Been a few days since I posted, but have been reading almost daily. I have come to the conclusion that I have empty nest syndrome. Mom is settled into the NH pretty well, doesn't know she hasn't always been there. The nurses and aids all like her. Her Sundowner's is minimal. She begins seeing the staff psychiatrist this week.
My head knows she is where she needs to be to get the 24 hour care she must have and deserves. My heart? That one is hard. Coming home to an empty house on the evenings DH works is hard, and I haven't even been in her room much. Just to get things she may need. I'm sure I will work through it. I guess DH is more worried about me than I realized. He stopped my best friend as she was leaving work last week and told her he didn't know what to do for me. He is doing all he can, he is very supportive, and a great help. I am so lucky to have him. We spent all of yesterday together. Nothing special, fixed a nice dinner, watched a movie, just being together. We both needed that.
Gotta run pay some bills, you guys all take care, Love Susie
Dear Susie, what a blessing it is for you that your Mom is doing so well --- so many of these pateints rebel and cry and fuss for weeks after entering any facility. I am happy for you that it is going smoothly (and if she does have a few bad days, don't change anything!) ... I am glad for you and your husband that you will now have more time for each other.
Your adjustment is a little like when the kids leave home for colege (I did it 3times) and like losing a job ... a lot of empty hours that used to be overly full. Soon you get to enjoy them!
I am so glad for you and your Mother that she is adjusing so well. I also understand your feelings. I did the same thing when Mom and Dad moved to AL. I had spent so much of my time and myself taking care of them that I was not sure what to do with myself. Give yourself some time to adjust and you will find what you need to occupy the time you used to focus on your mother. I rediscovered my flower garden and reconnected with friends as well. I have spent more time with my daughter and even cleaned out some closets. I still talk to Mom almost every day. Mom and Dad have ok days and not so ok days but I know they are where they need to be and I have reconnected with my own life and know that is where I need to be as well. You will find life after caregiving. You are blessed with a wonder DH and it must make your smile to know he cares for you so. Be patient with yourself, spend time with your DH, reconnect with things you enjoyed in the past, and find new interest. Just go where life leads you. ABetter days are ahead.