It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-04-2008, 05:02 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 126
Janie5301 HB User
Scattering of ashes

I've just returned from scattering some of my DH ashes in the lake where we used to have a cottage in northern Michigan. He loved to fish and two of his four brothers and some other family members were with me. There were three spots that were his favorites and I sprinkled ashes in each place. To say the least, it was a difficult day and at times I couldn't breathe. I know things will get better but there are days I can't imagine living without him. He was the love of my life and there will never be another like him. i registered for a Supportive Spouses support group which starts in September through Hospice and have created a team for the Memory Walk in our area for September. I know, one foot in front of the other....I'm working on that and for the most part, I'm doing pretty well.

Love to you all and God bless,
Janie

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-04-2008, 05:39 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: amarillo texas us
Posts: 22
susie1955 HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Janie,
I won't pretend that I know how hard that was for you. But now there are tangible parts of your DH in the places he loved so and where you had wonderful, fun, relaxing family times, I am sure.
You're right, one foot, one day, one month, at a time. Let the good times through the years overtake you and wrap you in their warmth.
Thinking of you, and Bless you and your family,
Susie

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-04-2008, 05:56 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,182
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

DH is back where he loved to be and I must have given you closure to take him back. Beyond the pain, I can't imagine how incredibly hard it must have been, you were able to revisit moments in his life that brought him such joy. Remember the best of times. Know how incredibly lucky you were to have had him, if only for a while. The love you shared is evident. Good for you for taking the initiative to join the support group and to give back to the Momory walk. Having others that have walked your way to talk to and share the burden makes the road easier to travel. Giving back makes it all worthwhile. You are on a journey to the next time of your life. You are going forward and that's good. Your DH would want you to make it a good time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I send you a big hug and wish for you the courage, creativity, and energy to get through these hard times.

Love, deb

 
Old 08-04-2008, 06:20 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Martha H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,695
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Dear Janie,

You will be all right. Iti s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. God bless you and be with you. It gets better.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 08-04-2008, 07:03 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
DrewsG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Illinois usa
Posts: 690
DrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Dear Janie,
I think of you often. Good to hear from you. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow that you feel. I'm very glad you have so much support. Nothing or no one takes his place I'm sure. But you have a loving family and your love for him is so evident in your words. The love you shared will pull you through this hard time. He would certainly want that for you.
Thinking of you,
Chris

 
Old 08-04-2008, 08:20 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Lake Worth, FLorida USA
Posts: 1,676
meg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB Usermeg1230 HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Dear Janie,

I feel I have no words to console your grief or to lessen the pain. I do have thanks to you for all you do and say to us who are relatively new to these boards. Your expereinces have helped us. I wish I could return the favor.

Day by day. inch by inch. baby steps.

You are loved and appreciated,
Meg

 
Old 08-05-2008, 12:32 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oak Hill, VA
Posts: 3,506
ibake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Janie,

Hang onto the towel honey, we won't let go. hang on and cry and keep putting on foot in front of another for as long as you need to, then just step up and walk next to us...It hurts like h*ll but you'll make it.

You'll get by with a little help from your friends.....

 
Old 08-05-2008, 06:31 PM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 126
Janie5301 HB User
Re: Scattering of ashes

Susie, Deb, Martha, Chris, Meg & Ibake,
Your words and support mean the world to me and I come here everyday to see how you are all doing. Our connection helps me to cope with all of the sadness in our lives and I guess to help make sense of all this. I may not always post but know that I continue to pray for you all and I'm checking in to see if I can lend a hand. I love my towel and cherish it so much that it's always with me.

Love and blessings to you all,
Janie

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
So lost pure and simple Grief & Loss 6 04-01-2009 12:52 PM
I need to go get her. SarahE87 Grief & Loss 10 09-05-2008 02:29 PM
Has anybody experienced unsureness about what to do with their baby's ashes??? Numb_one Miscarriage & Still Birth 12 05-31-2008 05:05 PM
my husbands death Jenny42 Death & Dying 31 03-09-2008 06:54 PM
Me and my mum jelly tots Relationship Health 13 01-12-2007 05:03 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:45 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!