did. She didn't remember anybody coming in the room about the phone until James showed up tonight but I know they did. Then she told me there was nothing wrong with her phone and at the moment there wasn't.
While on the phone Dad accused Mom of having his keys. She assumed he was talking about his old car/house keys and started yapping about home and the van. He couldn't hear what she said the first time so I prompted her to ask him to look in his pocket. He found the key he was looking for. The one with 376 printed on the tag. He was happy and said that was the key to where he was supposed to be. It truly made me feel good that he knows that is where he is supposed to be now and not taking about going back home. Then Mom got wrapped up in talking about the fact she needed a perm and everything else was forgotten. She finally gave the phone to Dad so he could tell me how much he loved me and what a great daughter I was. See why I wanted that phone working?
Well, Deb, I have to laugh. My mom's phone stopped working yesterday so she called me on her cell phone...yes, she has one, an antiquated one but she knows how to use it so we don't want to get her a newer version..we don't think she could remember how to use it... anyway, while we were on
the phone I tried to trouble shoot the problem..but to no avail.. So I got over there this morning and sure enough she had plugged the phone into the plug controlled by the light switch. Must be something going around huh?
I'm glad everyone is experiencing some good times...we have to sieze them while we can. My mom got sick and I took her to the doctor Monday monring..she went kicking and screaming...can't be easy can it?? Anyway, he gave her a Z-pak and she was better the next day..but CRABBY..OMG...crabby. She said she was never leaving her apartment again..I said okay. Not arguing. And, hurumph, she's never going to eat in the dining room again...I said okay..not arguing. She just called a few minutes ago and the crabby patty is gone and happy hannah is back...hooray!!! For now.
I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with that problem Meg. The phone has been a pain in my butt for over a week now. Sister 4 was there rearranging it today so hopefully.....
Mom was sick several times this past winter and then on antibiotics. I can so relate to the CRAB!!!! When Mom doesn't feel well the whole world pays the price. As soon as she's feeling better the world is a better place and she had no memory of the CRAB she was. I have learned to watch out for illnesses when the CRAB appears! I just hang on to a good hand towel to wrap up that crab until the antibiotics kick in