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Old 07-17-2008, 05:40 PM   #1
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My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Well, as some of you know; I sold my mom's home and the new people will close tomorrow.

I need to pick up the couple of lamps that have been making it look lived in and will close that door for the last time.

For some reason, I have a feeling this couple is not going to be moving in...they may be renting it out. They live in a very upscale area and paid cash for the house. Knowing I had no home inspection or FHA requirements, I took the cash deal.

Sure hope it was the right move. Some neighbors of mom's are concerned about it being rental...I should have kept my mouth shut, but I had to look out for myself and family..needed to sell that house and be done with it. Of course, maybe it's for a family member of theirs, nobody knows and I don't want to get too involved, if any, with the new people.

So, I guess I'm just venting because I'm leaving the home that Dad built; the only home I ever knew..it's rather sad. But the people that made the house a home are no longer there..and please pray that my mom (in a NH) never; ever; finds out.

Thanks for listening.

 
Old 07-17-2008, 05:52 PM   #2
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Relax, be glad it's done.

As a renter myself, I don't know why they should be any less desirable than any other resident.

But I really wanted to say something about the emotional side of leaving that house for the last time. I left my mother's apartment in NY for the last time on June 16 2005 ... I had emptied out all her things and mine, having spent 5 years with her, and now she was going to live at my brother's home. (soon after, a nursing home.) I had a lot of good memories of that building, that neighborhood, the people -- but equally many nightmarish ones --- the day she went off on a bus and got lost, unable to find her way home. The day a neighbor told me he saw her 2 blocks away trying to open the outer door to a similar apartment house but on the wrong street. The many times she got up in the night and attempted to go outdoors in her nightgown, or awakened me to ask me who I was and why I was there....

I moved to Indiana that day .. and have lived here happily ever after, but that building will always be a part of my memory of one of the saddest episodes of my life as I had to watch helplessly as my mother lost her mind ...

Hope you can find your inner strength and peace to get through this day.

Love,

Martha

 
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Old 07-17-2008, 06:10 PM   #3
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you but just reading this brought tears to my eyes so I can only imagine the emotional toll this will have on you.

Kiss it goodbye and pass it on to the next family who can enjoy it and create new memories in the house your dad built. Just think of all the stories those walls could tell.

But be glad the business of selling it is past you..one more thing to check off that list of things you have to do.

Good luck tomorrow.
Meg

 
Old 07-17-2008, 06:26 PM   #4
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Thanks both of you. As far as renting..Mom's home is in the same area as a lot of rentals, and it seems as though those that move in tend to trash their places. What once was a great street to live in, has now turned into homes that are not taken care of.

Hope it doesn't go the way I'm thinking...but, it's out of my hands now anyway.

I'll keep you updated. I'm hoping it's one of the couple's mom that's buying the house to be near the school so she can watch the kids when they come home. The couple has two young children, and I'm figuring the mom wants to go back to work (she doesn't work currently) and the school is just across the street so maybe grandma can babysit.

As far as I know, their home is not for sale, but you never know!

I'll keep you posted.

BTW, yesterday when I visited Mom, she told me she just got back from a trip to NYC! Said she left on Friday and just got home. Amazingly, she did take a trip to NYC about 20 years ago. Mom is living in the past. Sometimes she addresses other residents like she is talking to me. It's so hard to witness this, but I know it's her brain that is getting so mixed up. I seem to be the only one in the family that can handle all of this. I am blessed in that way, for sure!

Last edited by sunnydaze1; 07-17-2008 at 06:44 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2008, 07:57 PM   #5
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

My heart goes out to you Sunny. I wish for you the courage and energy it will take to walk out for the last time. You said it yourself..... the people that made it a home are no longer there. You will always carry the memories made in that house with you. It is the love, not the bricks or sticks, that makes a home. Yet I do understand your feelings. I will be there myself, hopefully sooner rather than later. We too have to eventually sell the house that Dad built. I always come away drained but knowing it is a necessity.

It is almost done for you. One more trip down memory lane and you will turn it over to a new family to create a home. I hope they feel the love that is imbedded in the walls. As hard at tomorrow will be I know you will handle it. Know my thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Love, deb

 
Old 07-18-2008, 06:52 AM   #6
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Sunny,

You're doing the right thing. That house needs to have a family in it that wants to be busy and happy. I feel that houses like to be occupied, they are just as nosy as people and like to be involved. You has passed it on to someone new who will keep it going just like your family did.

Keep your chin up and just think of all the good years that you had there.
Hang in there.....

 
Old 07-18-2008, 07:39 AM   #7
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Just got home from the house for the last time. The "For Sale" sign is gone; lockbox on the door is gone; and the drapes are open. Realtor must have stopped by and got it ready for the new people.

My elderly aunt lives two doors away, and she is having a very hard time with letting go more than I am. I'm sure she'll befriend the new neighbors, so maybe then she'll relax about it. She thought I was sticking around to greet them...NO WAY!!

I took one last walk around the house; touched my hand to my Dad's signature that is on his workshop door; locked up; and drove away for the last time. I did not cry, it pulled a little at my heart; but more than anything, I feel such a sense of relief. It's been a major job and I'm glad it's done and over.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, it means so much!

 
Old 07-18-2008, 08:17 AM   #8
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Re: My last time at my parent's home tomorrow...

Mornin' Sunny! You made it! You were able to take that hard step many of us have also taken on this scary journey! Each of us have to go down similiar pathways...one step at a time...and, I have to admit...I've been a "foot-dragger" many times!

Several years ago, we had to sell Mom's big old farm house to make sure there was enough $$$ for her care. (make that $$$$$$$ !!) How difficult that was for her 6 "kids"...I was the only one who had never left the area. It took a good year to empty the house, garage, and barn. The 3 brothers living an hour away and I met every weekend to sort, throw, and store. It was challenging to me when we had the "Estate Sale" because so many people stopped by thinking she was already gone. Now, after her starting the 10th year in an Alzheimer's Home...I realize that would have been a blessing...

I think selling that big old house was harder on me than my siblings. It was always me who Mom called when she needed something, or just when I wanted to go pick berries or look for mushrooms! Again...I was the one who didn't move away. Imagine my joy when the family who loved that house/property as much as me was a family with red-headed kids (like ours) who had a music-teacher-mom...(there was always someone playing some kind of instrument at our house!)...and an art-teacher-dad (my Mom was an artist)! I knew that house would be "home" to them too!

I've learned so much in the last 10 years about this horrific disease! (both inlaws afflicted also...unfortunately, their house remains the same as they left it 3 years ago, but that's a whole different story...) and I've found that there's no getting around the changes this brings into all of our lives.

I remember the last look I took at Mom's house. One of the old barns had collapsed during the winter and my brothers dismantled and burned the remains just before selling. There on the foundation sat a pair of turkey buzzards sunning themselves on the old foundation...I took that as a sign........Pam

 
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