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Old 08-27-2008, 05:38 AM   #1
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auf wiedersehen

my dears,

You are wonderful wonder women. Keep up the good fight. I have nothing to give you. I am just a plain person who lost two parents to this horrid disease. there is nothing I can say that someone hasn't already done.

 
Old 08-27-2008, 07:04 AM   #2
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Re: auf wiedersehen

what? You are not coming back? But that is not allowed! I decided to come back! You have everything to give us - all your experience, your wonderful sense of humor, your fighting spirit. Please please say you are only joking!

Love,

Martha

 
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Old 08-27-2008, 07:57 AM   #3
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Unhappy Re: auf wiedersehen

Ibake,
Please, Please don't do this to us. What has happened?? What is wrong? Are you ill? I still have a long way to go with Mom. I'll need you and your sweet words to help me get through what I still have to face. I'm not sure how I will do this without you and Martha. I'm the one thats just a "plain" person. Not you!!!! Your writing skills are wonderful. This has to STOP.
If your just tired of thinking about dementia.........then take a rest from us. But don't leave us forever. I'm upset............very upset.
Love, Chris
to quote you ibake.........You can't just leave......tisnt a nice thing to do dear one. Unless your ironing towels......

Last edited by DrewsG; 08-27-2008 at 02:23 PM.

 
Old 08-27-2008, 03:00 PM   #4
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Re: auf wiedersehen

I have always appreciated your posts, and have thought you really gave people (including me!) really good answers.

I do understand why you might need a break. The info that we provide can be repetitive, so it feels like everything has been said before. Putting the AD nightmare behind us so we can live our own lives is also probably much healthier than dwelling in the past. I know that the people who posted regularly when I first came on the Board looking for help 7-years ago are long gone.

On the other hand, new people show up on the Board every week, who need help and who have lots of questions. It's people like you who really, really make a difference to them. Your answers are calm, thorough, helpful and informative. In my case, your sympathy and understanding got me through a few really, really, really bad days. Please consider staying, or coming back after a vacation from the Board. And thank you again - wishing you joy in your days, and peace in your nights.

Last edited by Beginning; 08-27-2008 at 03:01 PM.

 
Old 08-27-2008, 04:36 PM   #5
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Please don't go, you're the sickest one here, and I mean that in the positive good way my 20 something son would use it. Seriously, I know there does come a time when you may just be done. I belonged to a congenital heart defects board years ago. First they helped me, then I helped newcomers, and one day I had nothing more to say. Ditching us is cool if you're simply ready to move on. If you go for good reasons, know that much as this newbie wishes you would continue to offer her a towel, she sees your moving on as a positive step she hopes to someday take. Wishing you every good thing....

 
Old 08-27-2008, 05:19 PM   #6
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Ibake.... no no no... you were one of the ones that knocked some sense into me when we had to move Mom and Dad to AL. Your humor has pulled me through some dark times. You have been a rock of support, information, and common sense. Perhaps you don't know how much you have given to so many. I have so much more to learn from you. I agree with Chris.... We looked up rule 46 after you told Martha she couldn't leave. Guess what!! Rule 46 applies to you too.

If there is a reason you must know we all send you our love and prayers but do NOT want you to go. Please reconsider. Those of us that are hear and those to come need to wisdom, expertise, humor, and nononsense approach. As I said..... we have much more that we can learn from you. And I would terribly miss my towel mate

Love, deb

 
Old 08-28-2008, 05:32 AM   #7
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Ibake.....Please know how much you have meant to me....I will miss you.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 07:01 AM   #8
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Re: auf wiedersehen

OK ladies. I feel completely selfish begging ibake not to leave. I guess thats what I am. I'm not ready to lose a friend. Thats what I feel like, I'm losing a friend. Our friend Martha changed her mind in a few days. I'm hoping ibake will do the same. Her humor is what I will miss the most. That lady is "funny".
Who of us here don't need a good laugh???? I'm sure she needs a rest. I pray she is OK.
Headed to Moms today. She isn't well. So many things going wrong. Have a good day ladies.
Chris

 
Old 08-28-2008, 07:07 AM   #9
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Ibake, I have not posted much to the board, but I have read the posts here regularly for the last year or so, since DH and I have been caring for his parents and his mother has Alzheimers and recently suffered a massive stroke. She is only 77 and his dad is 90. I felt so alone before I found this board ... I'm 38 and my husband and I had our first (and only) child in 2001, the year my dear mother-in-law was diagnosed and we moved to the town we live in so we could care for them. It has been the hardest yet most rewarding time of my life ... advocating for them, caring for them, trying to balance fulfilling their wishes with getting them the best care possible, trying to balance my daughter's needs and never letting her miss out on anything because of the care her grandparents require but seeing the opportunity she's had to learn compassion and how to be comfortable around people with all sorts of challenges. The information I've discovered on this board has been invaluable ... it saved me and made me feel like we weren't alone, we weren't the only young family going through this with our parents. People try to be supportive, but there are things about this you just don't understand until you've been through it. So please know that you have all helped me so much and I understand that when caregivers offer so much of themselves to others, sometimes they need to step back and take a breather. So I hope you do come back to visit from time to time and share your knowledge with us, but if you need time away, i just want to thank you for all you've given of yourself by sharing your own journey. You are all my heroes and God bless our families who have fought this battle!
Take Care,
Shell

 
Old 08-28-2008, 04:42 PM   #10
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Re: auf wiedersehen

You are right Chris, I am being selfish. I do want IBake to know what she means to me and how important she is and has been in my journey since I have been here. I want her to know many dark days I have read her ingenious post and cried from laughter instead of sadness or gained an insight that brought me to a new perspective. That takes a special person to be able to do that for those of us stuck in the dark space of Planet ALZ. IBake, you offer something so unique with your straight forward approach and touch of incredible humor. Your spot will forever be yours in my heart. But you must do what you must do and my prayers go with you.

Hello to you Shell. Sorry to hear you are also dealing with this disease but it sounds like you have a good handle (even if it is duct taped) on what you are doing. It is a balancing act. Feel free to post. We love to hear from you.

Love, deb

 
Old 08-28-2008, 05:07 PM   #11
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Dearest Ibake....
I'm sorry I have to jump on this bandwagon....not to add to your pressure, but I have to. You are one of my surrogate grandmas....please do not leave.......I am now feeling like part of a family again, and you are a huge part of that. I know you ladies must get tired.....and I thank God that you and Martha stick around here to guide the rest of us through this journey with our loved ones....but we dont just need you both for advice, we need you for "you"....to be our friends......to connect with and to share our lives on this board.
There is nothing "plain" about you Ibake.....and there is no one who can provide support exactly as you do with such humor and straightforwardness. Everyone here has their own unique way of caring and offering support and advice.....and you are no exception, you are so loved here and are such a blessing......please reconsider. Remember all these pushy broads here...who are rallying for you to stay...
Ladies, all wave your towels high in the air....and join together to ask our friend to stay!!!!

Look even....Shell has said that she has been reading for over a year....and now posts to show you how much value you have here....that says so much Ibake....

Shell - welcome to this board, and I hope to see you posting more also.....

Love, Caroline xo

Last edited by mary09; 08-28-2008 at 05:16 PM.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #12
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Re: auf wiedersehen

Ibake,
I know everyone is asking (begging) you to stay and I want you to know that I understand if you feel it's time to take a break. After losing your loved ones to this disease, as you & I have, I believe there is a time when visiting this board helps you to move on by sharing your wisdom and thoughts. But there may come a time when it is "time to move on" and maybe visit every so often to keep in touch. Everyone mourns in their own way and I don't know about you, but I get tired of always keeping the illness right in front of my face. I am focusing on things like the MEMORY WALK and getting a team together, placing a paver at the hospice facility that sent loving people to my home to help me take care of my DH and joining a support group to help me deal with the loss of the sweetest man I have ever met. Every one does it their own way and if you feel you need a break, just keep your towel handy and give us a hello every now and then if that's what you want to do. I, for one, will never forget your compassionate words and will continue to pray for you always. Thank you for being a dear, loving person and I hope you will continue to find peace in your life.

Love and blessings,
Janie

 
Old 08-28-2008, 05:45 PM   #13
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Re: auf wiedersehen

I also understand the desire to get away from IT. But AD is all over. In this one week I have heard from an old friend in Germany whose father is now in the last stages, and my neighbor across the street has a sister now being moved to AL. My church is sponsoring a course for AD caregivers. It is just everywhere you look.

At least I can visit this Board at times when I have nothing else to do, catch up on people I have become very fond of and cannot contact otherwise, and hope to put in a helpful word now and then.

Ill be away for the time I'm in New York helping my brother sort out Mom's belongings, but then I do plan to come back. Maybe only for a little longer, until Mom has been gone for a year (that wold be just after Christmas...)

One thing we 'veterans' can tell you - your life does go on. You find things about dementia to be thankful for. Example - Mom was not in pain, did not need any operations, (outside of the broken hip unrelated to AD), chemo or radiation, not suffering or in agony. She fell asleep and did not wake up. It could have been much worse.

A young man near here was just killed while riding a bike on the public street. So sad, so useless. He had small childlren. That is a tragedy. Alzheimer is a challenge. (Easy to say 8 months after the person is gone ...)

Love,

Martha

 
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