After a few good week's Mom is in another melt down. She has cried for two days. According to her Dad wants to go home (in reality it's her but she always transfers her emotions to Dad), she doesn't have any friends and no support system (four daughter's busting their butts for her is not enough). She refuses to use the call system of let the staff help her. She's hates staying in that room but.... she won't leave the room, thinks she needs to stay in the room because of Dad (even when the sitter is there), refuses to go to any activities.... and she refuses to even talk about Dad moving to a separate room. No matter what you try to do with or for her she just sits there and cries telling us that we don't know what depression is. For four years she has used that as her reasoning. Everything is Dad's fault of depression related. She even convinced her GP that she did not have ALZ, just depression for over 2 years. It's like she's stuck in that frame of mind that life is horrible and there's nothing that can be done about it so she's going to blame it on Dad and depression. She is on her fifth medication change in 10 months and the saga goes on. She is definitely in a funk and there is no talking her out of it. All she says is that she doesn't see why they can't just go home and die.
I have suggested, to sister 4 that doesn't like my suggestions, that Mom be tested for a UTI but this is such a familiar situation that I doubt that is the cause. I guess we are back to square one......
I leave in the morning to help my daughter clean out a storage unit and move two bedroom suite, then to Mom and Dad's house for the weekend to clean out with sister 2 and 3, (sister 4 is staying close to Mom), and back to my daughters. I have a message scheduled for Monday with my favorite pair of magic hands. Live goes on......
So sorry deb. I know you have done all you can for your parents. All I can do is wish you luck at your daughters and your parents house. Sounds like an awful lot of work. Wish I had some real good answers for you. Don't work too hard and maybe when you get back your Mom will have turned the corner, so to speak. I know, thats asking for a miracle. But sometimes they do happen. Chris
Deb,
Gosh...it just never ends does it? I'm so sorry and wish there was a magic pill your Mom could take to get her into a better state of mind. I can't imagine how your dealing with all this but it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Make sure you take care of you and know that we are all praying for you!
I'm sorry, Deb. This whole ordeal is so emotional, isn't it? I can only echo what others have said and hope that things will get better in time.
Regarding the call button, does your mom know how to use it? My mom could never understand at all what it was for or how to use it. Now she's on chair/bed alarms because the neurologist does not want her up for even a second w/o assistance.
Best of luck to you, Deb, and enjoy every minute of that massage..you deserve it!
.... and neither do bad things!! After three days of Mom sobbing, sister 4 arrived to take her to the dentist this afternoon and found her laughing. She has a tooth which will be surgically extracted July 7 but seemed to find life pleasant anyway. Guess we will just have to see what tomorrow brings. She can be such a Jekyll and Hyde. If I knew what caused the reversal I would save it for the next time but who knows.
I have spent the afternoon and evening with my daughter. We sorted the storage unit, made a recycle run, have the GoodWill and trash runs ready as well as the furniture that needs to be moved. Then we went out to eat Mexican (at 10 PM) and took a swing by the ocean for a 15 minute walk. Now I am falling in bed. Just glad the smile surfaced on Mom's face this afternoon.
Deb, you are wonderful. In the midst of all this pain, you can enjoy life - a walk on the beach (green with envy here in the midwest!), a dinner with your sisters. That's what we have to do --- when the bad stuff comes, say "this too shall pass." And it does.
I can only echo what others have said and hope that things will get better in time.
